Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you buy present for all children on one child’s birthday?

146 replies

MotherToBee · 17/02/2021 13:00

Does anyone buy your other children a little present when it’s their siblings birthday?

Personally I would not.
Defo not, teaching the kids they should get something as well as they will end up spoilt and entitled.
They was not born on that day why take it away from the child who actually has the birthday.
Each to their own no judgments passed though!

OP posts:
DIYandEatCake · 18/02/2021 00:33

We have a little tradition of ‘birthday breakfast’ with a super nice breakfast buffet, party tablecloth and decorations, and each child has a comic/magazine and some of their favourite chocolates laid out in their place. It’s something they look forward to, and makes the morning special for everyone.

ShutUpaYourFace · 18/02/2021 00:40

It was my DS 9th birthday last week.
When I purchased a Thornton's chocolate football boot as I gift I also brought my youngest the chocolate dinosaur. My eldest got lots of other presents so a little bit of chocolate didn't seem a problem as it's always opened and shared.
My in laws brought youngest a little gift as well and a card! Funny though, I can't remember it happening in the years before.

ReggieKrait · 18/02/2021 00:53

Nope, definitely would not do this. Each kid has their own birthday where they are thoroughly spoiled. That is fair. Children need to gradually learn they are not the centre of the universe and that they sometimes have to put others first.

occa · 18/02/2021 01:07

Yes something tiny and probably only to about age 5.

Nanny0gg · 18/02/2021 01:16

Never, ever heard of such a thing before MN.

Why on earth would you?

You can give small treats out on other days.

TheNestedIf · 18/02/2021 02:34

Absolutely not. It's good to learn that sometimes you are the important one and that at other times it's not all about you and it's nice to just take pleasure in someone else's joy.

Providora · 18/02/2021 02:54

I think I did it when they were 1 or 2yo and too young to understand, and likely to throw a wobbly and wreck the present opening for their sibling. Beyond that, no. They get taken out for a nice meal, that's enough!

Chunkymenrock · 18/02/2021 02:58

Absolutely not. Pointless, more shit to remember/buy/organise. Everyone has their own birthday.

ParkheadParadise · 18/02/2021 03:02

No

My mum had 6 of us. On our birthday we got one present from mum, dad and siblings and 2 cards dd/sister.
I wish we had done but it was hard enough to buy one child a present on their birthday without adding an extra 5 on.

MotherExtraordinaire · 18/02/2021 07:15

This used to happen when there were only 2 young children in the extended family. I wasn't a huge fan. But it certainly didn't spoil or make them entitled. Nor has receiving gifts from other family members when it's not birthdays or holidays etc.

JustLyra · 18/02/2021 08:00

We did when our eldest three were little. DS has a Christmas birthday and the girls are twins who have a summer birthday. We always did a little unbirthday thing, just something small, until he was old enough to understand properly why the girls got presents on his birthday and each other’s birthday, but he wouldn’t always get presents on their birthday.

waitingpatientlyforspring · 18/02/2021 08:58

No I don't and it used to annoy me when my mil tried to do that by bringing sweets or a top for the non birthday child. She didn't keep it up for long.

Popcornriver · 18/02/2021 10:29

Actually OP I do think there were judgements made in your post Grin

This is something we do. It usually tends to be something for the day like a dress up or their own balloon. Maybe chocolates and sweets. DD once got some very large lego sets. DS got a smaller one so he could sit at the table and chat with his big sister while they built models. DSs was about £4 I think and his sister enjoyed building her sets while encouraging her little brother with his. DDs present was no less special because of this and it introduced a new activity they could share.

InTheCludgie · 18/02/2021 12:02

My MIL favours my DS over my DD, one year when it was DDs birthday she also gave DS a present but didn't do the same when it was DSs birthday. Kids didn't notice but I wasn't overly happy tbh. Didn't say anything as I'd probably appear ungrateful and no doubt she would ignore me anyway

Hoppinggreen · 18/02/2021 12:04

Not usually but if we are posting a present I might pop some chocolate buttons or similar in for a sibling

unmarkedbythat · 18/02/2021 12:06

I don't. My mum does- little token gifts for the other dc alongside the birthday child's big present (although she didn't do it when we were dc). It's not something I feel strongly about one way or the other.

hedgehogger1 · 18/02/2021 12:15

No it's the birthday child's special day. No one else's. Def don't need to buy anyone else extra tat on top!

HamnetandJudith · 18/02/2021 12:19

It just didn’t work in our family because it’s a blended family and the grandparents were buying for both of DH’s dc when it was one of their birthdays but nothing for mine. Just no need for that.

334bu · 18/02/2021 12:54

In our family the gift is always called " Maltesers" no matter what it is, both my mother and MIL always did this with young children and I just carried on.. They would also do it when sending gifts for new babies, there was always a little something,pencils,stickers etc for the other siblings.

takingwhatineed · 18/02/2021 13:11

I do, I always buy the dc a gift on each other's birthday. What's wrong with spoiling your dc? My dc are 14 and 11 now. They're sweet and kind and loving. Not spoiled entitled brats.

HamnetandJudith · 18/02/2021 13:42

It’s fine as long as no one is left out.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page