AIBU to limit my 11yr old son’s gaming time per day?

[MBDBBB]

He gets 1.5 hrs per day at weekends at half an hour in the week. He is adamant that his friends get more time than he does. I’d be interested to know what other people’s limits are to see if we’re being overly strict or overly generous! He plays mostly fortnite, super mario and minecraft.

Half an hour's a bit rubbish, especially in the current climate. He'd be no sooner started than he'd have to come off again.
As long as the homeschooling gets done, I'm not losing sleep over stuff like this.

I think its fine. Gaming should be limited, especially games like Fortnite.

Nearly 11yo DS doesn't have limits. His life limits it for him.

He's at school 8am- 5.30pm then has prep. When he's not locked down he has sport all weekend at least 2/4 weekends.

The rest of the time, he can do what he likes.

yeah, i agree with PP that 30 mins isn't long enough to get going -- especiually if he's waiting for friends to join him and they end up being 5-10 mins late! If you really want to keep his time as low as it is, why not do 1hr 3x a week on weekdays and 3 hours to use as he prefers over the weekend?

I would say yabu in the lockdown. Even in normal times I'd say one hour weekdays and 3 hours weekend, but that's just me. I'd think more about - do they still do other stuff, do they seem happy, are they a bit obsessed with gaming so have forgotten other enjoyable things, do we still have time to chat and do stuff together??? So more looking at the big picture rather than imposing very strict times.

I am limiting time but it's not a set time like 1 hrs it all depends on what is happening that day. If school work is done and we have been out for a walk or he has been out playing for a bit on his bike/scooter etc then I'm more relaxed about the amount of time he can have. Also if it's terrible weather he can have more. However the xbox is in the living room so he doesn't get to sit on it for hrs as the tv needs shared

I don't think all children need limits on their game/screen time but appreciate that many do.

Even then, your particular restrictions seem very tight and probably strip most of the enjoyment out of playing during the week. Unreasonable restrictions like that are probably more likely to cause unwanted behaviour than gaming is.

Half an hour is nothing. Why are you concerned about limiting it? There's not an awful lot else to do at the moment.

I think outside school hours at present 30 mins a bit mean as that is his way of keeping up with his mates

It's totally fine. Not gaming more will do zero to harm him. There are actually plenty of other things to do, even in the house.

Gaming issues in teens and young adults are on the increase and can be really serious, and one of the best ways to make that less likely is to limit access in kids and teens.

Ok thanks. It’s hard to gauge at the moment because his usual activities are so limited but I guess we don’t want him to become reliant on playing games. his interest in sport and being outside has dwindled. I think I’m more lenient than DH. He thinks he should have a totally tech-free day per week and he doesn’t like him gaming. I can see the positives in it, particularly atm, but it causes arguments!

As others have said, I think you're being a bit harsh especially at the moment when gaming is a way of keeping in touch with friends. In normal times my 11 yo doesn't play every day during the week - usually 3 days a week for 1-2 hours depending on homework and activities, then a bit longer at the weekend depending on what else we're doing.
At the moment, he's allowed to play for a couple of hours a day as long as there's a balance with getting outdoors and doing other things that aren't on a screen.

I’m mostly interested to hear what limits other people impose.

@SmokedDuck

It's totally fine. Not gaming more will do zero to harm him. There are actually plenty of other things to do, even in the house.

Gaming issues in teens and young adults are on the increase and can be really serious, and one of the best ways to make that less likely is to limit access in kids and teens.

I think this is probably in line with our thinking

I do think that’s harsh.

We removed screen time limits for our DC during lockdown but they’re older (15-18). They still go out walking and do daily exercise on top and they don’t spend all day at a screen.

30 minutes is so little! I couldn’t do much at all in 30 minutes, I spend an hour minimum on a game or none at all because it wouldn’t be worth it.

No limits here but, if DC weren't able to regulate themselves, I'd say 1.5 - 2 hours per day in the week, and 4 - 6 on the weekend (in normal times). Obviously school work and chores would need to be prioritized.

With lockdown I'd loosen the above.

I'd be far more likely to limit certain types of games (like Fortnight) in favour of others, rather than limit game time altogether.

I’m mostly interested to hear what limits other people impose
No consoles at all during the week. Older two have Minecraft on ipads and it's limited to one hour a day. When it times out they're done. We have a Switch we play stuff like Mario Kart and Animal Crossing on at weekends as a family.

In normal times nothing during the week and 2 hours per day of screen time on the weekend. In lockdown 2 hours each day of screen time.

We do none in the week and 2 hours on Sat and Sun. 30 mins seems worse than nothing really - could you maybe do a weekday budget that can be used up?

I've said yabu for a couple of reasons.
Other activities are so restricted at the moment.
My ds (12) socialises with his friends on Minecraft, so at least some interaction with his mates
This term has been tough, home schooling and poor weather has left some children stressed, and being a bit less prescriptive seems fair. Half term is their holiday to do what they wish, within reason.

My ds typically plays for four or five hours a day, as long as he joins us for meals, exercises outside (cycling,walking etc) for at least an hour a day and logs off by 9pm.

Next week he'll be back to 5 hours a day on-line schooling plus homework.

@Zevia

No limits here but, if DC weren't able to regulate themselves, I'd say 1.5 - 2 hours per day in the week, and 4 - 6 on the weekend (in normal times). Obviously school work and chores would need to be prioritized.

With lockdown I'd loosen the above.

I'd be far more likely to limit certain types of games (like Fortnight) in favour of others, rather than limit game time altogether.

6 hours a day seems an awful lot though?

A different way of looking at it might be to impose what else has to be done before gaming is accessible.

All school work done, an hour of exercise, some reading, any jobs he has to do round the house like his own laundry and a round of washing-up. Then he can use any time left over as he likes?

Usually here it's on weekends only and limited to a couple of hours, could go back on after we've been out for an hour maybe but a big no to on school days.

In lockdown they go on daily after school work for 2 hours and for ages at weekends.
As its half term they could easily be on it 6 hours + and I feel sick about it but I understand that it's lockdown and naff all else to do, also they're on it speaking with their friends so I know its not just mine on it for excessive amounts of time.
Yesterday I banned it all day as I do know its getting too much and I find an outright ban is easier to enforce than trying to get them off once on. Today they've been on all day though

I do think your limits are a bit harsh, especially in the current climate and whilst I wouldn't expect you to go to the extent that mine are on it because it is awful I wonder if you could negotiate with your son some more time, I do think 30mins is pointless. You could give him more time and make it very clear that it's only for the lockdown period and normal rules resume when lockdown eases.
It is a good way for them to keep in contact with their friends and not become isolated.

I've got not no limits at the moment during a lockdown half term.

Normal pre COVID it was a blanket ban from Sunday afternoon to Friday after school and they can do what they want at weekends within reason but they had riding, gym and seeing friends / family to break it up.

During homeschool they can go on their devices when all the work is done as I need to get on with my work. They're 10.

It's totally fine. Not gaming more will do zero to harm him. There are actually plenty of other things to do, even in the house.

There’s plenty else to do but this is the only social interaction they’re getting atm.

Couple of hours during the week. Half an hour is no time at all and probably more frustrating than no gaming, especially if they’re involved in a project in minecraft or similar. I don’t allow fortnite at all though