My friend and ICU doctor

[Hana88]

My friend has been speaking to an old friend of hers, who happens to be a doctor working in ICU at the moment.

He has invited her to his house to stay overnight - I'm sure I don't have to spell out what for.

He lives around two hours away and she's agreed to go.

AIBU to say something?

Go and see your parents if it's affecting you so negatively it's clouding your judgement. You can check up on them for peace of mind. Loads of people are doing it round here.

The ITU Dr will

• almost certainly have had one dose of the vaccine and possibly two.
• have been wearing full PPE at work
• have had a shower after work.

I haven't seen my parents for months and they're only in the next town.
That's the situation for most of us. I haven't seen mine since March. Only on FaceTime. But that doesn't mean I'd resent a friend who met someone starting a relationship.

@PurpleWh1teGreen

The ITU Dr will

• almost certainly have had one dose of the vaccine and possibly two.
• have been wearing full PPE at work
• have had a shower after work.

And will be being tested for COVID twice a week.

I’m not condoning it but this is one of those times when the risk is very small, assuming your friend isn’t taking any other risks. If I were you I’d be minding my own business.

YANBU

And do you know what? Even if they are breaking the rules and the ICU doctor has got to the point where he’s saying “sod this, I really really need something outside of work” are you genuinely saying that’s a bad idea?

A lot of front line workers in my circle are feeling the same to be honest @PotteringAlong. Having nothing outside a traumatic workplace is quite unbearable this far down the line. I’m not saying it happens regularly, or that front line workers are fine with breaking the rules but spirits are on the floor atm.

I’m surprised at the responses here. 2 hours isn’t local area and by the sounds of it it’s for a hook up!

Don’t get me wrong, if I had my way, we’d all be allowed to go about our normal business and do what we want, I think lockdown should be finished with now!

What I find ironic though, is when the post about the two women meeting for coffee after driving to location, people on here went nuts. It was that big of a deal it was national news and people were so disgusted.

How’s this better? Least they were outside. You hear folk on hear harping on about ‘not essential’ travel etc in one post.... then in the next post it’s totally fine...

Again- I think he should go!!

Do people think that working for the NHS means you follow the rules more rigidly than others?

My best friend is a nurse on a covid ward. Lives with housemates all of whom are also nurses. She’s been sleeping on and off with a junior doctor since summer, he lives in a house share of doctors.

Her housemates have also been seeing people they work at the hospital with, I assume their partners housemates have been doing the same too. She’s just finished her second isolation period after having covid in her house. She’s had it once herself.

From what I understand they were thrown to the dogs so badly in the first wave, no PPE...etc they all caught it and after that they carried on their normal lives.

I don’t agree but it is what it is.

She can bubble with him if she hasn't been in another bubble in the last 2 weeks. It's very hard on single people, suggesting they can't start a relationship doesn't sound reasonable. Just because they haven't shagged before doesn't mean they won't shag again, if it all goes well. Shouldn't you be happy for your friend finding someone new?

I'm not remotely one of the covid police, but I'm finding this thread really odd.

Everyone here knows that this booty call doesn't constitute a bubble. Travelling 200 miles for non essential reasons world normally lead to pages of frothing. And having one's parents round for a coffee and calling that a childcare bubble always goes down really well on MN. Yet suddenly even questioning (not reporting) what these two are doing is unreasonable?

I really have no clue what's going on here

Do people think that working for the NHS means you follow the rules more rigidly than others?

The ones I know (all in covid wards) are following the same rules and guidance as we're all supposed to be following. No more, no less. And trying very hard not to judge, but sometimes struggling with their non-NHS friends' poor decisions.

Fascinationends

Better than clapping him I suppose.

🤣🤣🤣🤣 This!

And keep out of it. Don't see her for the 2 wks after if you feel that strongly about it & want to protect yourself... And what of him being an ICU doctor? Maybe he has been vaxxed & she couldn't be in safer (or better!) hands....

I’m surprised by the responses, I mean I wouldn’t say anything but this isn’t allowed is it? How come I, my dh and my teenagers are all meeting only one person at a time outside for a walk and not going inside? Can my ds have his boyfriend round then? Can my single friends go round to blokes’ houses to have sex with them then? Because they’re not at the moment because it’s it’s lockdown!

After 11 months of watching people break the rules, the only sensible thing you can do OP is protect yourself by staying away from your friend if she is engaging in what is considered to be risky behaviour. You cannot control what another adult choses to do.

Even a member of the covid police would hesitate blowing their whistle on this one. A single man "joining up" with a member of another household is permitted. None of the social distancing rules apply in that scenario.

That said, I wouldn't froth about someone meeting their parents for coffee either.

Would you be happy with them meeting if they lived nearer? Is that the issue? Why then mention his occupation? Are icu doctors expected to return home and live in a vacuum outside of work, forbidden to form a new relationship or have human contact with anyone?

He will be having regular tests , so I think she will be safe , perhaps he feels he needs some different company , it must have been a difficult and stressful time for him .

Can my dd have his boyfriend round then? if the boyfriend is a single person household then yes he can.

*ds

'I just thought we were supposed to stay in our local area unless it was essential. I haven't seen my parents for months and they're only in the next town. Maybe that's clouding my judgement'

We are supposed to stay in our local area and 2 hours away isn't that.

Sadly mn is full of flouters and deniers.

He’s probably had a totally shit year. He deserves a nice shag imo. Good for your friend.

She knows the rules, she’s either decided this fits or she doesn’t care - mind your own business

'He’s probably had a totally shit year. He deserves a nice shag imo'z

Oh yes, the poor icu Dr! Who cares about the boring infection rates as long as he gets his leg over. He deserves it!

You'd think he would know better tbh.

Guidelines state; as a single person you are permitted to form a support bubble (and have overnight stays) with another household. Can I travel to see my support? You can travel to another area but It is best to stay locally where possible.

If the doctor is single and living alone, he's not flouting any rules in having a girlfriend travelling to see him overnight.