Page 3 | Refusing to meet up with a vaccine refuser?

littlepattilou · 20/02/2021 11:23

@BlueSoop It does seem a bit OTT.

I have been vaccinated, and so has DH, and DD and her boyfriend are being done on Tuesday. None of us are going to 'check up' on anyone.. As a few pps have said, the risk is on them, and not you.

That said, I know a woman (I will call her Louise,) who is in her mid 30s, and has 3 young children (aged 7 y.o. down to 2 y.o,) and her 73 y.o. gran is a covid denier, and won't wear a mask, OR have the vaccine.

So Louise (with the 3 kids,) is refusing to go to her house, and is refusing to let her see the grandkids. They're gran's only 3 grandchildren, and grandad (her husband) died 5 years ago. Louise's mother (52,) is refusing to go too, in case she takes anything to her.

So she is alone. Crying and moaning, but it's her choice to deny covid. Like it's her daughter, and grandaughter's choice to refuse to go to her house.

Granny is/was in their 'bubble' by the way.

littlepattilou · 20/02/2021 11:23

How interesting that most comments on here are bashing the OP, and speaking up against her, yet the poll results suggest way more people actually agree with her.

Handy these polls, and it gives a clearer picture of what people actually think. Many people vote but don't comment, lest they get berated and bashed by the vipers.

RichardMarxisinnocent · 20/02/2021 11:24

OP, what about family and friends who can't have the vaccine? Will you refuse to spend time with them in their homes? Treat them as outcasts? Not all people who don't have the vaccine are "vaccine refusers" as you put it.

Just googled meetups, rumour is 2 households meeting outdoors from Good Friday. So I'd have to hire a car, stay in a hotel (if allowed) and hope the weather was dry and warm enough for us to be able to spend three days in their garden and doing outside activities. So not the great news I was hoping for.

MrsKJones · 20/02/2021 11:26

@BlueSoop

this is simply not true Of course it is. Let’s say you’re exposed to Covid. If you’re vaccinated your chance of catching it and bringing it home is much lower compared to if you haven’t been vaccinated.

That's NOT how the vaccine works!!

The vaccine works by recognising if you're infected with COVID and fighting it so the symptoms are reduced to mild-flu type symptoms rather than landing you in the hospital.

Original poster

BlueSoop · 20/02/2021 11:29

And you’re much more likely to have a heavy viral load if you’re unvaccinated.

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 20/02/2021 11:31

The vaccine works by recognising if you're infected with COVID and fighting it so the symptoms are reduced to mild-flu type symptoms rather than landing you in the hospital.

Not really. Vaccines work by training your immune system to recognise parts of the pathogen so if it gets into your body, your own immune system can deal with it before it either causes symptoms or serious disease. The vaccine does not fight off covid.

SoupDragon · 20/02/2021 11:32

Handy these polls, and it gives a clearer picture of what people actually think.

They don't. Lots have voting turned off and those with it turned off are thus more likely to comment.

yankeedoodlecandy · 20/02/2021 11:32

Yet another one. Why did you post in AIBU? You obviously don't think you are, which is your prerogative, others have told you are yet you're still arguing your case. If you don't want to meet him don't meet him.

Macncheeseballs · 20/02/2021 11:34

You're probs best off not hanging out with the knob any ways

Original poster

BlueSoop · 20/02/2021 11:41

Why did you post in AIBU? You obviously don't think you are
Fair point. I’ll ask for the thread to be deleted and won’t respond further.

OP posts:

mopphead · 20/02/2021 11:43

Would you have met up with them had they simply not been offered it, or is the refusing that sparks your moral outrage?

I'd still meet with them. Outdoors if you feel more comfortable that way. Unless there is a massive drip feed coming, you, DH and DC are more likely to be a risk to (presumably older) MIL and co partner than the other way round. Also does DC to to nursery or school? Because most of those won't be vaccinated.

peak2021 · 20/02/2021 11:45

I agree with you, as long as you are consistent with others who have refused the vaccine. If it was your mum and not MIL I'd hope you'd take the same view.

thepeopleversuswork · 20/02/2021 11:45

@littlepattilou

How interesting that most comments on here are bashing the OP, and speaking up against her, yet the poll results suggest way more people actually agree with her.

Handy these polls, and it gives a clearer picture of what people actually think. Many people vote but don't comment, lest they get berated and bashed by the vipers.

I think that's a bit unfair: can't speak for everyone but I agree with the OP on the fundamentals which is that the MIL's partner is a twat whose behaviour in theory could put others at risk and sympathise with her position.

But many of us also recognise that in practice at the moment her position doesn't make sense and also has the potential to give her MIL a lot of grief.

In this case its not about the vipers its about the fact that the OP's position seems a bit illogical.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 20/02/2021 11:47

I dont understand this view point AT ALL. If you think the vaccine is so wonderful and the answer to all our prayers then YOU have it and you'll be protected right? there should be no danger whatsoever and if you are worried that the vaccine doesnt work then why the fck are you saying you wont mix with people who havent had it????

Your perspective is completely flawed, judgemental and ridiculous

CeibaTree · 20/02/2021 11:50

I think the rumours are it will be two households meeting outside, so I would be happy to meet anyone vaccinated or not outside - the risk is so small. And if you've had your first jab by then, I'd be even less worried. But totally up to you I guess, but as a pp said are you planning to demand to see vaccine proof from everyone you interact with in the future? Seems a bit bonkers to me.

Parker231 · 20/02/2021 11:52

I think very poorly of anyone who can but chooses not to have the vaccine. That’s their problem and risk but you won’t know who has and hasn’t had it so won’t be able to spend your life avoiding them.

cerisecherries · 20/02/2021 11:52

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

I dont understand this view point AT ALL. If you think the vaccine is so wonderful and the answer to all our prayers then YOU have it and you'll be protected right? there should be no danger whatsoever and if you are worried that the vaccine doesnt work then why the fck are you saying you wont mix with people who havent had it????

Your perspective is completely flawed, judgemental and ridiculous

How embarrassing for you. She clearly says that she might have had it by then. She's not refusing it.

roundturnandtwohalfhitches · 20/02/2021 11:53

You can just not see them because they are selfish arseholes who will only get their life back to normal because they are piggy backing on other people are taking the miniscule risk of having the vaccine. Presumably they don't have any medical issues that would mean they can't have the vaccine. Best to be straight with them.
You can tell them you don't want them putting your kids at risk but the risk might be v small. No point in trying to logic your way out of it because they must be hard of thinking.

GabsAlot · 20/02/2021 11:55

do your dc go to school op-if not fine you have a point but if they normally do then i dont understand as none of them will have been vaccinated

i dont agree with anti vac just syaing youre logic s flawed

AlexaShutUp · 20/02/2021 11:58

I think it's fair enough if you feel that they would put you and your family at increased risk. It's your decision to make.

I have a friend who is planning on refusing the vaccination. So will her DH. They have both been covid deniers from the start tbh. Anti-mask. Now anti-vax. She has stopped telling me that the virus itself is a conspiracy (after I told her about the several people I knew who had died from covid) and she is now saying instead that it's natural to live with viruses and that she trusts in her immune system. I think she is batshit tbh, and I have lost a lot of respect for her. I probably won't refuse to see her altogether, as I think she is quite isolated, but I do see her in a very different light now.

Hagqueen · 20/02/2021 12:00

I think a lot of people are looking at this at a different angle?

I won’t hang out with antivaxxers. Its not about the extra risk - its about their moral position, and I will not reward that by giving them time with me/my loved ones when they want it. I wouldn’t hang out with a racist or a homophobe, I’m not gonna hang out with a person who refuses a vaccine based on Covid-denial or other similar veins.

I will happily meet with people and spend time with those who haven’t had the vaccine when safe to do so, if they’ve not had the vaccine due to legit reasons.

Yes, there is a massive element of where do I draw that line, but that’s my moral line to draw and its different for everyone.

GobbeHappy · 20/02/2021 12:01

Does he have some sort of mental health problem or is he one of these people who actually believes what he reads on social media ?.

Hwory · 20/02/2021 12:01

I cba to quote anyone but the different risks I choose to take obviously change depending on my priorities.

I need to work (although I WFH), my children need an education and we need to eat (although I get online shopping).

Socialising with unvaccinated people isn't at the top of my priorities so I won't be doing it.

I am also lucky that the majority of my friends work in some kind of caring capacity so they either have already had the vaccine or are chomping at the bit to get it.

If YOU don't want the vaccine or YOU want to hang around people who refuse to (note different to being unable to get the vaccine) your welcome to.

CutePixie · 20/02/2021 12:06

@BlueSoop

MIL has been offered a vaccine appointment. MIL’s cohabiting partner has refused the vaccine. Myself, DH and DC have not yet been vaccinated.

This morning MIL has read the news about family meet-ups possibly being allowed by Easter and wants to make a plan. It’s possible that DH and I may have had our first jab by then.

WIBU to say I don’t want to meet up with a vaccine refuser? Close contact with a vaccine refuser is introducing a risk into our family that wouldn’t otherwise be present. Plus he’s trying to talk MIL out of having the vaccine so if that happens I won’t want to meet up with her either.

Many people are NOT anti-vaccines, but they’re wary about this new type of vaccine (the first MRNA vaccine to be used on humans). This vaccine doesn’t prevent you catching it or transmitting it, so in theory you should be ok if you had it and met up with someone who didn’t. They’re more at risk than you.

There have been a plethora of side effects to the Pfizer and Oxford versions, including Covid19 symptoms, cardiac issues, anaphylaxis, and death.

It’s horrible that the government and media are causing this divide. Let people have consent over their own bodies. If you want it, then fine. If you don’t, then fine.

PurpleDaisies · 20/02/2021 12:09

This vaccine doesn’t prevent you catching it or transmitting it, so in theory you should be ok if you had it and met up with someone who didn’t.

It’s interesting that so many people are so confident that vaccines do not prevent transmission when all the scientists have been saying it is just too early to know one way or another.

We are starting to see data coming through that shows the Pfizer vaccine does reduce transmission.