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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you buy present for all children on one child’s birthday?

146 replies

MotherToBee · 17/02/2021 13:00

Does anyone buy your other children a little present when it’s their siblings birthday?

Personally I would not.
Defo not, teaching the kids they should get something as well as they will end up spoilt and entitled.
They was not born on that day why take it away from the child who actually has the birthday.
Each to their own no judgments passed though!

OP posts:
Onamissionn · 17/02/2021 13:32

No way.
Got a ‘big brother’ gift when new baby came but that was it.
The people I know who do this, their kids are very spoiled and bratty.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 17/02/2021 13:36

Goodness, no way

If you don't do it why are you asking, surely you're not thinking of starting to are you?

Chloemol · 17/02/2021 13:53

No

LaceyBetty · 17/02/2021 13:54

I don't.

Floralnomad · 17/02/2021 13:56

I never have , a birthday is supposed to be special for the person with the birthday .

OhCaptain · 17/02/2021 13:57

I’ve never heard of this!

Just...why??

Siblings get to enjoy the party/day out/sweets and cake etc.

Why would I get them a present for someone else’s birthday? They have their own birthdays!

This baffles me.

gogojojo · 17/02/2021 13:58

I don't but my parents always bring a little something for the other 2 DC when they bring their gift for the birthday boy/girl - normally just sweets or a book but they don't like to leave anyone out

Isadora2007 · 17/02/2021 14:09

Of course you’re judgmental @MotherToBee as you say spoilt and entitled in your OP. My kids are neither but I’ve always done non birthday gifts too. I enjoy gift buying and it’s never been an issue or spoilt it for the birthday child as they know it’s their birthday and they get obviously more presents and more attention. They always like the other children getting stuff as it may be something they can do together eg they all get bubbles if it’s a summer birthday or they all get glow sticks etc. It’s not big presents just a few things wrapped up while they’re young and cash and chocolate when older. That way everyone is happy.
I don’t care if other people don’t do it for whatever reason they have- maybe their kids would be spoilt or entitled if they did it. But I know mine aren’t... so 🤷🏻‍♀️

DontGoIntoTheLongGrass · 17/02/2021 14:09

No definitely not. DD is an only but I don't buy for her when it's mine or DH's birthday. She gets to help choose the gift for dh or me and also wrap it and give it. She loves giving tbh so she's ok with it.

Bil/sil do this with their 3. When it's my dd's birthday sil gets her kids all a gift too Hmm she's most put out when it's one of her kids and i only buy for birthday child Grin

FilthyforFirth · 17/02/2021 14:23

Good god no. Sure fire way to raise spoilt entitled children. Literally everyone has a birthday so everyone gets a turn. I dont see what the issue is with everyone having their own special day that is just about them.

trappedsincesundaymorn · 17/02/2021 14:23

If their birthday was Christmas Day then I would buy them a gift on their sibling's birthday, otherwise no.

notalwaysalondoner · 17/02/2021 14:24

Definitely not. It’s good to teach children not everything is about them and they can’t always be the centre of attention. Birthdays are a great opportunity to do that.

Although one family friend had a child with cancer and his younger sibling got awfully left out from all the gifts and treats people sent him, which was hard on her. She already had to deal with losing a lot of attention, I thought it was very thoughtless of the people sending the gifts to not think about her too.

imalmostthere · 17/02/2021 14:25

Yep I do!
That must mean my kids are entitled and spoilt though, right op? No judgement though of course🙄

Heytigertea · 17/02/2021 14:26

There’s only a few days between my kids birthdays so absolutely not, they get enough on their own day

OhCaptain · 17/02/2021 14:28

@Isadora2007

Of course you’re judgmental *@MotherToBee* as you say spoilt and entitled in your OP. My kids are neither but I’ve always done non birthday gifts too. I enjoy gift buying and it’s never been an issue or spoilt it for the birthday child as they know it’s their birthday and they get obviously more presents and more attention. They always like the other children getting stuff as it may be something they can do together eg they all get bubbles if it’s a summer birthday or they all get glow sticks etc. It’s not big presents just a few things wrapped up while they’re young and cash and chocolate when older. That way everyone is happy. I don’t care if other people don’t do it for whatever reason they have- maybe their kids would be spoilt or entitled if they did it. But I know mine aren’t... so 🤷🏻‍♀️
But why though? Confused
Nonamesavail · 17/02/2021 14:29

I do but literally a sweet cone or something.

ineedaholidaynow · 17/02/2021 14:31

Doesn't it just add to the plastic tat mountain

Kottbullar · 17/02/2021 14:31

Yes, we always do a little unbirthday gift. It's something that was done for me.
I get why it comes across as a spoilt brat thing but that's not how it is at all.

OhCaptain · 17/02/2021 14:32

@Kottbullar

Yes, we always do a little unbirthday gift. It's something that was done for me. I get why it comes across as a spoilt brat thing but that's not how it is at all.
How is it then? Genuinely would like to know why people do it!
Crappyfridays7 · 17/02/2021 14:33

Nope, my 4 kids have big gaps then a small one so when my eldest was little my ds2 was too little to know what was happening then with ds2 he just enjoyed playing with wrapping/boxes and they played with toys together as quite close. Then my youngest 2 are close in age so just played together there was no left out child and if I was buying birthday stuff and cake etc for one child then gifts for 3 others 4 months of the year the cost is a bit ridiculous tbh. Birthdays are special for the birthday child but they are also a family day so usually it’s a lovely time for the kids, no expectation that they should get something. Each to their own,

Kottbullar · 17/02/2021 14:41

@OhCaptain
How is it then? Genuinely would like to know why people do it!

It's just like giving them a little treat any other time of the year. It's not expected or even talked about.

ohisay · 17/02/2021 14:43

We don't do it with presents, but we often have days out for birthdays, so they share the joy of that.
Everyone has their own way of doing things don't they - If you can afford it, and everyone's happy, no harm done is there!

OhCaptain · 17/02/2021 14:46

@Kottbullar but it’s not like any other time. It’s on someone else’s birthday! Why can’t they just get their own stuff on their own birthdays?

naptune · 17/02/2021 14:50

Mine are only little, but I don’t intend to. I really don’t like that sort of stuff, I have a family member who buys her DC a whole load of presents when it’s their siblings birthday and let’s them both blow out the candles. If it works for you then fine but it makes me feel weird

Neotraditional · 17/02/2021 14:50

Yes I do this. The one not celebrating their birthday only gets a little something but I think it’s nice that they don’t feel left out.

Neither child is spoilt or entitled to whoever suggested they would be. How odd to think that Hmm