To not tell friend where I bought something.

[GardenGnomeParty]

Three years ago we bought a common garden thing from a local supplier. It's gorgeous, still looks great, had lots of use and we love it.
My friend admired it but was then disappointed to be given a lovely but different one from her family. Not heard from her for ages, no presents for my DD last year for her birthday, I thought the friendship had faded.
She's now asked where we bought ours from.
I don't want to tell her.
It was expensive and I don't want local gossip.
Our version is unusual but classy and I don't want to share my 'fucking nailed it this time' style.
I have sensed 'competitive purchasing' from this 'Shopping Friend' family in the past, they do it with others and pride themselves on their great 'taste'. It's not healthy and we have distanced ourselves from them.
The examples they gave with other friends were best car, slow cooker, bell tent, dog breed, cat breed, mug manufacturer. They take great pride in their purchasing and like to buy the 'best'. It will end up all over Instagram and I'll have to listen to mutual friends tell me I've bought one just like 'Shopping Friend'

So yabu - tell her, share the joy, it's just a thing for the garden
Yanbu - keep quiet, wallow in your mid life teen cool crisis, don't share the info, you win the best garden thing prize, don't share.

I started with yanbu but as you haven't shared what the unlikely to be actually outing item, I changed to YABU

Put a note on her social media 'before I forget, you asked where I got my XXX, it was from YYY but that was 3 yrs ago now'
Or just practice forgetfulness

Just tell her you can't remember.

Just say it was a gift and you don't know.

Is it a hot tub?

It’s from Gumtree.

"Oh, this? We picked it up on a little jaunt to the Sierra Madre where it was handcrafted by mountain goats."

Surely it's you that's the competitive purchaser OP by refusing to tell her so you can take the 'credit' (doubt anyone gives a shiny shit about some random garden object) and you who is bigging up (for some reason) that your 'shopping' is fantastic and you've nailed it and it looks great and classy etc , so therefore also you who thinks highly of themselves and wants to gloat over it and ensure nobody else can. Surely the unhealthy behaviours are also your own?

Probably best to blame lockdown for the whole debacle, tell her where you got it like a normal well balanced person and move on with your own life not overthinking the importance of getting credit from others about your purchases and worrying there will be 'local gossip' about it. I've literally never had a conversation like that.

Also on what planet does her not buying your DD a birthday present symbolise she has decided you aren't friends. It's very inconsequential and a bit grabby.

Hot tubs are frightfully common, don't you think?

Don't tell her, take it to your grave!

You sound as bad as each other.

I would also lie and say it was bespoke and made specially for me or, even better, shipped in from the US from a company which has since ceased to trade.

Completely understand your frustration. I have a friend just like that..used to come to ours often and would muse about the decor, even taking pictures! I visit her a few months later.. she would do her house very similarly.. it is nice she likes my style but I haven’t invited her back since.

It's hilarious that you think you'll be the talk of the local area, if anyone finds out what something you got 3 years ago cost 😂😂😂

I'd start watching for paps now op - gossip magazines may want to do a 'steal their style' section on your "fucking nailed it" taste!

@wobblewombat

Tell them B & M. 😁

😂 I'd love to know what this special item is.

We need to know what the item is

No one really gives a shiny shit whats in your garden OP. Yes I'm sure its nice but they arent going home and talking about your common garden object

Just tell her. Surely if you've had it 3 years anyone who sees it on Instagram and knows you well enough to give a shit will already have seen it in your garden?

Unreasonable not to tell us what it is! I want to judge your impeccable taste

I’m guessing a plastic pampas grass.

Wipe clean for those pesky over-exuberant garden party guests...

pixieland.co.uk/pixieland-products/made-to-order.html

There are other places where they will use a photo of a loved one and make a bespoke gnome .

😂 this is hilarious. Imagine getting all snooty and competitive over a bloody gnome.

Your not close friends, just tell your you looked it up and can't find where you bought it from.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.

Don’t tell her! If pressed, be vague- “oh gosh we looked in so many different places I can’t remember which one it was now, so sorry”

I don't want to share my 'fucking nailed it this time' style.

God, you sound unbearable.

Coincidence that THIS popped up on my Facebook feed just now?