To not tell friend where I bought something.

[GardenGnomeParty]

Three years ago we bought a common garden thing from a local supplier. It's gorgeous, still looks great, had lots of use and we love it.
My friend admired it but was then disappointed to be given a lovely but different one from her family. Not heard from her for ages, no presents for my DD last year for her birthday, I thought the friendship had faded.
She's now asked where we bought ours from.
I don't want to tell her.
It was expensive and I don't want local gossip.
Our version is unusual but classy and I don't want to share my 'fucking nailed it this time' style.
I have sensed 'competitive purchasing' from this 'Shopping Friend' family in the past, they do it with others and pride themselves on their great 'taste'. It's not healthy and we have distanced ourselves from them.
The examples they gave with other friends were best car, slow cooker, bell tent, dog breed, cat breed, mug manufacturer. They take great pride in their purchasing and like to buy the 'best'. It will end up all over Instagram and I'll have to listen to mutual friends tell me I've bought one just like 'Shopping Friend'

So yabu - tell her, share the joy, it's just a thing for the garden
Yanbu - keep quiet, wallow in your mid life teen cool crisis, don't share the info, you win the best garden thing prize, don't share.

John Lewis "posh" ?

What the hell have I just read!
People are dying
Grow the fuck up

Tell her it came from Liberty.

@Ifeelsuchafool

John Lewis "posh" ?

The joke here surely is that john lewis might have stocked it, they might not have, but it's no style statement. I think it's like saying "the shop is not the point, I have a GOOD EYE"

Dont tell her!!! I really get your frustration. I have an in law who copies some of the things I do. Honestly, I have been telling DH for years what she is up too. He thought I was crazy! Then I got fed up of him thinking I'm looney, so, I tested her.

I told DH what I was going to do, then told said in law, NEXT thing, she had told the whole family and had hers completed before me. Lucky, i wasn't actually going to do it. But now my DH can see and spot her up to her tricks. It's so annoying.

YABU don't be ridiculous and horrible. Figs. What is wrong with people.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 I’m speechless

I get you OP.
Years ago as a child growing up my parents were very young when they had myself & siblings & extended themselves financially with a mortgage.Money was tight so naturally anything needed for the kids & house came first. As a result my mum & dad went without a lot. However, if & when my mum got a new coat, shoes, item of clothing ( & I stress it was only when absolutely essential - bless her, she was over the moon & so so pleased) or even something as simple as a lamp shade or mugs etc, we had an aunt on my dads side who would be out buying the exact same item the next day. My mum stopped telling her where she got items, but, as we lived in a relatively small town they weren’t that difficult to find. I remember it upsetting my mum & even as a pre teen I understood.
YADNBU OP - & for all those saying “grow up” & it’s “childish” ignore them, they demonstrate no understanding or attempt at understanding whatsoever. I wouldn’t tell her.

Tell her you stole it from someone’s garden!

It was a gift and you don't know.

@oceanwaves2018 I totally get that.

On the face of it, those saying ''oh get over it, it's just material'' may identify with being emotionally intelligent. But I don't think completely ignoring human nature is a superior type of emotional intelligence.

This isn't the same as recommending that the OP say something petty, but I don't think she should berate herself for wanting to hold on to that happy feeling of having sourced something nice, on a budget.

It's ok to just blandly say ''I can't remember, John Lewis?''.

That isn't petty. It's just realising that you don't owe it to every soul who crosses your path to disclose every detail of your life/house/wardrobe.

What is it?!

A high end greenhouse???
An expensive purchase would be even more annoying. I totally get it OP. Just be vague and keep changing the subject if she texts again, or ignore the actual question in your reply. Very petty I know but that’ll drive her crackers or embarrass her enough to take the hint at least.

[quote GardenGnomeParty]@TeaAndBiscuitsAndWine would work for a physical celebration of a beautiful backside but also a metaphorical statement if he turned out to be, an arse.
Winner, winner, add to basket.[/quote]
In all honesty, it would be both, and yes I am childish and I don’t care 😂

Tell her Ebay second hand

Shallow, shallow shallow. Who the f. cares!!!!! Is this post a wind up?

What a sad life if not, caring about your 'good taste' and 'stuff' so much!

This is hilarious

I can be extremely petty too and would take great joy in not telling her......you never know. She might find one during her holiday to Elevenerife.

@HarryElephante

Is this thread serious? The world is so f**ked.

No, it isn't serious. It's a bit of light relief from the death and disaster all around us.

Thank you everyone, I've read the whole thread at least twice and you are amazing.

For those concerned at me cluttering up AIBU with the trivial, that is what AIBU is for. It to give you lot a chance to come up with the mad & the bad suggestions that make us all laugh but as sane members of society wouldn't actually do or say.

So I doubt any of us will be populating our gardens with personalised Gnomes of our exes but the idea made me laugh so much.

My shopping friend and her family will suffer no harm if they fail to purchase the exact same version that I have and they already have a very lovely one already. (Just not as nice as mine)

@JesusAteMyHamster funny you should bring up Elevenerife, there was once a tiny cross over in our holiday destination, apparently on the east 'their side' of the island got the best of the sun rises and sunsets whilst our west side got nothing.

This strangely reminds me of when I had friends who were twins and when we were teenagers one twin wouldnt allow the other one to wear Heather Shimmer lipstick because it was her colour.

I reckon the OPs garden thing is some type of sculpture. Or water feature. One of them broken terracotta pot affairs??

I get what you mean OP. It's nice to have your home akin to your own sense of taste and style. I spend a lot of time researching before renovating or buying furniture etc. It's stifling (even if flattering) when someone likes it and just replicates without having to incur any of the time and thought.

I have a friend who does this. She is lovely (and it IS flattering) but occasionally it does feel like a bit much. Occasionally I've said I got something second hand from ebay so she didn't rush out and buy identical stuff. It was even things like birthday cakes I'd made my children that she'd spend ages photographing so she could replicate them a couple of weeks later.

I will say that when this was at its peak she was at an unhappy time in her life and once she was happier it didn't happen quite so much. I'm glad now I didn't say any thing as maybe it acted as some sort of comfort or anchor for her.

Just tell her, why does it matter

@AmyDudley

Where is this parallel universe where people whisper and gossip about common garden objects like some weird horticultural branch of MI5 ?

Maybe you are the woman several streets away from me who has more than 76 gnomes in her small front yard (I say 'more than' because I once tried to count them and couldn't get an accurate answer because there were so many).
She has every size and incarnation of gnomehood possible. She even brings out festive gnomes in December.
She is a total legend - I can only admire from afar.

I bet it's chaos in a storm

@fourquenelles

Coincidence that THIS popped up on my Facebook feed just now?

I would love them xx