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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to limit my 11yr old son’s gaming time per day?

123 replies

MBDBBB · 18/02/2021 17:10

He gets 1.5 hrs per day at weekends at half an hour in the week. He is adamant that his friends get more time than he does. I’d be interested to know what other people’s limits are to see if we’re being overly strict or overly generous! He plays mostly fortnite, super mario and minecraft.

OP posts:
Chewingle · 18/02/2021 18:04

@Zevia

6hours is too much of anything other than sleep. Would it be too much time reading, playing a sport or a musical instrument, or playing with non-electronic toys?
In a day, for two days straight - yes
Chewingle · 18/02/2021 18:04

Particularly one that involves sitting on your bum gazing at a screen.

Feelingconfused2020 · 18/02/2021 18:05

My 10 year old has an hour a day with one weekday completely off. He has 2 hrs sat/sun. He did have less before lockdown but there's so little else to do! I don't think gaming in itself is bad of they have other things in their life but are you sure Fortnite is ok for him. I'd worry more about the violent content than the amount of time. I notice a change in my DS when he has played certain games but maybe not all kids react the same.

I know other parents will flame me for saying that but it is recommended for 13+

Thehawki · 18/02/2021 18:06

Half an hour of gaming is pretty much pointless particularly in these times, why not say an hour for four weekdays and one tech free day? Then 2 hours at the weekend so that he can get a good session in with his friends? It’s really hard for kids to interact with each other at the moment and it’s probably mostly to speak to his friends right now.

Snowwaiting · 18/02/2021 18:08

30 minutes isn’t long enough to get into a game or to meet friends to play .

We have some loose rules - no screen before about 4pm and my sons have to take turns using the PS4 - they like about 1.5 hours each . It’s normally from about 4 till tea time . One of them likes aircraft simulators and while spend hours on them but bores after about an hour of fortnite . The other mostly plays for the social side .

I spend more time ensuring they’re getting out and active walking and running and doing other activities like baking and crafts rather than being very strict about time limits . It’s a balance . When normal sports and seeing friends resume there will be a lot less time gaming

reefedsail · 18/02/2021 18:09

@Chewingle so if a kid was at a training camp and did their sport 6hrs a day for 5 days, that would also be terrible?

What about school? They go there for at least 6hrs and sit on their bum gazing at the front of class for the majority of that.

I'm not arguing for 6 hrs of gaming, but I don't think your statement holds water.

AprilThe8th · 18/02/2021 18:09

Ds has no console during the week and 4hr at the weekends

Original poster
MBDBBB · 18/02/2021 18:12

This is all really useful, thank you. DH, DS and I have chatted about it and decided that provided he’s spent at least an hour outside/exercising, done his household jobs and his school work he can have more time. I asked him what he thought was reasonable and he’s said an hour on a school day, 2 hours any other day. To be fair I don’t think that seems too bad so prepared to agree.

OP posts:
sonnysunshine · 18/02/2021 18:13

100% limit it.
But I would have two screen free days a week and allow an hour and a half on other days. Screen free days work brilliantky as it let's them think about doing other things without having their brains slightly wired in gaming mode. Half an hour is too short. Upping it on the screen days let them get into gaming properly and relax.

Mummyoflittledragon · 18/02/2021 18:13

My 12 yo dd doesn’t have limits due to lockdown. She’s spending a lot of time on it or FaceTime etc. But also out for a couple of hours with a friend daily. I’d rather not limit meeting friends when outside even though it’s the law. Kids need to see their friends.

Ding123 · 18/02/2021 18:14

To me it depends on the amount of screen time in total. Pre lockdown Dc 11 and 8 played online for 3 hours on both Saturday and Sunday, and 1 hour on a Thursday evening. Limited TV during the week, a bit of Youtube perhaps and a family film on Friday night. All ipads and laptops in family room.

With lockdown screen time has massively increased, particularly because all school work is done online. For my sanity and theirs, they have way more screen time than I'd like. TV tends to stay on all day, Thursday gaming has increased to 3 hours instead of 1. They mostly play Roblox and Brawlstars. I have an ancient wii which occasionally gets turned on but otherwise they don't have a console.

aLilNonnyMouse · 18/02/2021 18:16

A single fortnite match takes 20 mins, so having 30 mins time means he could only actually play one full round. An hour time gives him enough for 3 matches which would feel much more like he'd had a decent time playing.

Original poster
MBDBBB · 18/02/2021 18:17

@Feelingconfused2020

My 10 year old has an hour a day with one weekday completely off. He has 2 hrs sat/sun. He did have less before lockdown but there's so little else to do! I don't think gaming in itself is bad of they have other things in their life but are you sure Fortnite is ok for him. I'd worry more about the violent content than the amount of time. I notice a change in my DS when he has played certain games but maybe not all kids react the same.

I know other parents will flame me for saying that but it is recommended for 13+

I did have some concerns re fortnite but actually seeing it in action I’m not enormously worried about it tbh.
OP posts:
Chewingle · 18/02/2021 18:17

[quote reefedsail]@Chewingle so if a kid was at a training camp and did their sport 6hrs a day for 5 days, that would also be terrible?

What about school? They go there for at least 6hrs and sit on their bum gazing at the front of class for the majority of that.

I'm not arguing for 6 hrs of gaming, but I don't think your statement holds water.[/quote]
You’re using school as an example?!

FoxyTheFox · 18/02/2021 18:18

Now you've gone and done it @aLilNonnyMouse! You'll get all the posts telling you how evil Fortnite is Grin

FoxyTheFox · 18/02/2021 18:20

You’re using school as an example?!

Why not? DS uses a Chromebook in every lesson at school that involves any writing and the school reading scheme is online so uses it whenever he needs his reading book too, he is looking at a screen for the majority of day.

Original poster
MBDBBB · 18/02/2021 18:23

@Ding123

To me it depends on the amount of screen time in total. Pre lockdown Dc 11 and 8 played online for 3 hours on both Saturday and Sunday, and 1 hour on a Thursday evening. Limited TV during the week, a bit of Youtube perhaps and a family film on Friday night. All ipads and laptops in family room.

With lockdown screen time has massively increased, particularly because all school work is done online. For my sanity and theirs, they have way more screen time than I'd like. TV tends to stay on all day, Thursday gaming has increased to 3 hours instead of 1. They mostly play Roblox and Brawlstars. I have an ancient wii which occasionally gets turned on but otherwise they don't have a console.

They have live online lessons from 8.45 until 12, then from 1-3 on a school day. They watch an hour of tv in the evening and an hour reading time in bed (he loves reading which is a saving grace!). Overall screentime is high atm but some of it completely unavoidable.
OP posts:
Chewingle · 18/02/2021 18:24

Yes but school is presumably filling their brain with information.

My children’s 6 hours involves geography, maths, history, art - I could go on and on!

Iggly · 18/02/2021 18:25

Our screen time limits are completely out of the window but we have a daily walk, I make the kids get up every now and then - including the odd burst of star jumping 😂

But in normal times - we have two hours at the weekend and about 1-1.5 hours after school (previously it was much less when they had after school clubs).

When they’re back at school it will cut down again. But it’s the only way they can speak to their friends daily.

reefedsail · 18/02/2021 18:26

@Chewingle you said that 6 hours of anything in one day would be too much. Anything.

Iggly · 18/02/2021 18:26

@Chewingle

Yes but school is presumably filling their brain with information.

My children’s 6 hours involves geography, maths, history, art - I could go on and on!

I disagree actually.

The problem with screen time - is the lack of physical movement. Same for TV, same for school. Kids do not get enough activity, school day or not. It’s terrible for our long term health.

Zevia · 18/02/2021 18:27

They watch an hour of tv in the evening
Is there any particular reason you're looser with TV restrictions than games? I'd have thought that playing Minecraft would be a much more beneficial activity than watching TV.

Dancingbea · 18/02/2021 18:27

How else do they connect with their friends? I think we all fail to recognise gaming as a social activity, in a way it wasn’t when we were young. YABU in the current climate.

reefedsail · 18/02/2021 18:27

@MBDBBB

This is all really useful, thank you. DH, DS and I have chatted about it and decided that provided he’s spent at least an hour outside/exercising, done his household jobs and his school work he can have more time. I asked him what he thought was reasonable and he’s said an hour on a school day, 2 hours any other day. To be fair I don’t think that seems too bad so prepared to agree.
This sounds like a great solution.
Original poster
MBDBBB · 18/02/2021 18:33

@Zevia

They watch an hour of tv in the evening Is there any particular reason you're looser with TV restrictions than games? I'd have thought that playing Minecraft would be a much more beneficial activity than watching TV.
Because he watches tv with his sister and they choose a programme each. Plus I think tv is a bit less stressful on the brain in general.
OP posts: