Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Original poster

To still not having anything to eat because of what someone said

145 replies

yarncakes · 17/02/2021 18:51

We get meals made for us at work when we're on shift so the chef used to do it for us which is lovely. A few weeks after starting, I was eating and my supervisor said what have you got so I told her what I had and she said you've got too much there it was sectioned for other staff which I had absolutely no clue about! I hadn't touched it so I said fine I will put it back and she said there's no point now and I said no, you've said it now so I will put it back in the fucking kitchen. I got up and went to give it back and the chef said is there something wrong with it, I said not at all I realised that I need to leave now to pick up my little one. I never have lunch at work now and just wait until I get home and the supervisor still asks me if I'm having any lunch and I always say no. Surely by now she realised how much she has offended me? It's been months and it still gets to me.

OP posts:

zzizzer · 18/02/2021 07:09

Okay, there's been a bad episode here, and now you've dug your heels in and are presumably too embarrassed inside to undo it without an outright apology from her - but that's not going to be forthcoming.

The dynamics here aren't likely to be fixed, its all a bit naughty child vs bemused schoolteacher, so unless she's likely to leave soon, ideally you need to find a new job.

Sunflowers095 · 18/02/2021 08:29

Some posters are giving you a really hard time OP.

I have an eating disorder and if my boss at work did that to me I'd be humiliated and probably wouldn't eat for days. She's a shit boss if she doesn't know how to tactfully bring it up and surely the chef who is playing the food should make sure the portions are even?

Some posters need to get over themselves saying "if you spoke like that to me". Who are you? The queen of england? She was rude and she got rude in return. Not the most professional but I would have been caught off guard.

I love how on mumsnet when anyone has a problem with something that to most people wouldn't be a big deal they're told to grow up. Surely if you're so mature yourself you can understand people feel differently about different things.

Sunflowers095 · 18/02/2021 08:33

@Womencanlift

There is something familiar about this story. I am sure it has been on here before.

If this really happened the. YABVU and acting like a child. She probably doesn’t have a clue she has offended you and probably just things you are odd for not eating at work of that is the done thing

A few months back there was a similar story but from a supervisor's perspective. It was about a few different things but the main one was that she told the employee she's taken too much food and it's supposed to be for other staff too.

On that thread everyone flamed the supervisor saying it's a shitty thing to do.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 18/02/2021 09:22

@Sunflowers095

Some posters are giving you a really hard time OP.

How would you point out to someone they are eating someone else's food as well? I don't think the supervisor was rude. We only have whatever sentence op wrote here, which doesn't have to be exactly what the supervisor said. Even if it were, it's not rude. Matter of fact. And yes, if a staff spoke to me as their supervisor in this way I wouldn't have to be a queen to be in right to issue disciplinary action and be pissed off by the disrespect.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 18/02/2021 09:23

Was it fruit btw? I remember someone writing about taking too much fruit. It was a while ago though.

Sunflowers095 · 18/02/2021 10:15

@SchrodingersImmigrant do you really think the best way to approach this is while someone is eating?

How was she supposed to know portions and why didn't the chef give out a normal portion size?

As a manager I would approach said person after the fact just to say "hey, sorry as I don't think we mentioned this before but since there is a set amount of food for all the staff we usually go for smaller portions".

Or ask the chef to give everyone equal portions of the right size.

So many more ways to be tactful.

SteveBrexit · 18/02/2021 10:56

do you really think the best way to approach this is while someone is eating?

actually yes.

A quick comment there and then instead of making it a formal thing later surely is much less embarrassing.

You can't blame the supervisor if the OP had a strop and reacted like a toddler.

The OP is very conveniently staying quiet over what the problem was.. again, 1 instead of 2 sandwiches or something, or half the platter made for a team of 20 people?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 18/02/2021 11:01

I don't think it was a chef giving out the food tbh. They know.
Well yeah everything can always be dealt with in a better way. Hindsight is a beautiful things and that. But if you matter of fact tell someone they have food for others as well and they flip at you like this, they have no high ground.

I also suspect it was fruit, not something chef gives out because, frankly, no one would do at extra sausage or something similar "Yeah I will put it back, I eat around it".

SchrodingersImmigrant · 18/02/2021 11:05

And saying "I would deal with it in x way, not like that" while reading about the situation and having time to properly think about it in peace is like saying why the heck did the contestant on Who wants to be a millionaire didn't know this simple answer while you at home, watching it on TV in peace and no pressure do😁
Being remove gives much different view.

emilyfrost · 18/02/2021 11:14

YABVU. The supervisor wasn’t at all rude; she was simply pointing out you’d taken too much so you knew for next time.

You stropped like a toddler and were extremely rude; you’re lucky you still have a job after that.

You also couldn’t have taken it back to the kitchen. It doesn’t matter if you hadn’t touched it, even in non-covid times it would have to go straight in the bin so you really did cut your nose off to spite your face.

emilyfrost · 18/02/2021 11:15

Sunflowers095 Pointing out that someone has taken too much isn’t rude; it’s letting them know for next time.

Your judgement is clouded by your eating disorder.

LindaEllen · 18/02/2021 11:18

Firstly, the way you spoke to YOUR SUPERVISOR was disgusting. If you were on my team you'd have got a warning for that attitude.

Secondly, you say surely she's noticed she's annoyed by now.

This is incredibly immature. You're an adult. If you want someone to know they've affected you, use your words and tell them.
Your supervisor probably hasn't given it a second thought. They probably left the room and had forgotten about the whole exchange with 10 minutes. So you're absolutely making a stand for no sodding reason.

It's pathetic, frankly.

grapewine · 18/02/2021 11:24

Surely by now she realised how much she has offended me? It's been months and it still gets to me

That's your issue to work on. She gave you information, and if you spoke to her in the way you say you did, then you're the rude one.

What point are you even trying to make months on? You're only making your own life difficult.

Crazycrazylady · 18/02/2021 11:28

Agree with the majority here, total over reaction on your part OP. Your Supervisor doesn't give a rattlers whether you eat or not, Why would she.
I'm a bit shocked thought at the number of people who said that supervisor was wrong to mention it, that they should "tactfully" take her aside and mention it because they should assume she might have an eating disorder.
Surely in the real world, a quick word there and then in the best way to handle these things.?

Mia1415 · 18/02/2021 11:28

You are being ridiculous and the only person loosing out is you! To be honest if you really swore at your supervisor after only being in the job a few weeks, you are lucky to still have a job at all!

ChonkyChook · 18/02/2021 12:41

Was it the serving bowl of fruit salad you took?

SnackSizeRaisin · 18/02/2021 13:03

Slightly awkward perhaps but never eating again is a stupid way to react. Better to explain why you didn't realise what the portion size was meant to be and suggest it be made clearer. Are you quite overweight? Because you seem to have taken it very personally, unless this boss is getting at you in other ways. Would you care if they pulled you up on some non food related issue? It's fairly normal in a new job for people to point out things that aren't accepted in that workplace.

PerpendicularVincent · 18/02/2021 13:11

This has been posted previously from the perspective of the 'supervisor'. Which one are you OP, and why are you posting again?

Crankley · 18/02/2021 13:11

Time to get over it. Your supervisor won't give a fuck if you eat lunch or not so your cutting off your nose to spite your face. You are the one losing out by not having lunch.

DrManhattan · 18/02/2021 14:41

This again. Still ridiculous the second time round. Op could just say sorry like everyone else would

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Swipe left for the next trending thread