I offered my toddler a drink

[bridgetjones1]

And a full on tantrum ensued. Crying, throwing herself on the floor and generally distraught that I'd had the temerity to offer something so shocking!!

YABU - I am a terrible mother
YANBU - Toddlers are crazzzzzy

Obviously this is very light hearted. Hoping and praying that this is a short term phase and that her twin sister doesn't decide to follow suit

Anyone want to offer a hand hold or offer advice, equally baffling reasons for meltdowns would be appreciated

Dare, even

@Esspee - tantrums are developmentally typical in toddlers. I find it quite surprising that you have managed to raise such perfect children whilst being 'aghast' that your friend's child was acting in a developmentally typical way. You don't seem to know very much about basic child behaviour.

Some of these are brilliant. And I second the cutted up pear thread if you haven't read it

DD's effort this afternoon was because I folded up a box for the recycling. "Noooooo MY BOXY! BOXY MY FRIEND!" Was a bog-standard Amazon box, had been in the house about 25 minutes

I think a few people have mentioned cutted up pears but I'm not sure if anyone has posted the link. I love it.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1301196-If-my-3yo-had-access-to-AIBU

I feel your pain, OP, as I have twin toddler girls! Good on us for raising children who CAN explore expressions of emotion in a safe environment.
I think off @Esspee has fucked, luckily!

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?

I am long past being young, my dad's mum remembers very clearly the tantrums of her children, my parents remember and describe in detail my toddler tantrums, equally I have the same recollection of my own children's spectacular tantrums, my grandchildren can throw a mean tantrum - that's four generations stretching quite some way back so just go away with your so prevalent nowadays bollocks.

Sympathy, OP, there is no way you can understand the labyrinthian way a toddler mind works to produce such tantrums.

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?

Because, thankfully, they're not too scared or cowed to be seen or heard?

Or would you prefer "oh because we're just not so great a parent as you were?

I'd remember that if you had two boys a long time ago, some of the current parents will be young enough to be yours. So why is the generation you helped raise doing things so differently

One can only assume op that you are wrong because toddlers are reasonable and considered beings.

Perhaps it was - the wrong colour, shape, size, feel, wasn't as good as her twins, was better than her twins, wasn't it the right order to when you offered her twin one, you didn't offer her twin one, you did but she refused, the wind is blowing the wrong way, there's too many cups in the world, there's two few cups in the world, she wanted one off Daddy.

Toddlers love an audience If you walk out of the room they are defeated I find !!

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?

The answer must be that you're obviously a better mother than the rest of us.....

Esspee. Do you feel better now?

I still don't know why people post on here trying to make others feel bad.

You're supermum, o.k, and we're not. Happy?

@Esspee

I take on board that it may be selective memory but doubt it. I can clearly remember them being difficult little shits at times.

It may be how I define tantrums. I think meltdown, the kind of thing you sometimes see in, say, a supermarket when a child throws themselves on the floor and is inconsolable.

So I just managed to get through to one son who now has 2 children of his own. I have spent about 3 weeks a year living with them (4000m away). I have never seen either of them have a tantrum. Asked their father who says no, his two never had tantrums.

He puts it down to them having excellent language skills and being able to express themselves to adults.

So I wasn’t trying to upset anybody. I was simply wondering why a behaviour which was rare a generation ago seems to be accepted as normal nowadays.

Tantrums weren't rare a generation ago though? Like other posters have said tantrums are actually a very healthy sign that your toddler feels able to express themselves without fear. My LG would never tantrum at nursery, they think she's an angel but that's because she doesn't feel as relaxed with them as she does me so she saves it all up for when she gets home. She's by no means a nightmare who's constantly on the floor throwing a fit but she will have her moments when she feels frustrated (as we all do!!) She's learning. It isn't a generational difference and I do think you came on here to pass judgement which isn't kind.

I once asked a 3yr old who was dancing round the living room if she wanted me to put some music on for her to dance too. She threw herself to the floor and screamed for almost two hours lol

Haha, our 2 year old got cross with my husband because he couldn’t sit down and stand up at the same time.

And the classic of a biscuit breaking in half and not being able to stick it back together. Oh dear.

@56Skyla2005 so true. If i walked away from DC having a hissy fit because there was no reasoning with them, it resulted in the sound of their cry getting louder as they followed me. Obviously they had forgotten what they were upset about but needed to be acknowledged. The good thing about toddler tantrums is you can use diversion. Teenage girls however.....they have memories like an elephant.

Not read the full thread yet, but on Tuesday, my 2yr old had a full on meltdown that lasted about 25 mins is because we took the wrapper of the cake. We had the screaming crying rolling on the floor flinging himself onto the sofa

We have had more in the last couple of weeks so its safe to safe we have hit the terrible twos. My 6yr old was not like this

This makes me feel better about the fact that I clearly lost my mind earlier and opened the raisins box for DD.

check out

reasonsmysoniscrying.tumblr.com/

Its hilarious.

@lucylouz that's similar to now 9yo DD, she comes out of school happy and full of talk about her good day but by the time we have driven home she can be in full on rant about some perceived injustice that has happened at school but she's had to hold it in until she's in her safe place before she can let rip about the secret handshake 2 kids made up and didn't include her, or some such thing

DD1 age 3: Today is a very special day, it is the Big Red Bus day and we can pretend to be a big red bus.
Me: Ok.
DD1: (Tantrum, tears and the full works) I don’t want it to be a big red bus day. I don’t like that.
Me: Ok, well, we don’t have to do it.
DD1: (instantly cheers up) That’s good, I won’t then. (Trots off happily).

Nothing like getting in a state over something you’ve invented yourself..

When DS2 was about 3, DH and I were watching a movie hours after the kids had gone to bed. DH went to get a bottle of wine and found DS1 standing at the top of the stairs, howling piteously, snot and tears etc. He brought him downstairs and we calmed him down enough to tell us what was wrong. His answer:

"I am just so SO sad we have gone to bed"

DS2 (fucksake)

@Esspee

I take on board that it may be selective memory but doubt it. I can clearly remember them being difficult little shits at times.

It may be how I define tantrums. I think meltdown, the kind of thing you sometimes see in, say, a supermarket when a child throws themselves on the floor and is inconsolable.

So I just managed to get through to one son who now has 2 children of his own. I have spent about 3 weeks a year living with them (4000m away). I have never seen either of them have a tantrum. Asked their father who says no, his two never had tantrums.

He puts it down to them having excellent language skills and being able to express themselves to adults.

So I wasn’t trying to upset anybody. I was simply wondering why a behaviour which was rare a generation ago seems to be accepted as normal nowadays.

When you're in a hole, stop fucking digging.

Dd5 threw a strop tonight. Her bedroom was too bright with her nightlight. Ok I'll turn it off. No, now it's too dark! Ok how about nightlight on but eye mask on? No, not good enough.

I bloody give up 😂

[quote gingeristhenewblack43]@lucylouz that's similar to now 9yo DD, she comes out of school happy and full of talk about her good day but by the time we have driven home she can be in full on rant about some perceived injustice that has happened at school but she's had to hold it in until she's in her safe place before she can let rip about the secret handshake 2 kids made up and didn't include her, or some such thing[/quote]
Ohh I remember those days of secret handshakes and clicky friendship groups! Tbf it's even the case for me as an adult. Sometimes something can happen at work that will piss me off but nothing enough to make a thing of and I will come home to my OH and have a big moan which always makes me feel better! I don't go quite as far as throwing myself down on the floor and waving my arms and legs around but I won't lie there's been times I've felt like it