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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think all Mumsnetters are on top of life admin

310 replies

Southern · 15/02/2021 14:32

Just that really, it's been a bit hectic lately and I feel like I have fallen behind on stuff. I read some threads for tips on here and most MN'ers responses were quite scathing towards those who weren't on top of life admin which to be honest, made me feel like a bit of a failure. Is everyone on here on top of everything and always goes on comparison sites to check all their quotes etc? The amount of form filling just fills me with dread and sends me on a procrastination loop (which is why I am here typing this probably)...... for those who are on top of it, when do you do it?

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 15/02/2021 19:37

Only on MN is paying some bills/booking an MOT and a few dentist appointments a year called life admin.
In the real world, the rest of us do these quick/easy ‘tasks’ with barely a second thought.

SummerSazz · 15/02/2021 19:37

Today I have been to the dentist with the kids

  • now need to book 3 more visits plus 2x hygienist - usually 10 min wait on the phone to get through...
  • I've finally completed some share transfer forms from mums estate from 2019 (spent 2 hours on hold to try and get through and ask a couple of Q's - finally have up after 3rd fruitless call)
  • went to top up my pension before April abs the charges showing on the app are higher than I've previously paid (had to go back through filing to confirm that. So have sent an email asking them to confirm before I can action it
  • booked a vets appointment for thurs as it seems puppy may not have got immunity from initial jabs
  • paid my daughters guides subs but need to check if their camp trip in aug is likely to go ahead
  • paid my car tax

O/s things are to do are:

  • finishing all the above
- chasing the window people who came out to quote pre Xmas
  • chasing the landscapers whose quote we agreed 3 weeks ago
  • finalise DD1's gcse choices
  • read all the school emails and action anything from the past week
  • re-order puppy food (loads is out of stock so I need to go through and find alternatives
  • choose and order a loo roll holder and towel rail for the utility room
  • filing of paperwork since Xmas (focus prior to that was tax return for me and for mums estate)

I work (more than) FT and have two children home schooling. The tasks can rarely be completed in '2 mins' alongside dog walking, cooking, washing etc

So I'm totally with you OP!!!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 15/02/2021 19:38

I am organised about money.

Agree with other people though, "life admin" doesn't take much time at all in our house. There's an initial investment of 2 or 3 hours to set up spreadsheets and calendar reminders and email forwarding rules etc, then it's no more than an hour or 2 a week. I say that as someone working full time with two kids, on the pta, doing the batch cooking etc.... I can't possibly see how life admin is ever part of the justification for needing a SAHP when kids are at school.

helpfulperson · 15/02/2021 19:39

I'm on top of life admin in the sense that everything is on direct debit or auto renew so if I dont do anything I will still have utilities and various insurances. Am I on the cheapest/best deal at all time? Usually no. Booking holidays - now that bit of life admin I'm amazing at although a little out of practise lately.

SummerSazz · 15/02/2021 19:39

@SummerSazz

Today I have been to the dentist with the kids
  • now need to book 3 more visits plus 2x hygienist - usually 10 min wait on the phone to get through...
  • I've finally completed some share transfer forms from mums estate from 2019 (spent 2 hours on hold to try and get through and ask a couple of Q's - finally have up after 3rd fruitless call)
  • went to top up my pension before April abs the charges showing on the app are higher than I've previously paid (had to go back through filing to confirm that. So have sent an email asking them to confirm before I can action it
  • booked a vets appointment for thurs as it seems puppy may not have got immunity from initial jabs
  • paid my daughters guides subs but need to check if their camp trip in aug is likely to go ahead
  • paid my car tax

O/s things are to do are:

  • finishing all the above
- chasing the window people who came out to quote pre Xmas
  • chasing the landscapers whose quote we agreed 3 weeks ago
  • finalise DD1's gcse choices
  • read all the school emails and action anything from the past week
  • re-order puppy food (loads is out of stock so I need to go through and find alternatives
  • choose and order a loo roll holder and towel rail for the utility room
  • filing of paperwork since Xmas (focus prior to that was tax return for me and for mums estate)

I work (more than) FT and have two children home schooling. The tasks can rarely be completed in '2 mins' alongside dog walking, cooking, washing etc

So I'm totally with you OP!!!

And I've only managed this as I've had a day 'off' today. Still worked about 5 hours mind you 🤨
SteveBrexit · 15/02/2021 19:41

@maddiemookins16mum

Only on MN is paying some bills/booking an MOT and a few dentist appointments a year called life admin. In the real world, the rest of us do these quick/easy ‘tasks’ with barely a second thought.
some of us have a busier life than others....

which should be absolutely fine

but not sure it's worth boasting about low expectation and activity level.

SteveBrexit · 15/02/2021 19:44

Only on MN would people guffaw and mock others for having a lot to organise Grin

screams of jealousy!

BackforGood · 15/02/2021 19:44

Thankyou @sammylady37. That is an excellent suggestion.

However, I wasn't saying this stuff takes over my life or overwhelms me, I was merely challenging another poster who was being very dismissive of others, saying that these jobs "take two mins". I only gave that as one example of how rare it is for things to actually be a two minute job. Smile

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/02/2021 19:47

@SteveBrexit

Only on MN would people guffaw and mock others for having a lot to organise Grin

screams of jealousy!

Well I for one won't anymore since it isn't about organising but it's about absolutely everything! I now must leave and life admin source good shaver from bathroom cabinet (life admin tie the fucking door as well since I am now thinking about it) and life admin the crap out of my leg hair.
SteveBrexit · 15/02/2021 19:51

SchrodingersImmigrant

it isn't about organising but it's about absolutely everything! Confused
what do you think it is? It is so ridiculously obvious your joke about personal hygiene being part of it is not remotely funny.

so you are also laughing at women and their "mental load" as it doesn't exist for you?

brownet · 15/02/2021 19:55

Well I for one won't anymore since it isn't about organising but it's about absolutely everything!

It can be whatever you want it to be for you.

SciFiScream · 15/02/2021 19:58

I'm on top of it because I decide what needs done and then delegate to DH Grin

brownet · 15/02/2021 19:59

I now must leave and life admin source good shaver from bathroom cabinet

I wouldn't consider opening a cabinet door as life admin. It's not something I have to plan, think about or research how to do. But we are all different!

SquirrelFan · 15/02/2021 20:00

People are being really dismissive here - I think "life admin" comes naturally to some people but not others. Like, how do you remember /keep all your passwords? I have no idea. Anytime I want to do anything, I have to change my password! A PP mentioned spreadsheets - I don't know how to use /make them! Thanks to a PP who mentioned 'click occurs annually' - I didn't know that was an option so I have just messed around with my calendar and successfully entered my anniversary! I get anxious doing anything official, I'm afraid I'll get it wrong! So more often than not, I'll put it off.

CSIblonde · 15/02/2021 20:07

Once you have direct debits set up for utilities,WiFi, council tax etc which is 2mins each, the rest is still quick & easy. Cup of coffee & internet search for best car insurance deal isn't 'work'. You can book Dr appts online, set calendar reminders for 10 days before boiler & car service is due etc. If you do it as you go along it's just everyday stuff. If you label it & make a big thing of it , doing lots of stuff in chunks all at the same time ,then it will seem like a 'chore'.

Respectmyauthoritah · 15/02/2021 20:08

I got my car insurance renewal invitation from Tesco today. I then went on a comparison website and found a quote that was £200 cheaper, with Tesco Hmm

That's more than enough life admin for me today. I'll bask in the glory of my £200 saving for a few days before attempting to book a service.

Waxonwaxoff0 · 15/02/2021 20:10

I don't have any "life admin." Occasionally I book a dentist appointment or eye test. That's it!

Cruncheyleaves · 15/02/2021 20:10

I'm on top of admin but never on top of the house work especially mopping the floor.

SteveBrexit · 15/02/2021 20:10

Just the homeschooling currently take me at least 1 hour to prepare and organise every evening! And it's still hard to do my job around it during the day.

I feel on top of things, because I like to be organised, but it's work. Anything that needs to be done when I could be doing something a lot more interesting is a chore, and most is life admin.

Even food shopping. Maybe I am crap at it, but it takes me more than 2 minutes a week to have a vague idea of what we'll eat and what to order in my online shop, and check what we need and what we don't.

It also take me a lot more than 30 seconds to plan birthday parties, research presents and order stuff.

and the list goes on.

SteveBrexit · 15/02/2021 20:12

nternet search for best car insurance deal isn't 'work'.

no, it's life admin, that's the point. If you were doing it for your boss and paid for it, it would be "work".
Obviously it's everyday stuff, what else would it be.

As soon as it takes time away from what you would rather do, it IS a chore.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/02/2021 20:20

@SquirrelFan i rotate 3 passwords. They are pretty hard so it's fine.you always have 3 tries so it's always one of them.
I make them by chosing a song (well 3), using 1 letter of each word in part of a chorus and then add a number(s). One is with that godforsaken special character🙄. Read once in news intervoew that that's a really good a solid password then.
It is always fun when you are angry at the website for "wrong oassword" and so you end up singing some ridiculous song to get the first characters😁

SchrodingersImmigrant · 15/02/2021 20:20

@SteveBrexit

SchrodingersImmigrant

it isn't about organising but it's about absolutely everything! Confused
what do you think it is? It is so ridiculously obvious your joke about personal hygiene being part of it is not remotely funny.

so you are also laughing at women and their "mental load" as it doesn't exist for you?

Wasn't a joke. Smooth as a baby
Jenala · 15/02/2021 20:27

Interesting all these people who are saying certian things are 2 minute tasks when they clearly aren't. Perhaps it depends how detail oriented you are? For example I want the best insurance deal so every year when car insurance is up I check 3 comparison sites plus a couple of insurers that aren't on them. It's not huge work and it's once a year but it takes awhile just the physical inputting the forms. I then pay it with credit card 1, and once it's cleared have to remember to balance transfer to credit card 2 so I can pay it off interest free. So it all feels a bit of fuss each year. If I just checked one comparison site or just renewed and could either pay it outright or didn't mind the higher cost of direct debit then yeah, it'd be a smaller job.

My phone contract upgrade was hideously expensive so then it was a bit of research to decide on a phone, some time browsing different third party upgrade sites, then having to ring them and sit on hold when I turned out not to be in stock. Again I could just not care about handset or price but I didn't want the latest £70 a month phone nor did I want a shitty low end £20 one, I wanted a slightly older high end one that networks don't sell anymore. My fault I made more admin but its another example of it being a bigger job.

Similarly I budget all bills and everything I spend on YNAB which adds a bit of time. Not everyone cares about that fiddly shit but I can't seem to help it so I do it.

I'm not saying my way is better or worse just that everyone will have different priorities so a small task for some people is bigger for others.

I'm not a sahp justifying my existence, I'm a social worker which is basically a long list of admin tasks and listening to upset people so that probably doesn't help.

Sugarandteaandmum · 15/02/2021 20:27

None of the jobs take very long, it's the mental energy of "not forgetting" them that is draining

It's this, and also that some people do have a lot.

Kids with SEN, grandad with dementia, pursuing consultant to keep prescribing my HRT which isn't happening properly, buy new car, check out secondary schools, book someone to do garden, bedside light broke! so need another one, kids sport & music equipment needs sorting, new smoke alarm, cats to vet.... nobody says it's the same as a full time job but you do have to be aware of it and schedule time to do it.

brownet · 15/02/2021 20:42

Maybe I am crap at it, but it takes me more than 2 minutes a week to have a vague idea of what we'll eat and what to order in my online shop, and check what we need and what we don't.

Takes me 2 mins to decide what I want for breakfast unless I have a craving.