I offered my toddler a drink

[bridgetjones1]

And a full on tantrum ensued. Crying, throwing herself on the floor and generally distraught that I'd had the temerity to offer something so shocking!!

YABU - I am a terrible mother
YANBU - Toddlers are crazzzzzy

Obviously this is very light hearted. Hoping and praying that this is a short term phase and that her twin sister doesn't decide to follow suit

Anyone want to offer a hand hold or offer advice, equally baffling reasons for meltdowns would be appreciated

I actually remember having a tantrum myself. I was probably about 5, so a bit old for it.

I was told that we were going to the supermarket. Inside the supermarket was one of these little ice cream shops that sold about 30 different flavours, and for some reason I got it in my head that today I would have one. I spent ages daydreaming about looking at the different flavours, picking one, and what it might taste like. It became totally real in my mind.

Of course I was told no. No ice cream. It was expensive. I offered to pay with my pocket money (probably 50p a week or something at that point). No. I was told that if I really, really wanted it, I could have a scoop of vanilla ice cream from the value tub in the freezer at home. My mother did not understand that this was not the same. The cruel snatching away of my dream of ice cream was the greatest injustice in the world. I sobbed. A lot. My mother must have been bewildered, because it wasn't as if we bought the ice cream any other time we went shopping.

Of course, as an adult if I want to waste my money on pricey ice cream I can. It's the lack of control that's so difficult, I think, whether that's not being able to have something that exists, or something that just can't, like a banana that isn't peeled but doesn't taste like banana skin when you try to eat it

DD2 slumped to the floor, bawling her eyes out and then proceeded to head butt the bathroom floor .... I hadn't wrapped her in her towel properly after her bath.... I don't even know what the 'proper' way is

Toddlers have had had tantrums since time immemorial. 40 years ago my toddler son was given a gift of a car by an elderly neighbour and did his godzilla impression, threw the car back at her. I was totally mortified.

DS had a tantrum today as I said I was very excited to spend the day with him and his sister. Cue tears as he sobbed I could only be a “little bit excited” to spend the day with both of them and I should only be very excited when spending the day with just him (while DD is at Nursery)

Eldest used to scream crying at the end of in the night garden but would refuse me turning off in the night garden until the ending what a glorious 7 months that was wow.

Current youngest cries that bedtime is every night... every night. He's just not used to the idea yet 5 years in it's becoming more intolerable to him that Humans sleep.

I'm convinced he's here to figure out the system that means Humans won't sleep ever again because I swear he's fuelled up at 5am every morning by Duracell.

How very dare you care for their needs. Outrageous behaviour.

DS had tantrums over me not letting the chickens come in to sit on the sofa and watch CBeebies with him, me sitting on his imaginary friend at the dinner table and me removing the cat he’d stored under the seat of his ride on Thomas the Tank Engine. I was a bad mother.

I offered mine a cracker today. She then lay on the floor for 10 solid minutes thrashing. Everytime I mentioned the cracker she got louder. I have no idea why. I left her to it, then came out and said 'so. Do you want a cracker or not?'. She got up, sniffed, then smiled and said 'ye', and then tottered off like nothing had happened.

Toddlers are bizarre.

@SnugglySnerd

To be fair op you can't win with twins. If we give ours both the same 2 identical items they will still want the same one!

You’re so right. I knew it was going to be hard, and it is, it’s brilliant and they are so funny as well but fucking hell it’s harder than I ever thought 😂

I also had the audacity to say 'look at the big truck' today. She said 'small'. I said, 'well no. Its a very big truck'. She burst into tears while sobbing 'SSSSMMMAAAALLLLL'. I agreed it was small and she stopped crying instantly.

My three year old loves throwing a good tantrum about anything and everything.

Occasionally she can control herself a bit better and that is when the real gems come out. Last week she took herself upstairs in a huff after DH told her no, turned around halfway and uttered the words: "Daddy, you are NOT my favourite".

Ridiculous OP, selfish and thoughtless. I hope you weren’t think of handing over a babybel that has broken in half?

Was it the wrong cup? That's a mortal sin with a toddler!

My son had a tantrum in a shop once because he wanted a surf board. One like this...

@Esspee

I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums. I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast. Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?

Nothing to do with "nowadays". If you don't have a child who tantrums, count yourself lucky. I had two who didn't generally go in for it, and one who did. In some ways I found the tantrummer quite restful, at least when he performed at home, because once I'd made sure that there was nothing causing him genuine distress I could just leave him to it and carry on with other things.

It's worth recording that he's grown up into a quiet, placid type (if a bit of a worrier) who's an absolute pleasure to have around.

Esspee
“I had two boys (long time ago) neither of them threw tantrums.
I remember one friend’s child who did and the rest of us young mums were completely aghast.
Why does it seem to be so prevalent nowadays?”

Oh fuck off

@ladycarlotta

My daughter has always had hair-trigger emotions so I'm not surprised she is embracing tantrums wholeheartedly. She likes to be very demonstrative. Her latest thing is to remove items of clothing when outdoors, eg hat or socks and then cry pitifully "head cold! Feet cold!" She took off her socks and stuck her bare feet out of the footmuff coming out of Tesco the other day, weeping "feet cold, mummy!" as if it was all my doing. Beast.

My DS does the same thing removes his hat in a strop, stamps on it and then wails 'ooooooh nooooooo, my haaaaaat, my heeeeeeeead, so coooold!' I'll be glad when it's no longer hat weather...

One I remember is dd, about 9. Sent to bed early as a punishment and refused to go to sleep. She kept on at me about how she would be staying awake all night. Silly me got into the back and forth of no you are not everytime she told me she was staying up.

Eventually I was so pissed off I just said "fine. You stay awake all night long. I dont want you to go to sleep anyway" her response shocked me. She said "i WILL go to sleep. I am going to sleep right now!!"

I was kicking myself the rest of the way down the stairs wondering why I hadn't even thought of reverse psychology ages before. It would have saved a lot of stress! She did go to sleep like she said she would, far earlier than the time that was set.

DD1 barely stropped as a toddler. How smug I was! She’s 7 now and spent lockdown 1 repeatedly throwing herself to the floor if I dared say no. It’s resurfacing a bit in lockdown 3 but nowhere near as bad so far. 🤞🤞🤞

Mine had a tantrum today that I wouldn’t open the kitchen door for him. He’d just opened it himself, it was about an inch ajar, and he didn’t realise it was already open. I had to push the door pretending to open it abit to solve his tantrum.

I've remembered another one. DC5, then about 2, went ballistic because we couldn't go to the pub that we were passing in the car - "it's our pub - we go to that pub".

We had never been there or to any pub then, and have never been since.

DD used to get hysterical if we offered her an apple... NO CUTTING, NO CUTTING, she'd scream, with tears pouring down her face.

I can confirm that toddlers never ever stropped back in the past. I, for instance never cried in a restaurant because they had taken the flesh off my chicken drumstick,nor “ran away” (rode my trike to the corner, shadowed by my mum) apparently because the sugar had melted on my porridge.

I'm the third of four sisters. There may be an element of selective memory here, but I can only remember tantrums from younger sister - I was four when she was born.
I think my Mum must have had experience with coping with tantrums by the time the youngest got to that stage. The youngest of us four would throw tantrums for no, to me, apparent reason, and my Mum's method was to ignore until it passed.
The older sisters , especially the eldsest two would start trying to pacify her and coddle her and my Mum always said, leave her, she'll get over it. And she did, not receiving any attention until she had cried herself out and then being able to say what was actually wrong.
Of all four of us, she has turned out to be the calmest of us all!
In fact, my eldest sister is still a tantrum thrower with her "Playground Princess Huffy Puffy Flouncy Flouncy" attitude when things don't go her way and my Mum still says, "Let her go and get over it"!
P.S. Playground Princess is 69 and Mum is 93!

My ‘little cherub’ ruined all the photos from a holiday when he was 6/7 by opening his mouth and yelling right at the moment of the camera click... he had no top or bottom front teeth at the time (milk teeth fell out 2 weeks before) so he looks like a total maniac in the photos with a huge gaping hole in his face! Beautiful sunny week, lovely hols... could burn the bloody photos though and it was 25 years ago!