Was I a Bully?

[Tiktokersmiracle]

Because that's what a GP surgery receptionist just called me.

We've been having a nightmare with shielding not being sorted and then arguments over my DPs place in the Vaccine queue.

My Ds was born very early and has lung conditions amongst other things as a result. One of the conditions is something that you can manage very carefully but he won't grow out of. However, he wasn't put in shielding so we had threats from our local authority that if we didn't provide a shielding letter, he had to be in school or they would dereg him. This will probably happen again in March.

When I queried the GP said they had a letter saying he had "grown out" of his condition- I've since raised this with the consultant who has said categorically this letter does not exist. They have been asked for a copy by me and the consultant but have yet to Hand it over.

Anyway, the Vaccine

DP has a degenerative lung condition. The twat didn't even tell me for two years, I heard it from his Dsis. He is pretty shit at anything medical, typical male.

It's been 5 years since diagnosis and the GP has done nothing. So before covid I chased up about referrals and medications but obviously, this was then put on hold due to covid.

I looked up the online "when should you get the vaccine" and his came up for beginning of February due to age (50s) and his condition. I called, to be told no, he is level 9. They had disregarded his condition as he isn't under a consultant, but that's down to them doing sweet FA on diagnosis.

So I've been back and forth arguing over it.

It's now come to light that actually, we should be higher up the list because our DS has DLA high rate care. This is not easy to apply and be awarded, it takes months of evidence and letters. You can't just rock up to the DWP and get it.

So I called today as the practice manager was meant to call me earlier this week anyway.

I politely explained to the receptionist who got quite flustered, I said, look I know you must be getting calls but I'm concerned that DS and DPs records are incorrect and as a result they are being put at risk.

She then called me a bully and said I couldn't bully my way to jumping the queue!

She then put the phone down.

Yes, we do need to change surgery but our trust has said we can't because we have a surgery and they are only allowing people without a surgery to sign up to a new one. So we are stuck.

It's also been brought to my attention they had 7 year old out of date medication info for Ds so I doubt they've updated anything on him.

Was I bullying?
Should I just accept what I feel borders on medical negligence and wait?
I was really calm and polite, I always am because you have no choice but to speak to them and I know some can get the right arse and make things awkward.

@wewillmeetagain

I don't understand why you would think that high rate care DLA would qualify you for being moved quicker up the list?

It's as an unpaid carer. I actually first saw someone on here mention it. Then I had to speak to DS' allergy team as school wanted to find out if he was safe to have his HPV vaccine due to his list of allergies and I said "well at least that's one injection that's straight forward", he's seen the lady there for a while now and she knows he has other health issues, she's as amazing as his consultant and consultants secretary actually, and so asked what I meant. I mentioned about the covid Vaccine and DP and she said, "hold on you did get his DLA renewed right"- it came up for renew at the end of last year and we were awarded it again in January, I had to provide letters from them so she was aware of it- I said yes we did. She then confirmed that meant we are eligible for the Vaccine under the carers list which is being done now.

As someone who knows a lot of boring GP contractual information...I’m not going to comment on whether you were bullying or whether your partner and son are entitled to the vaccine. But you are entitled to move GP practice and the info you were given about only taking patients who don’t already have a GP is wrong. If you live in the catchment area of a GP practice then they have to register you - it’s in their contract. They are allowed to “cap” their list (refuse new registrations) under exceptional circumstances, but even then the CCG can allocate you to another practice (ie insist that they take you).

I don’t know who told you they couldn’t register you - if it was the GP practice then they’re wrong, and if it was the CCG then it’s possible the list is capped, but if you tell them your relationship has broken down with your practice then they should allocate you.

Unless you’re somewhere very rural with only one practice for miles?

Oh I just saw your last post. The unpaid carers eligibility is hugely confusing. In the area where I work the GP practices aren’t calling carers for their vaccine and have been told that the council will identify who these people are. The info around cohort 6 changes all the time though. It’s a bit of a shitshow.

I reckon you need to create a FAQ for your thread, OP! Never mind the receptionist - you've been fabulously patient here.

Op the reason I don't understand is because i also have a child with high rate dla and ive been told im not eligible yet.

You must feel like banging your head against a brick wall x

If your son is in receipt of higher rate DLA (and I assume lives with you and your DP) then you are both his unpaid carers and are in vaccine group 6. Most surgeries are sending invites to this group at the moment. Get in touch with your surgery and tell them you want a carers flag put on your notes. Go to the Contact website (charity for families with children with a disability) for a copy of the information you need to send your surgery if they remain resistant to their obligations.

@ConquestEmpireHungerPlague

I reckon you need to create a FAQ for your thread, OP! Never mind the receptionist - you've been fabulously patient here.

Thank you

Hopefully that shows I was very patient when dealing with a flustered gp receptionist

For the poster who asked about the cap on surgery changes, it's because we are a small village but we also have cheap student accommodation and 2 surgeries so apparently they said they wanted to make sure they had spaces for students and they also have a GP shortage as well. So who knows.

@Loopsisroundthetwist

If your son is in receipt of higher rate DLA (and I assume lives with you and your DP) then you are both his unpaid carers and are in vaccine group 6. Most surgeries are sending invites to this group at the moment. Get in touch with your surgery and tell them you want a carers flag put on your notes. Go to the Contact website (charity for families with children with a disability) for a copy of the information you need to send your surgery if they remain resistant to their obligations.

That's what I was trying to do, as I say it has to go through the practice manager so you have to call and leave a message. I think I will be suggesting to her when she calls me back that that system right now is really crappy and it causes the receptionist who is probably about to take early retirement undue stress so it may be worthwhile having it available or a contact us bit on their website. They should know we get DLA because it's literally just been renewed, and the DWP called up school to speak to one on one of our evidence givers and told her they were going to just finalise the info from the GP and consultants. So I would imagine they were contacted in January. It's definitely an admin issue at the heart of it.

I’m not sure anyone on here can really know how nice you may or may not have been OP. I recall my MIL telling her friend how awful Sky were a few years back and that she phoned them and they were so rude to her and she was so polite. I had to keep quiet because I was sat in the same room as she made that call and she was patronising and condescending to say the least and I saw her in a new light! I’m not saying you were rude or aggressive, only you and the receptionist knows that, but Mumsnet can say you were very reasonable but it’s based on one half of a version. We don’t know.

No you weren’t a bully.
Receptionist is out of line

As the mother to two children with various health conditions.. You are your familys advocate, sometimes you need to make noise, you don't have to be rude but persistence is a must.. You are totally not a bully. Keep standing up for your family 🤜💪

Meant I am mother to two children etc my fat thumbs doh 😂

I called, to be told no, he is level 9. They had disregarded his condition as he isn't under a consultant, but that's down to them doing sweet FA on diagnosis.

Unless you are referred by your GP you will be in your age group. You’ve also said your husband hasn’t bothered about it so not just down to the GP.