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Original poster

I offered my toddler a drink

468 replies

bridgetjones1 · 18/02/2021 15:47

And a full on tantrum ensued. Crying, throwing herself on the floor and generally distraught that I'd had the temerity to offer something so shocking!!

YABU - I am a terrible mother
YANBU - Toddlers are crazzzzzy

Obviously this is very light hearted. Hoping and praying that this is a short term phase and that her twin sister doesn't decide to follow suit Confused

Anyone want to offer a hand hold or offer advice, equally baffling reasons for meltdowns would be appreciated

OP posts:
PanamaPattie · 18/02/2021 19:28

I have many examples from my 4 DC - the ones that stand out -

DS1 crying because I wouldn't let him wear his wellies in bed.
DD1 told me that she hated me because I told her she couldn't be the colour pink.
DS2 having an epic meltdown because I had thrown his cold chips away. I was waiting for the right moment and I thought I had got away with it. Nope. He was obviously watching my every move.
DD2 throwing her meal at the dog because the tomato ketchup touched the peas.

Parent fail.

flappityflippers1 · 18/02/2021 19:30

When my DS (now 3) was 2, he had a full on crying, heart breaking, sobbing fit because he wanted cake. While eating cake.

He has also had crying fit because he was not a cat, an octopus, or a crab.

BrumBoo · 18/02/2021 19:32

@itsgettingwierd with all due respect, there's a huge difference between thinking you've been 'blessed' with a well-behaved child and what that previous poster was alluding to - that toddler tantrums are something odd, unnatural and suggests bad parenting. If a parent who has a child who hasn't had a tantrum even once, then they're lucky and generally is no reflection on child or parent. However, it's far more typical for a parent to have experienced one epic meltdown, and to put your own biological line down to just being super articulate for their abilities to control normal emotions is laughable at best.

PrincessBuggerPants · 18/02/2021 19:32

@Esspee A friend of mine has photographic evidence of her Grandmother having a MASSIVE wobbler.

It's pre-WWII.

Crankley · 18/02/2021 19:34

Visiting my sister's family in their new house, came down for breakfast to hear eldest niece screaming in horror at the dippy egg placed in front of her. Screaming 'Me no like, me no like' she ran into the hall and repeatedly bashed her head on the stone flooring (very old house). She was removed asap and my sister decided she would have to wear a hat indoors to stop her hurting herself. Cue more hysterical screaming and throwing the hat across the room. They eventually had thick underlay and carpet laid, cue more hysterics because she liked hitting her head on the stone.

What did she have for breakfast the next morning- a dippy egg of course. Grin

MartinAtAFuneral · 18/02/2021 19:39

God, I love toddlers.

They are completely surreal.

There were so many bonkers tantrums that they have all morphed into 'toddlers'. The only one I specifically remember was the one where I was a complete failure as a mother because I couldn't reach the sausages in the trees.

I'm sorry, @Esspee, that you didn't experience this

I have been a parent for more than some people on MN have been alive, and I still think the complete bonkerosity of toddlers is the absolute highlight of all these years. I'm looking forward to grandchildren just so they can be toddlers.

Funnily, my DM also liked toddlers, and was only really interested in my children when they were that age. I can see why, now!

Shinyletsbebadguys · 18/02/2021 19:49

Absolute rubbish that its more prevalent there is a family story where my aunt threw a giant reasonably legitimate tantrum after the chicken she had been given by my gf turned out actually to be turkey which she had insisted she hated and had been eating unknowingly every christmas day for 3 years. She is now 74. My GP were particularly strict but tantrums still occurred.

It didn't cause a tantrum because ds2 is 5 (and has a healthy fear of his DVD being confiscated) but he was truly distressed to discover that no we couldn't fly to China that night. Just to be clear we can in no way or possibly ever afford to fly to china. We have never flown to china. In fact we had not even suggested even a dog walk . But because dp had a plane ticket to glasgow from a recent work trip ds2 could not understand why we could not use it to fly to china ... immediately.

It fell short of an actual tantrum but he seriously considered trying it (and sulked for hours whilst occasionally performance glowering at me).

I am a terrible mother , not popping him over to china . I shall never forgive myself obviously.

KindofAwakeTonight · 18/02/2021 19:50

DS1 once threw a tantrum because he wasn't tall enough to reach the table. So I lifted him up - no, no no! He wanted to reach it by himself. I must be a bad mother as I couldn't make him instantly taller. Grin

(He's now in his 30's).

rach2713 · 18/02/2021 19:51

@bridgetjones1 I feel your pain I have a 2 year old who does the same even tho she has picked her cup and the juice she wants still has a full blown tantrum because its wrong. She has now decided she needs 4 dummies for bed one in the mouth and the others to hold if she doesn't its blue murder...

oblada · 18/02/2021 19:53

My first daughter didn't have tantrums but her sister made up for it.
She's scream because it was dark when I picked her up from nursery (in the middle of winter). She screamed once because she wanted to fly a kite - we didn't have a kite and I needed her to go to nursery so that I could go to work!
Toddlers are mad!

HavelockVetinari · 18/02/2021 19:54

@KitKat1985

I once cut DD's sandwiches into squares rather than triangles. Paid heavily for that one.

@Esspee ODFOD.

You MONSTER! Shock
TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet · 18/02/2021 19:55

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?
Really? Because I’m 32 and have photos of me as a toddler having the screaming ab dabs because my mum offered me a blue spoon instead of a red one.
ememem84 · 18/02/2021 19:56

@1WayOrAnother2

Impossible and amazing toddlers!

We were caught unprepared for a sudden summer storm.

Hurrying back home with toddler (on DH's shoulders) she began to cry because it was raining on her.

DH was amazed that when I gave each of us an imaginary umbrella, the crying stopped.

It started again 10mins later - not because she was still getting wet but because she wanted the pink imaginary umbrella I had, rather than the yellow imaginary one she had! :)

Love this!!!
SnugglySnerd · 18/02/2021 19:58

To be fair op you can't win with twins. If we give ours both the same 2 identical items they will still want the same one!

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 18/02/2021 20:00

My 2 year old has just had a belter. Getting ready for bed, she realises that the tiny scratch on her foot has healed and disappeared. Much mournful wailing for the sad departure of the ouchie ensued. She then squeezed her own toe so much it made her cry. She then complained her toe hurt so I helped her let it go, which resulted in more tears as she apparently likes ouchie toes.

Original poster
bridgetjones1 · 18/02/2021 20:00

[quote rach2713]@bridgetjones1 I feel your pain I have a 2 year old who does the same even tho she has picked her cup and the juice she wants still has a full blown tantrum because its wrong. She has now decided she needs 4 dummies for bed one in the mouth and the others to hold if she doesn't its blue murder...[/quote]
Oh my god the multiple dummies at bedtime 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Exactly the same here, if she wakes up in the night and hasn’t got the required amount of dummies, or if they have fallen on the floor, she’ll stand up, dummy in mouth & 1 in hand, crying and pointing at the floor. She also has a Dolly who she is obsessed with. We have to ration it at the moment as she becomes consumed by it.

OP posts:
Poppins2016 · 18/02/2021 20:03

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?
You're either trying to wind us up (in which case, well done) or you were very lucky (in which case, count your blessings but please don't judge everyone else)!

Tantrums (or at the very least, frustration) are a very normal stage of child development. Nothing to judge parents for!

ChampionOfTheSun · 18/02/2021 20:04

I had similar today, 13mo DD gave me her empty cup and said "more" I stood up and a full on tantrum ensued, she threw herself on the floor crying because I went to fill her cup up. The cup that she ASKED me to fill. I am the worst Grin

Serin · 18/02/2021 20:04

My cousin at 3 was the worlds worst tantrummer.
He would also bang his head into the wall for the smallest incident, like it was raining.
He is now a human rights lawyer for the UN Grin
They do grow out if it.

IHaveBrilloHair · 18/02/2021 20:05

I had a dummy baby/toddler too with a dolly who is actually a Monkey.
We still have Monkey and Dd is 19, she has outgrown the dummies though!

itsgettingwierd · 18/02/2021 20:05

[quote BrumBoo]@itsgettingwierd with all due respect, there's a huge difference between thinking you've been 'blessed' with a well-behaved child and what that previous poster was alluding to - that toddler tantrums are something odd, unnatural and suggests bad parenting. If a parent who has a child who hasn't had a tantrum even once, then they're lucky and generally is no reflection on child or parent. However, it's far more typical for a parent to have experienced one epic meltdown, and to put your own biological line down to just being super articulate for their abilities to control normal emotions is laughable at best.[/quote]
But that's NOT what I'm saying.

I'm asking people stop saying children who don't have tantrums is because it's because they aren't secure etc etc.

It's very very harmful to the parents of these children who are judged negatively for their children's personalities. Or my ds case his disability.

It was hard enough raising a passive child which alienated me at one group because everyone wanted him to do something naughty without people always thinking a quiet passive child is due to lack of attachement or being secure.

I'm simply asking to stop the comments when calling out sanctimonious twats who make stupid comments about tantrums being parenting about it being because a child is secure.

It's really not that hard to understand 🙄

SheilaTheThief · 18/02/2021 20:05

My 2.5 year old sobbed before bedtime because he didn’t have a captain America pillow case like his dad does (his dad doesn’t though Hmm)

mumwon · 18/02/2021 20:08

@Esspee
really congratulations (NOT!) Its the luck of the draw - some dc tantrum a lot (tired, "h"angry, communication, frustration, whatever, high iq lower iq , whatever -no reason why) they grow out of it & some dm have poor memories Hmm, tantrums were always there & always will be no increase or decrease!
Some placid dc grow into monster adolescence some tantrum types grow into placid children & adult s
I have never judged - & have always felt sympathetic to poor dm in supermarket or out when their dc has a major melt down (& had the overwhelming gratitude that it wasn't me!!! (Because been there done that got the t shirt!)

PeterPandemic · 18/02/2021 20:09

Mine have had some absolute classics.

Because he wanted each finger to have a hula hoop on it, and also to eat the hula hoops off of his fingers, and yet also to not have me touch the hula hoops to replace them.

Because his friend was looking out of his car window.

Because his pet potato went rotten. Then the replacement melon also went rotten. Then the replacement melon also went rotten.

Because he took his pet rock to the beach and then lost it.

Mittens030869 · 18/02/2021 20:11

** Esspee
I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums.
I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast.
Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?**

That’s rose-tinted glasses, sorry. I see that with my DM when she waxes lyrical about ‘her three’ (my siblings and me). I was there and I know we weren’t as well behaved as she says.

Besides, if what she remembers were true, why were we smacked so often??