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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend and ICU doctor

189 replies

Hana88 · 18/02/2021 07:51

My friend has been speaking to an old friend of hers, who happens to be a doctor working in ICU at the moment.

He has invited her to his house to stay overnight - I'm sure I don't have to spell out what for.

He lives around two hours away and she's agreed to go.

AIBU to say something?

OP posts:
Original poster
Hana88 · 18/02/2021 09:26

Wow okay, I have already admitted I was BU. :(

I honestly thought it was against the rules. She has met other friends outside regularly, but isn't in a "bubble" as such.

I also thought that given she could have COVID, he might not want her coming to his home. How would he know if she had it? Then he goes in to work the next day...

If I am wrong, I am wrong. There's no need to call me a "shit mate!"

OP posts:
fromdownwest · 18/02/2021 09:33

What will these folk do when the 'rules' are relaxed?

No one to spy on, gossip about, or tell tale on a public forum?

RootyT00t · 18/02/2021 09:38

@arethereanyleftatall

Are you putting against the covid rules above against the marriage rules?
Who is married?
Bluesheep8 · 18/02/2021 09:39

2 hours isn’t local area and by the sounds of it it’s for a hook up!

This.

tangoboxing · 18/02/2021 09:43

We are supposed to stay in our local area and 2 hours away isn't that.

^not law - guidance is not enforceable & even if it were there is no prescribed distance for any sort of support bubble.

Mumsnet is full of people who don't bother to read the actual law but feel no embarrassment in displaying their ignorance.

Bluetrews25 · 18/02/2021 09:46

I get a very well-meaning email every day at my NHS job, from a colleague in my extended team, detailing different ways I can support my mental health ('smile at yourself in the mirror for 2 mins every day', er, no thanks). Maybe he'd sooner do this than smile at himself in the mirror or 'take up a new hobby'. Can't say I blame him, frankly.

MaxNormal · 18/02/2021 09:48

It's absolutely crazy to insist that humans become celibate for an indefinate amount of time.

Itwasbad · 18/02/2021 09:50

will the government issue them with special PPE?

RootyT00t · 18/02/2021 09:52

OP, i don't know why people are being like that.

2 hours away for a hook up is not a support bubble. It might not be against the rules, but it's a bloody bend.

RootyT00t · 18/02/2021 09:52

Madness that she can travel 2 hours for a hook up but I can't travel 2 hours to see my granny , eh?

VinylDetective · 18/02/2021 09:52

@fromdownwest

What will these folk do when the 'rules' are relaxed?

No one to spy on, gossip about, or tell tale on a public forum?

I know. I guess it will be back to endless bloody parking threads again.
TheVanguardSix · 18/02/2021 09:55

You're not at all wrong, OP. Your concerns are totally valid. But I take it the ICU doctor has had the vaccine and is protected. At the end of the day, it's your friend's call and, as someone mentioned above, you can't expect people to live a life of celibacy. I hope, for your friend, that this is more than a hook-up and leads to something lasting (only because below the surface of my rock-hard cynicism, exists an old romantic). You may be at their wedding in a couple of years, OP, so... just let them crack on with it. You can't really police what others do. It's not what needs doing here.

Christmasfairy2020 · 18/02/2021 09:56

Advise her on safe sex and then get married so she can live a comfortable life Hmm bloody joking. Let her crack on and ask for the info later lol

Nanuki · 18/02/2021 09:58

Mental health support is allowed, as an ICU doctor he probably needs it at the moment.

Give over.

GetOffYourHighHorse · 18/02/2021 10:01

'Mumsnet is full of people who don't bother to read the actual law but feel no embarrassment in displaying their ignorance.'

Yes and then moan at length when we point out those who are too thick and selfish (the flouters rage at that word) to follow the restrictions are actually the problem. Not Boris Johnson and 'the tories'.

Mannersstillcostnothing · 18/02/2021 10:01

@Itwasbad

will the government issue them with special PPE?
They already do tho! Contraception is free on the NHS. WinkGrin
Porridgeoat · 18/02/2021 10:04

She’s single so can bubble up.

You’ve said a lot of what ifs in your last post ... there’s a risk she could pass something on just as there is a risk going to the shops.

Why haven’t you met your parents in the middle and gone for a walk together?

TwelvePaws · 18/02/2021 10:05

I also thought that given she could have COVID, he might not want her coming to his home. How would he know if she had it? Then he goes in to work the next day...

This later comment confirmed my suspicions that I had already from reading your first post. That this is a ‘We’re being told to follow the rules yet look at what ICU doctors are doing.’ In order to get people angry. Complete bullshit I think. 1/10 🥱

whatistheworld · 18/02/2021 10:07

@Hana88

Okay, maybe IABU Grin

I just thought we were supposed to stay in our local area unless it was essential. I haven't seen my parents for months and they're only in the next town. Maybe that's clouding my judgement.

I won't say anything to her.

we are! and the attitude of many on here is why it is spreading and people are dying
whatistheworld · 18/02/2021 10:08

@Porridgeoat

She’s single so can bubble up.

You’ve said a lot of what ifs in your last post ... there’s a risk she could pass something on just as there is a risk going to the shops.

Why haven’t you met your parents in the middle and gone for a walk together?

she maybe single but she lives with her family. she can't just bubble up! if you are not aware of the rules please don't comment
Porridgeoat · 18/02/2021 10:09

Can you recommend that they meet half way, wear masks while shagging and hand sanitize before and after.

VinylDetective · 18/02/2021 10:09

@GetOffYourHighHorse

'Mumsnet is full of people who don't bother to read the actual law but feel no embarrassment in displaying their ignorance.'

Yes and then moan at length when we point out those who are too thick and selfish (the flouters rage at that word) to follow the restrictions are actually the problem. Not Boris Johnson and 'the tories'.

Actually compliance is far higher than anyone ever expected and the scientists say the problem is that 47% of people are still working outside the home. Despite this the infection rate fell 24.9% in the last week.

I see you’re still calling people thick, despite having been called out on it in no uncertain fashion recently. Some people just don’t learn, do they?

Porridgeoat · 18/02/2021 10:10

Shagging outside is almost in the rules

GetOffYourHighHorse · 18/02/2021 10:13

'But I take it the ICU doctor has had the vaccine and is protected.'

Lovely. However he could still pass it on to her to spread to her family as they don't know for sure if the vaccine prevents this. Still, who cares! Not the op's desperate pal or some on here that's for sure.

Then people scratch their heads and wonder why rates are still high when we have people seal clapping stuff like this.

Lilifer · 18/02/2021 10:13

@RhubarbAndRoses

I’m finding it really hard to get worked up about stories like this anymore. People are doing what the need to do to get through this.
Agree ⬆️
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