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Original poster

Would you buy present for all children on one child’s birthday?

146 replies

MotherToBee · 17/02/2021 13:00

Does anyone buy your other children a little present when it’s their siblings birthday?

Personally I would not.
Defo not, teaching the kids they should get something as well as they will end up spoilt and entitled.
They was not born on that day why take it away from the child who actually has the birthday.
Each to their own no judgments passed though!

OP posts:
SteveBrexit · 17/02/2021 16:16

depends.

Child birthday party, friend's birthday, neighbour's birthday, no.

An adult visiting or invited to a child's birthday (meaning a grown-up gathering) then yes

Feetupteashot · 17/02/2021 16:21

I did get a small thing on sibs birthday and it was really nice. Esp as my birthday is at a crap time of year

And no I've never been a birthday crazed adult as a result

Jackie767 · 17/02/2021 16:37

We always buy a little something,usually something that just costs a couple of pounds, unless were having a day out birthday trip, in which case they are all involved in it anyway, but its each to their own,.

BiddyPop · 17/02/2021 16:40

No, I think it's bad enough when some parents insist on non-birthday DCs "helping" to blow out the candles, or getting them relit to blow out after birthday DC has done it.

A separate present for non-birthday DC? No. They will get theirs on their own birthday.

SteveBrexit · 17/02/2021 16:44

It's MN

It's already horrifying and wasteful if children get more than 3 gifts for Christmas (including clothes and toothpaste!) as they would turn up entitled and spoiled lost causes.

So a grand-parent or a friend bringing a small gift or a pack of haribos to a non-birthday child! The horror!

I always send a gift to siblings who just had a new baby in the family. I must be evil. Grin

NerrSnerr · 17/02/2021 16:50

Why does it matter either way. It's not surprising that different families do things differently. Do what you feel is best.

TheNorthernNic · 17/02/2021 16:52

My Mum used to buy the non-birthday child a new outfit for the day and a book. It was great, I was a proper book worm so I loved it, and then when I got older I looked forward to looking "nice" on the birthday photos. We stopped at about 11, neither me or my sister is spoilt. I always remember my sister getting an amazing animal hospital set and we had such fun playing together (one of the rare times we didn't want to murder each other), then when she was opening the rest I went and read my book, we then always went out for birthday tea and we only really did photos at birthday or Christmas as it was a faff with the camera, so I enjoyed wearing a new pretty dress or some sparkly shoes.I never expected anything, but it was nice nonetheless. Gran always brought us sweets whatever the occasion too, so usually I'd be set for a great day on my sisters birthday with my book and woolworths sweets.

bridgetreilly · 17/02/2021 16:54

No. All the children I know have more than enough stuff anyway, and I think it's really important for them to learn that it isn't always their turn to get things. Sometimes they just have to be happy for each other.

TheNorthernNic · 17/02/2021 16:54

My best friend got around this predicament quite well, she has two children 4 years apart born on the exact same day. 4 year old was furious when her Mam went into labour mid-party haha.

MessagesKeepGettingClearer · 17/02/2021 16:57

No, but I do buy for the kids if they get a new sibling.

Emeraldshamrock · 17/02/2021 17:03

No. My 2 children do share they always treat each other with a toy a few days later from their birthday money.

fourandnomore · 17/02/2021 17:04

I do it for mine, something very small like £5 or less as my mum did it for us and still does it for my kids so it would be a bit weird if I didn’t. Also my eldest daughter says I don’t need to get her anything on the other three’s birthdays but then checks that I’ll get the others something on her birthday as she wants them to share in the fun. My children are way more excited about giving their gifts than receiving any gifts and I am/was in no way spoilt so hopefully they aren’t either.

Ilovecaviar · 17/02/2021 17:22

Yes we do for our 3 children, there is absolutely no harm in giving little gifts, especially when they are young.

PlanDeRaccordement · 17/02/2021 17:26

Sigh. We did because my DH is a lord of the rings fan and that’s what hobbits do. But I reined it in a bit and it was one small token gift for each child not having the birthday and a respectable pile of gifts for the birthday child (unless child was having a party, in which case they got a gift from each parent plus whatever their friends brought to the party).

Peachydon · 17/02/2021 17:27

No, I only buy a sibling gift when a new baby is born

halllftheworllldawway · 17/02/2021 17:30

I have two children

The sibling whose birthday it isn't always gets a small present. A book/colouring/activity book type thing.

Neither of them are spoilt. It's the birthday child's day but that doesn't mean your other kids can't have a small treat.

Emeraldshamrock · 17/02/2021 17:46

I put a small toy in the party bag too, everyone gets a small surprise.

Adancewithdragons · 17/02/2021 18:00

No but to get other siblings excited they get to help pick a present from them to the birthday person. They are always so excited to watch their sibling open their present

ElderMillennial · 17/02/2021 18:08

It depends on the situation

If it's a situation where I don't always see the children every year on their birthdays, say they live far away, then I might get a gift for both.

Also if they are young or I simply want to treat them both!

HighwayCat · 17/02/2021 18:27

Yes I do, although pre-children it’s not something I would have thought I would have done. It feels like the right thing for our circumstances and if I thought it was making them spoilt I would stop. 2 have birthdays very close together, so essentially get a small present they would otherwise have on their birthday on another day and so I find get more enjoyment from it than on the birthday when they can be overwhelmed. The third has a birthday 6 months away near Christmas so it spread things out for her. When they’re old enough for proper pocket money so can buy things when they want I’d probably stop. They don’t get many other toys throughout the year and as PPs have said I see it as a similar concept to a party bag.

FortniteBoysMum · 17/02/2021 18:32

Personally no. However my nan and aunt lived in another country and as kids we got 10 from each on our birthdays and 5 from each on the others birthday. This was because we very rarely ever saw them. In this day and age we would have face timed so I don't think it would of happened now.

RJnomore1 · 17/02/2021 18:39

No and I akways thought it wasn’t a good idea but now I’ve read the poster up there who helped choose a wee gift for their brother on her birthday and vice Versa and I think that’s really lovely.

Sammiesnake · 17/02/2021 18:50

Yes we do!!

Sammiesnake · 17/02/2021 18:58

Just to add some context : my DC are born six months apart so they feel their birthday is a lifetime away on their sibling’s day. They exchange a gift to each other on the birthday (so birthday child gamers a gift from their sibling and other child gets one back too). It’s nice for the birthday child to give something on their day and it’s very much appreciated in return. I can’t see the issue with is. Also - shock horror- they help each other blow out candles too!!

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 17/02/2021 20:01

@Sammiesnake

My 7yo’s birthday is January. She goes the whole year waiting for it to be her turn again and doesn’t ever complain that it’s not her day when it’s someone else’s birthday. She never has.