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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you buy present for all children on one child’s birthday?

146 replies

MotherToBee · 17/02/2021 13:00

Does anyone buy your other children a little present when it’s their siblings birthday?

Personally I would not.
Defo not, teaching the kids they should get something as well as they will end up spoilt and entitled.
They was not born on that day why take it away from the child who actually has the birthday.
Each to their own no judgments passed though!

OP posts:
Tvci5 · 17/02/2021 14:54

Yes we always did this, two children close together. It would be something small usually relating to one of the birthday child's presents, it seemed to help them play and share well together.
They've both grown into good humans so I do t think we ruined them

Member984815 · 17/02/2021 14:54

No , my mil used to bring stuff for my son on my elder daughter birthday and it drove me daft he has his own birthday and she didn't bring something for her on it , she favours him . Still does. I just used to put it away and not make a big deal of it

Kottbullar · 17/02/2021 14:57

@OhCaptain
They could I suppose but it wouldn't be as celebratory. I don't see it as any different to a party bag or wedding favour.
I know you probably won't understand it. It's one of those little traditions like Christmas Eve hampers, Christmas stockings, Valentines gifts or Easter baskets that you either 'get' or you don't.
I didn't have any of the above as a child but I did have an unbirthday present. My children get stockings although I hate doing them and they get unbirthday presents.

BlueTimes · 17/02/2021 15:00

What a judgemental OP, despite claiming the contrary.

I buy my children gifts when it is my youngest DD’s birthday. She is dead so it is our way of continuing that day as a celebration on her behalf.

Luckyrabbitfoot · 17/02/2021 15:00

@Neotraditional

Yes I do this. The one not celebrating their birthday only gets a little something but I think it’s nice that they don’t feel left out.

Neither child is spoilt or entitled to whoever suggested they would be. How odd to think that Hmm

Why would they feel left out though? Surely you explain that it would be their birthday on X date and this birthday is all about [sibling].
Luckyrabbitfoot · 17/02/2021 15:02

@BlueTimes

What a judgemental OP, despite claiming the contrary.

I buy my children gifts when it is my youngest DD’s birthday. She is dead so it is our way of continuing that day as a celebration on her behalf.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your DD. That is a lovely way of celebrating her. The example given in the op though is completely different!
WhitechapelFatberg · 17/02/2021 15:02

I encourage the other child to see sharing the party treats and cake as a win for them.

FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken · 17/02/2021 15:03

I have bought something for my toddler for his sisters birthday in the summer. Its because she has a birthday really near christmas and I think that's a bit rubbish for her and it's a long time to wait for a whole year and then get to sets of presents right next to each other. It's only a sticker book for a couple of quid though and she would he fine without it

Mysillystory · 17/02/2021 15:03

Usually no, but It was my friends birthday and her sons, and I felt bad about leaving her daughter out so I got her a little present too.

Ashard20 · 17/02/2021 15:10

Yes, as a Grandma. They love those little mini sweet pizzas so all three get one of those, including the birthday child, and a few silly sweets and then maybe a set of stickers or a t.shirt each. But then, we live a long way away from them and Grandma's birthday parcels are part of their tradition now. (They're 8,6,and 4). The birthday child obviously gets his bigger present(s) from us too, but each one of them is as excited about the little silly present, even on their own birthday and they recognise it as a lovely, silly something Grandma does. Their parents don't do it but really big up the fact that I do. They're definitely not spoilt. I don't get to buy them sweets or treats through the week or at weekends so it evens out.
I didn't do it for my own as I have a 19 year gap between them!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 17/02/2021 15:13

No, I dont really understand why you would.

Birthdays are fun, siblings get to enjoy cake, parties, any outings that happen too.

Davros · 17/02/2021 15:18

Catflapkitkat I had Fuzzy Felt circus, I absolutely loved it

SmeleanorSmellstrop · 17/02/2021 15:22

Yes, had it done for me as a child and will do for mine. Just a small gift. Makes birthdays lovely and exciting for all.

Akire · 17/02/2021 15:27

It’s different if your kids are 2 and 4 and will all play with each other gifts. But if you have a 2y who’s over excited and toys for an 8y old that have to be kept out of his reach it’s hard explain they are not from him and he has wait 6m to their birthday. They still have to wait and learn the world is not for them it’s just something make it bit more bearable.

thegreylady · 17/02/2021 15:35

I did when my grandchildren were very small but not after age 7 or so.

Ijustlikedthename · 17/02/2021 15:52

No

Flyingf1edgelings · 17/02/2021 16:04

I buy something small for the non birthday dc they are definitely not spoiled or demand anything.

WhereIsMyMojo · 17/02/2021 16:07

Yes I do. I always get a little something for the other child at a fraction of the cost to the main present. It’s amazing how a tiny gift equivalent to a Stocking filler can make their day and they both get in on the birthday celebrations. They are 5 and 7.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 17/02/2021 16:09

Nope. 4 kids and they don't get stuff on each others birthdays. I think it's a really important skill to learn that sometimes it's about other people. They can enjoy the cake and nice food. That's enough.

Toddlerteaplease · 17/02/2021 16:10

My parents did. But I'm not sure if I would. It's not necessary.

OhCaptain · 17/02/2021 16:10

@MissBaskinIfYoureNasty

Nope. 4 kids and they don't get stuff on each others birthdays. I think it's a really important skill to learn that sometimes it's about other people. They can enjoy the cake and nice food. That's enough.
That’s how I feel. Mine have always enjoyed siblings’ birthdays without getting a present for nothing!
Worried830410 · 17/02/2021 16:10

Yes I would. Just a token something small for the one whose birthday it isn't.

Nonnymum · 17/02/2021 16:11

I did when my children were growing up and they haven't grown up to be entitled, or greedy. It was just something small . And I do the same with my grandchildren. The birthday child gets more. The other just a small treat

RubyandPearl · 17/02/2021 16:13

I do - its just a tradition we have (partly because 2 daughters birthdays 2 weeks apart and the other isnt for 6 months). More often than not the birthday girl is excited to see what her siblings have got too

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 17/02/2021 16:14

My little people get a book on a siblings birthday