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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I the only woman who has never been sent a dick pic?

139 replies

Echobelly · 19/02/2021 19:40

Or any other sexually aggressive message online?

I am, of course, in nothing but happy about this, but a lot of people talk about how women are constantly bombarded with obscene messages online.

Maybe it's because I haven't online dated since the turn of the millennium (yes, I'm that old)? Dick pics and horrible messages were definitely a thing then, but never got any.

I occasionally get random blokes trying to friend me or message me on social media, but I always block, so might have been dodging a bullet there.

OP posts:
Mysillystory · 19/02/2021 22:06

@NewLevelsOfTiredness I haven't really think about it. I'm a porky bugger who doesn't like exercise, maybe £500 with the proviso I can put a picture of my ex husband on him Grin. It seems like an awful lot of exercise!

plominoagain · 19/02/2021 22:06

Nope, don’t get it either - in any sense ! I mean it’s hardly aesthetically pleasing, is it ? wouldn’t know what to do in response - laugh , or send a rating .

Someone at work I used to know had a whole folder of these things that had been sent to her when she was doing OLD. I don’t think she ever met any of the people the appendages were attached to , not once .

ElijahsMoon · 19/02/2021 22:08

i havnt online dated and get dick pics. odd as myself with my children are my social media banner pic and thats where i get sent them most Envy (not envy). ive had random ones end up in my "junk" folder on facebook from randoms but also ive had them from old colleagues/friends. some start a "hey how are you" chat first and then send them while others just randomly send them. I havnt dated a lot of people and have been married to DH for 10+ years ( but he doesnt feature on my social media at all as he is well known for his work in our area and I found a lot of "friends" would message me and try to get mates rates or free advice for things. also had a few old school friends see him on my pictures and then ring his office for help, saying i sent them or that they were a really good friend of mine when they weren't).

also im very average looking and in my 40s. never been "beautiful" but do make sure i look smart. no bikini/underwear pictures on social media and overall very boring life. not that any of these things justify dick pics.

DreamingofAruba · 19/02/2021 22:09

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

Maybe it's because I haven't online dated since the turn of the millennium

Well there's your answer. Smart phones and apps didn't exist in 2000 and the culture of online dating was nothing Ike it is now.

It's like saying "Am I the only one who's never downloaded a song to iTunes? Well of course I've never owned an Apple Device but still"

Am I the only one who's never scrubbed their children's clothes in a river with a rock???
Northernsoullover · 19/02/2021 22:10

Nope. Never had one and I have been OLD since smartphones have existed. I'm delighted. They are horrible looking things (IMO).

Ginfordinner · 19/02/2021 22:15

but also ive had them from old colleagues/friends. some start a "hey how are you" chat first and then send them while others just randomly send them.

I honestly don't know anyone in RL who would do this. You know some pretty seedy people. Does it make you think less of them?

And why do boys (I say boys, not men because they clearly have the mental age of boys) think that women find dick pics alluring?

ShowOfHands · 19/02/2021 22:24

I'm into my third decade with the same man so no, but my friend from choir had loads from a spell trying online dating. She used to show them to us, as well as the requests for her to shove their heads down toilets and poo on them or stamp on them or spit in their mouths. Occasionally, these requests would follow weeks of normal chat. Not a niche dating site, PoF iirc. A lot of them were married too. She gave up and got a dog for company.

sonnysunshine · 19/02/2021 22:25

Does it ever work? I love sex and men. But I don't think I've ever looked a penis a thought fuck me how attractive.

Italiangranny · 19/02/2021 22:41

@LApprentiSorcier I have always found saying in a loud, chirpy Pollyanna way ‘gosh! It’s just like a penis, but smaller!’ whilst pointing at the mans groin, effective in situations like this where the member in question was being paraded like a show pony.

It may translate to text as well.

LApprentiSorcier · 19/02/2021 22:45

@Italiangranny I was too flummoxed to say anything at the time, sadly. Just wanted to get away! Hopefully it won't happen again now I'm so far the other side of 40 but I will bear your advice in mind, thank you.

toconclude · 19/02/2021 22:47

@PancakesPopTarts
Grim. If any bf of mine ever had they'd be an ex directly after. Can't imagine why anyone thinks this is remotely classy.

LeaveMyDamnJam · 19/02/2021 22:53

Me neither. I’ve been with DH a long time. I’m very glad I have been subjected to this disgusting trend.

MinnieJackson · 19/02/2021 23:12

Never, but I want one just to laugh at Grin
I get messages saying hello beautiful or whatever (I'm not) and my mum has so many pilots, military men and navy seamen! Wish they would 😂

thepeopleversuswork · 19/02/2021 23:14

I've only ever had one...

But I think I was pretty good at avoiding the obvious dick pic merchants. After a while its fairly easy to spot a sleaze early on.

grassisjeweled · 19/02/2021 23:15

Never had one either

It'd have to be impressive

AdoraBell · 19/02/2021 23:16

I haven’t either but I’m not on social media.

grassisjeweled · 19/02/2021 23:16

my mum has so many pilots, military men and navy seamen!

^

Me too! US Navy officer, etc. But your mum?! I'm only 39 😭

goldielockdown2 · 19/02/2021 23:32

When I said I receive them on IG, I'm not dating or engaging with these weirdos they just pop up unwelcome in my DMs. I don't think they are trying to impress or hook up, but get a kick out of it.

Skysblue · 19/02/2021 23:33

I know a few female authors who say they get sent them daily :(

I haven’t so far thankfully but my details aren’t very available.

Stinkywizzleteets · 19/02/2021 23:39

I haven’t .

StillWeRise · 19/02/2021 23:43

@Sparklingbrook

Me neither because I am old. if you wanted a dick pic in my day (and I really didn't) you would have to take a photo of it, send the film off to Truprint, get the prints back and send it off in the post. However I think Truprint would report you to the police or something. Grin

Even now though I really don't get why it would be in any way desirable.

yup!!! these youngsters don't know they're born do you remember when you got your photos back and they would be printed with 2 mini versions of each picture for you to give to your gran? ...but no, no dick pics thank god
lockdownconfused · 20/02/2021 01:15

When I was online dating 9 years ago I was really shocked that the first man to message me followed up with a dick pic, I wasn't aware it was even thing tbh. Soon got used to it though as out of every 10 men to message as soon as you responded 2 would just send a picture 🙄
Even the seemingly normal men would sometimes escalate to these after a couple of days messaging. Straight from what did you have for tea to here's a picture of my dick are you interested 🤣

Blibbyblobby · 20/02/2021 01:34

@NewLevelsOfTiredness

As a guy what I don't get it is... I've never heard of it working. Not once. Putting aside the issue of it being gross and inappropriate, why do something that is famously ineffective? Or is there a secret section of women out there who think "that one actually looks alright, game on!" (which I severely doubt, or at least that it's such a minority that we're back to "why bother?")

@Mysillystory Out of pure morbid curiosity, what is your minimum price to kick a guy in the nuts for pay? (I won't be ordering your services regardless of the answer, to be clear.)

I assume it's no different to the reasons men catcall, grope and flash: a power thing.

By sending a dick pic the man forces the woman to see his dick. He unilaterally makes the decision to create a sexual connection with her, she has no opportunity to stop him. Next time they meet/interact even if neither mentions it they both know it happened. If she says nothing he knows he has power over her - she will keep quiet when her boundaries are crossed rather than have an uncomfortable conversation.

Waspnest · 20/02/2021 01:42

No thank god I haven't. But I got married pre-smart phone era.

Me neither because I am old. if you wanted a dick pic in my day (and I really didn't) you would have to take a photo of it, send the film off to Truprint, get the prints back and send it off in the post. However I think Truprint would report you to the police or something.

Yes! I remember that or Bonusprint. You used to get a free film as well.

My Dsis used to work in a chemist where they developed films and she said they used to all look through the photos before people collected them so yes presumably if there was anything dodgy, you could be reported.

Boredoutmymind · 20/02/2021 04:30

here is your first dick pic from a stranger

Am I the only woman who has never been sent a dick pic?