To not tell friend where I bought something.

[GardenGnomeParty]

Three years ago we bought a common garden thing from a local supplier. It's gorgeous, still looks great, had lots of use and we love it.
My friend admired it but was then disappointed to be given a lovely but different one from her family. Not heard from her for ages, no presents for my DD last year for her birthday, I thought the friendship had faded.
She's now asked where we bought ours from.
I don't want to tell her.
It was expensive and I don't want local gossip.
Our version is unusual but classy and I don't want to share my 'fucking nailed it this time' style.
I have sensed 'competitive purchasing' from this 'Shopping Friend' family in the past, they do it with others and pride themselves on their great 'taste'. It's not healthy and we have distanced ourselves from them.
The examples they gave with other friends were best car, slow cooker, bell tent, dog breed, cat breed, mug manufacturer. They take great pride in their purchasing and like to buy the 'best'. It will end up all over Instagram and I'll have to listen to mutual friends tell me I've bought one just like 'Shopping Friend'

So yabu - tell her, share the joy, it's just a thing for the garden
Yanbu - keep quiet, wallow in your mid life teen cool crisis, don't share the info, you win the best garden thing prize, don't share.

Cocoon chair with cat @silverbirchwithout, I'd be thinking Bond villain but actually look like Baron Greenback.

How the other half live posh garden wars.

Did like your definitions of YABU or YANBU though as well as some of the other 'made up terms' in your OP

Super duper carved cast iron fire pit?

Anyway it probably is a bit petty but if she’s into one-upmanship I’d not tell her either.

Boring consumerist stuff aside - I wouldn’t get back to her because it’s the only reason she’s been in touch. I tend to slink away from ‘friendships’ where it feels like I’m being used.

@MountainPeakGeek

A real friend, I'd tell them. But someone who hadn't bothered keeping in touch and then contacted me out of the blue just to ask this - I'd ignore them...

Agree

@GardenGnomeParty

Cocoon chair with cat *@silverbirchwithout*, I'd be thinking Bond villain but actually look like Baron Greenback.

🙀

I have said yanbu because I hate it if someone steals my mojo and makes it their own. I know of what you speak.
I’m probably supposed to be mature about it and not mind but fuck that.

Anyway...tell us tell us tell us. Is it a fancy fire pit or chimnea thingy?

Local gossip? Really?

You sound quite petty OP.

@Mellonsprite

I bet it’s a water feature cherub that ‘wees’ into a pond, and I right? Anyway, I’d tell her eBay.

Manneken Pis!

When you die you can’t even take a needle with you - just tell her. Who gives a shit. How do you even have the headspace for this?!

If the friendship has faded anyway I don’t know why you’d even bother replying, just ignore it.

Tell her you got it from TK Maxx. They sell random brands, she won't expect to find it there, and the price you paid would be uncertain.

Local gossip?! Crikey it must be really boring where you live!

I think it's a fancy fire pit or something. But anyway, who cares if she has one the same? If there's one in her garden and one in your garden then it's hardly like you're both turning up to the oscars in the same dress is it?

TK Maxx or Home Sense is a good idea

Or "got it online"

Just tell her where you bought the lewd gnomes.

There are some really nice friends I would tell anything to about purchases etc and others you know are just being copy cats or enquiring about the price. I am just realising that I have one friend she likes to know the price of everything it's as if she is constantly comparing what I have and what she doesnt and she is really starting to bug me. If she actually worked as hard as she does asking terrible questions she could buy what she wants

@AnnLouiseB

I would love to know where you live that a common garden thing purchased from a local supplier will lead to local gossip

I think that's why I like it round here, it's not generally competitive, everyone is too poor, which is why this has got under my skin.
The answer is normally B&M or the local garden centre, I just went crazy, travelling nearly an hour to pick to this thing up.

It's honestly this one particular person in the past made a thing, more than once, about having the 'best' stuff.

Did have a talk today with my teen about people being able to like the same band. Her failure is all my fault.

Fire pit?

Where is this parallel universe where people whisper and gossip about common garden objects like some weird horticultural branch of MI5 ?

Maybe you are the woman several streets away from me who has more than 76 gnomes in her small front yard (I say 'more than' because I once tried to count them and couldn't get an accurate answer because there were so many).
She has every size and incarnation of gnomehood possible. She even brings out festive gnomes in December.
She is a total legend - I can only admire from afar.

1. Google tackiest version of said item you can find.

1. Send her link to that tacky crap supplier.

1. Back up with safety statement of them possibly not doing your version any more.

1. Mention anecdotally about the sex gnome you’re thinking of buying & how they’re all the rage

Chin chin mo fo

Geez, tell her, what's the drama? I would take it as a compliment.

Is it this OP?

@AmyDudley

Where is this parallel universe where people whisper and gossip about common garden objects like some weird horticultural branch of MI5 ?

Maybe you are the woman several streets away from me who has more than 76 gnomes in her small front yard (I say 'more than' because I once tried to count them and couldn't get an accurate answer because there were so many).
She has every size and incarnation of gnomehood possible. She even brings out festive gnomes in December.
She is a total legend - I can only admire from afar.

You don't live in Leeds, do you? 😂