A friend accused me of being snoopy during Zoom/Teams meetings

[IknowIch]

I am long-term MN NC user.
English second language.

So to get on with it, I expressed to a friend I judge colleagues' background (e.g. type of wall paper, paint colour, decor, etc) during Zoom/Teams meetings, such as a laptop not on a desk or senior staff members with no home libraries or dedicated workspace.

Am I the only one who snoops into other's houses during meetings?

@YouAreYourBestThing
I’d hope the majority people know this is a difficult situation and they don’t judge people on their home.

[quote Cherryberrypies]@YouAreYourBestThing
I’d hope the majority people know this is a difficult situation and they don’t judge people on their home.[/quote]
Thank you...it never occurred to me that they might be looking over my shoulder at the (god awful 🤦‍♀️) green flowery wallpaper and judging my decor!

I may have to put a disclaimer on the first slide of my next Loom ppt...PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME...I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE WALLPAPER!

Sorry OP but I think you're being really really U for doing this. Why tf does it matter to you? You sound nasty and judgemental tbh

Oo there's lots of people pretending not to be judgey this morning especially when they are are judging your choice of words when English is your second language! We all judge other peoples homes you're just meant to pretend you don't. I've always judged people for having jo books in their house especially if they have a really big TV but you can't see that on zoom calls. Judging cause someone's poor and judging cause they have money but no taste are two different things...

I zoom from my bed, as the DCs are usually at the dining table doing homework. So my background is pillows, bedstead and a wall. I happen to have lots of books, but no chance to virtue signal them.

My husband is working in our back bedroom which is now a "home office"...it's in the middle of being decorated so just has plastered walls...meanwhile i lm usually on teams meeting in the middle of the afternoon, muted and glaring at the kids...so I judge you for being a judgemental twat.

So bloody rude!

@Crumpetsandhoney

Oo there's lots of people pretending not to be judgey this morning especially when they are are judging your choice of words when English is your second language! We all judge other peoples homes you're just meant to pretend you don't. I've always judged people for having jo books in their house especially if they have a really big TV but you can't see that on zoom calls. Judging cause someone's poor and judging cause they have money but no taste are two different things...

But you have no idea if people have books in their house or not, unless they give you a guided tour. You might have a big TV in the living room but wall to wall books in a bedroom or upstairs room that your visitors don't see.

During a meeting this morning the cat came in and graced the litter tray, well out of view of the camera. Just as well Teams doesn't offer smell-o-vision.

@Crumpetsandhoney

Oo there's lots of people pretending not to be judgey this morning especially when they are are judging your choice of words when English is your second language! We all judge other peoples homes you're just meant to pretend you don't. I've always judged people for having jo books in their house especially if they have a really big TV but you can't see that on zoom calls. Judging cause someone's poor and judging cause they have money but no taste are two different things...

It's pretty tasteless and poor form to put the judgement of absolutely-none-of-your-business things like people's homes, into words. Were you never taught that? That's a shame, for you.

Name-changing just to write a contentious post = cowardly.

I'm always quick to jump to someone's defence when they're critiqued on SPaG but it's hard to know when the second-language issue starts and the judgemental crap overlaps with it? On balance, OP can fend for themselves and hit the report button.

Most of my colleague blur their background or put one of the fake ones on.

I love having a nosey though when people allow it 😁

It's pretty tasteless and poor form to put the judgement of absolutely-none-of-your-business things like people's homes, into words. Were you never taught that? That's a shame, for you.

I think this may be a cultural thing. OP has said English isn't her first language so maybe she was taught different things from you and maybe thats not necessarily wrong.

@Scarlettpixie

Most of my colleague blur their background or put one of the fake ones on.

I love having a nosey though when people allow it 😁

I didn't know you could blur on zoom, I manged it on Teams.

@ElderMillennial

It's pretty tasteless and poor form to put the judgement of absolutely-none-of-your-business things like people's homes, into words. Were you never taught that? That's a shame, for you.

I think this may be a cultural thing. OP has said English isn't her first language so maybe she was taught different things from you and maybe thats not necessarily wrong.

I don't believe this to be true. OP's grasp of English isn't an issue, what she publicly posts, is. The OP was goady and intended to be so hence the name change. Job done. We're all bored this afternoon, possibly.

I work from the dining table, no room for a separate desk. Small house here, single parent, 2 teens, all of us trying to work. Camera faces out the window, so all you'd see is a tidy yard, nothing of the inside of the house.

This is why I sit with a white background behind me and we’ve just redone my husbands office to a plain wall too. I hate the thought of people judging my house :(

My DD bought her first flat during the first lockdown and has been working hard decorating it. One of her proudest moments was when someone thought her spare room/office was a Zoom background. No books in it though. Even though she is a voracious reader she uses a kindle and most of her 'proper' books are still in her bedroom here.

Yes it's fine to have a wee snoop but you sound horrible for judging people if their home offices dont live up to your standards.

You have no idea about peoples personal circumstances, in my home we have 2 adults working from home and I work at the kitchen table.

Focus on the quality of their work and not their backgrounds as you are coming across as a very rude snob

I suppose I am more concerned that you are 'judging' people. That is a strong word. It would be more interesting to explore this need to judge. A light pink colour, though not to my taste, could be really nice if fitting with the home. As for the work situation, not everyone has the space to create this tranquil work space. I have 5 people at home. I am downstairs with the kids at the biggest workspace. However, my kids do pop into the screen from time to time. This is the reality of what we are living. My husband is in our office as he has back to back calls. I move to a bedroom when I have a private call, but it is a bedroom for a child. We are all just doing the best we can do at the moment. Is it always ideal. No. Do we make mistakes yes.

I have a lovely home. People like you are the reason I always have a fake background on video calls.

Yesterday my cat decided she didn't like her breakfast just as I was starting a zoom meeting.
Colleagues entertained by half an hour of madam having a strop:

• marching back and forth across the back of the sofa, with progressively rude tail gestures,
• trying to climb on the laptop
• sitting on my lap and glaring at them,

• scratching a chair...
• her finale was jumping down the back of the sofa giving them a delightful view of her bum as she did so.

Thankfully she then fell asleep for a while.

I think that snooping and commenting on people's homes on Zoom is INCREDIBLY rude.

My husband has to do his zoom calls from our shabby sitting room slash bedroom slash office!
Its shabby because while he's working all the hours God sends and I am trying to keep four youngsters happy and enjoying life, I have not got time to re-decorate!
Those who judge others on what they do or don't have tells me more about them than they will ever know about us...

I feel embarrassed that my home looks too nice. Seeing people in their 30s having to work on top of their beds etc makes me feel guilty. What must they think of chandelier in the background?

@Empressofthemundane

I feel embarrassed that my home looks too nice. Seeing people in their 30s having to work on top of their beds etc makes me feel guilty. What must they think of chandelier in the background?

I'm embarrassed for you for feeling the need to say what you've just said.

And every Tom, dick and Harry has a chandelier these days, they're nothing special 😂

I mean it’s not unreasonable to look but it’s pretty unreasonable to make judgements about it. People didn’t just get the chance to up and move homes to accommodate working from home if they didn’t happen to have a home office pre-covid.