AIBU to limit my 11yr old son’s gaming time per day?

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He gets 1.5 hrs per day at weekends at half an hour in the week. He is adamant that his friends get more time than he does. I’d be interested to know what other people’s limits are to see if we’re being overly strict or overly generous! He plays mostly fortnite, super mario and minecraft.

Ok do you think 6 hours at school is same as 6 hours of gaming.
No I dont, but I wasnt the poster that suggested that.

But do I think gaming can be extremely educational and otherwise beneficial? Absolutely. I played a lot of straight-up educational games when in early school, which I enjoyed because they were more challenging and advanced than schoolwork which I found to be easy.

Gaming also encouraged me to self-teach the basics of programming (I made a couple of games and programmed a real-life robot to find it's way around mazes) and website design. It massively improved my typing and my hand-eye coordination (I went from being quite an uncoordinated child to being able to juggle to a good standard) and it ultimately inspired my legal career.

It's also surprising the little bits and pieces you pick up - I remember shocking a teacher with my apparent knowledge of Ancient Greek after picking up a few words from a fairly casual game.

Gaming has also improved since I was a child - cant help but wonder what I'd have done with Minecraft.

8 year old gets two lots of 45 minutes on their games over the day, during the week. This increases on the weekend to maybe 2-3 hours. Needs reminders to do other things first before asking such as reading, colouring, playing outside etc if we aren't busy

11 year old has 1-2 hours per day, more like 4 at a weekend. Mostly remembers to do all other activities first...

14 year old self regulates. So long as they can get up in the morning, it's no issue for us. They are a dedicated student and work / activities are their own first priority.

DS (11) gets 2 hours on a Saturday if he gets 14 points during the week. He gets one point each for homework, sport and reading. If he gets three points on a Saturday he can have 2 hours on Sunday.
If he gets 2 points in a day, then he can have 1 hour of tv after 530pm (because he reads last thing at night usually). No gaming during the week.

Holidays, I’m more relaxed. 2 hours a day if he’s been out for at least 30 mins, played with Lego/whatever for at least 30 mins and done something sensible (craft/drawing/workbook/reading etc) for at least 30 mins.

Yes, all his friends are online. That’s where they are socialising - playing, but also hanging out and having a laugh.

Mine are older and i don't have limits now ( 15/17) although they have school /college work and sleep a lot so naturally limited.
In normal times they are both veey sporty so may be on 4 hrs one day , then 1 hr next etc.
Its only way they keep in touch with friends as well.
But at 11 prob had 1 hr ish school nights and 2-3 at weekend, more if it rained etc

I would say 1 hour weekdays
2 hours weekend and school holidays

Maybe he can earn extra time in half hour slots as it were

How i look at it if not on a game would be watching tv so whats the difference its still a screen. Normal times mine are out doing sports , they can't do that, they don't overly enjoy reading ( loads do on ipad anyway ) they both do all their school work , get some exercise , walk the dog , do their chores so what else can they do at moment

Playing online with friends especially if chatting is largely playing shared interest with mates surely

Hard to argue against when you look at it like that
ESPECIALLY when they can’t just meet up
We have screen time from 4pm which allows for the rest of life to happen earlier in the day so everyone still gets out for fresh air, does school work, reads, bakes or whatever they want but in holidays it can be other times too

PresumableyDH is providing lots of opportunities for outdoor stuff and encouraging varied interests, playing board games with and reading to DC, watching films or cooking with DC?

Also DH is leading by example and not a on his phone all the time?

How is DH supporting DC social life at the moment?

At the minute with lockdown my four have no limits (age 16,13,9&6). They all regulate with no issues, some days they play a lot more than others but at the minute when there is not much else to do I don’t have an issue with it.
At this very minute my 16 year old is out walking with friends, my 13 year old is playing Minecraft with his friend on FaceTime and my 9&6 year olds are playing Mario together on their switches.

@zevia only reason my ds1 learnt to read because I refused to read his lego starwars game stories anymore , and yes some of things mine have come out with over the years I have wondered where they have got it from and its been a game.
In r/l I know more who have less restrictions than do, we used to play cluedo and stuff for hrs, times change and kids play consols instead, sure I would of as well but we only had a commodore 64 with 2 games so a little boring.
In our house we have a mix , they do a lot of sport but downtime for them is gaming

We do none during the school week and 3 hours each day on the weekend. School holidays time is negotiated depending on what is going on. He is 13.
We aren't it lockdown here, keeping in mind your son probably socialises and chats to his mates, perhaps an hour after homeschooling wouldn't hurt.

IMO 30 mins limit is a bit unnecessarily officious. As others have mentioned, other things will naturally limit the time spent gaming. Going to school, home schooling, homework, exercise, etc so with those things they can't sit playing games all day anyway. Gaming isn't the devil's work - it's more engaging and skill-based than watching telly for a start.

I try keep mine off any gaming till at least 3pm.
We are either out on our walks or there playing or even watching a film.
They can then game till tea time which is normally 5-5.30.

I am anti tech for myself and my kids. I just think it’s addictive and much better to go outside, read a book, play, or even just be bored. A lot of parents delude themselves that screens aren’t too bad because it’s so much easier to just let the kids do it. Mine have 30 minutes of tv twice a week. That’s it: no gaming, iPad etc

I think with things so restricted at the moment that half an hour a day in the week is harsh.
My son uses it to communicate with his friends too it isn't just about gaming, it's a way of socialising.
For half term he gets more time gaming but he has to exercise every day and spend some time off of it.
On homeschool days he isn't allowed on until after 3, some days he has longer then others.
We don't have it set in stone.

@Janeteapot

I am anti tech for myself and my kids. I just think it’s addictive and much better to go outside, read a book, play, or even just be bored. A lot of parents delude themselves that screens aren’t too bad because it’s so much easier to just let the kids do it. Mine have 30 minutes of tv twice a week. That’s it: no gaming, iPad etc

How old are they?

If you are 'anti-tech' how are you working and how are your kids accessing remote learning and why are you on mumsnet? Or do you just mean anti-screens as a down-time activity?

Jesus that’s a bit mean! As long as his school work is done and whatever else is expected of him is done then what’s the harm giving him a bit longer? He can’t see his friends, he can’t go out anywhere so why can’t he? By the time he starts his game it’s time to come off it. I don’t think your being very fair at all. My brother was a massive gamer, he’s now got many qualifications and earns a 6 figure salary. Gaming isn’t this big negative thing parents are making it out to be.

No limits here, would only worry about it if schoolwork / homework wasn't being done, chores were not done and every other activity was not bothered with. My DC help around the house, cook occasionally and we do things as a family regularly. I wouldn't be very happy if I did a full days work, did the household jobs I needed to do and was then told I couldn't use my free time to catch up on trashy tv so I don't see why parents would do that to teens, they need down time too.

We had similar worries with DS. It's a losing battle. He's now in his 3rd year of an MEng in computer science and on for a 1st. He's also an electronic dance music composer and producer. If he's doing what he needs to do, then pick your battles.

Mine are a lot younger and get two hours a day through week and trying to limit to three hours a day over the weekend. Can sometimes be more though. They also go out lots for bike rides ect but once home there isn't much to do.

Normally without covid
My ds has school, rugby, polo and air cadets.
Homework other than this he does what he pleases with his time.

I think you're being too strict in the current circumstances. Half an hour is barely time to get started so it is probably causing him unnecessary frustration only allowing that.

Ours are having much more screen time that normal, but they know it's not going to carry on forever. We don't mind at the moment because that is how they are socialising. They are chatting with friends whilst playing online games with them, and at least an hour is realistic, although I'm not keeping tabs. It's lovely hearing them laughing and talking with friends. Normal term time is self limiting anyway, they are allowed a bit longer on a weekend.

They are expected to come out for a decent walk every day, help with our animals, do certain chores and schoolwork/homework comes first.