To be cringing at all the look how in love we are valintines posts on social media

[Hahaha88]

Maybe I'm just old and cold hearted but it honestly makes me cringe seeing my social media flooded with posts about how much they love their other half and pics of their cards and gifts for valentines day. Surely no one actually cares or wants to see?! Am I alone in this?
Fwiw I am happily in love with my partner, but I manage to tell him to his face not plant it all over the Internet 🤦🏻‍♀️

I never do it as I am not comfortable showing my emotions to others. I don't mind other people sharing their love with their fb friends. I have a cat I think is wonderful and I am forever putting up pictures of her. I have to stop myself putting them up even more frequently than I do. I'm not trying to make others think my cat is better than she is or give a false impression of my cat. I just think she is great and don't really believe that other people won't be delighted to see more pictures of her.

It's all the same thing. We all put up what we want to share with others. We can mock our friends and be nasty about they put up. We can scroll past. We can share their pleasure in what they are sharing with us. If you don't want to put anything up about valentines day then don't. Other people can.

I’m sure many do seek validation from SM. Some/many will be insecure about themselves. Probably some are overcompensating for their relationship going through a rough patch. When did people being down about themselves become something fun to bitch about?

I find it a bit over the top. I do think there's an element of attention seeking there. This also goes for the photos of everything the fella brought them

You do realise that social media in no way resembles real life, don't you?

Does it not? Oh.. that's funny because I recently posted a pic of my bump at 32 weeks pregnant and ... last time the midwife checked... I was in fact 32 weeks pregnant. Strange. 🤔

We are gushy all year round, and proud. No relationship issues here either. In fact I think it’s pretty unusual to be happily loved up and feel sorry for anyone who does not have that in their lives

I’m always happy to see those kinds of things. And photos of children. And pet photos. And updates on people’s jobs. On the rare occasions someone repeatedly posts something I don’t like I mute them for a bit. I can understand someone deliberately not checking social media on Valentine’s Day or Christmas if they’re feeling unhappy, but it seems strange to begrudge happy posts from your friends!

@VashtaNerada

I’m always happy to see those kinds of things. And photos of children. And pet photos. And updates on people’s jobs. On the rare occasions someone repeatedly posts something I don’t like I mute them for a bit. I can understand someone deliberately not checking social media on Valentine’s Day or Christmas if they’re feeling unhappy, but it seems strange to begrudge happy posts from your friends!

Agreed.

I never do it as I am not comfortable showing my emotions to others. I don't mind other people sharing their love with their fb friends. I have a cat I think is wonderful and I am forever putting up pictures of her. I have to stop myself putting them up even more frequently than I do. I'm not trying to make others think my cat is better than she is or give a false impression of my cat. I just think she is great and don't really believe that other people won't be delighted to see more pictures of her.

Your comment here captures perfectly many people's motivation for posting happy aspects of their lives on social media. It's not necessarily always about insecurity, need for validation and (the worst one yet) "attention". Sometimes it really is quite as straightforward as you're happy about something in your life and you want to share that happiness with your social networks, on the assumption that they are nice people who will be happy for you also.

But why do you need to post on social media to celebrate the day and love you have for each other? I'm not meaning this nastily but do you really think most of the people who see it give a damn?

Do you feel the same when you see people's wedding pictures? Their kids first birthday party? The birth of their first baby? Their graduation pictures from years of hard work and study? Presumably these people on your social media account who you choose to follow (let's not forget that, otherwise you wouldn't seeing it in the first place) are your friends or family, right? So you aren't happy for them, when they share a happy occasion? Your first thought is "who gives a damn".

Can I suggest that possibly says more about you than it does them?

DP and I look extremely happy on FB because we actually are in real life. People like to think those who post are secretly really unhappy. Sorry to disappoint but we could not be happier.

It makes me smile when it is people I know who have been together a long time and are happy and don’t constantly gush over each other on social media to prove themselves.
It makes me sad when it’s someone who I know when behind the scenes her partner is a nasty piece of work because I know it’s fake and she and her dc are not happy.

People wouldn't post a picture of themselves looking miserable on FB, unless for a joke, so it's hard to tell if it's all for show or genuine when everything is all smiley and happy. It's what you want to show the world.

That said I don't even have FB, I am happy but have nothing to prove.

My husband put a couple of photos up of me and our DC and wrote some sweet words. Not sure where all the lies about people if FB always being secretly miserable. We couldn’t be happier! We also had a lovely day celebrating at home together privately - he just wanted to share a few words with us for all to see on FB. I think when people are in love / overjoyed sometimes they like talking and sharing with their friends and family.. it’s just a source of happiness for them and together want to tell everyone they know!

The reason everything is filtered on Instagram etc is to curate your life - showing you at your best. Social media is for the most about validation - you actually get a dopamine hit in your brain when you get comments/likes. Even when you post your cat - it’s because you love your cat and want other people to tell you your cat is cute etc or like the picture. If no one ever said anything you would probably stop uploading cat pictures. Or you would upload them but convince yourself it was brightening everyone’s day , even if no one responded.
People should just be honest and stop pretending that this isn’t the reason they post stuff . The arguments for wanting to show family and friends - surely they are in your Phone contacts? Send them the pics direct or set up a family/friend album . Polly from primary school and Bob from work - you want them to see too though and you want to get those likes !
I don’t use sm anymore and not bothered, therefore, what people post - but people pretending they are posting for reasons other than their ego are just not true

I would agree with that @Hubblebubble75, no point posting your happy pics if not for positive reactions and replies.

FB isn't somewhere to store your photos.

@WeAreTryingToHaveATeamsCall

I sometimes wonder if there's anything we're actually ALLOWED to post on social media anymore? According to Mumsnet, posting about your partner in any shape or form is forbidden, shouldn't post about date nights, can't post engagement announcements, wedding photos, children's achievements or any form of good news? Should we all just post a roundup of the miserable news we've seen each day?

Perhaps you should be able to post whatever you like; so long as it's the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

So no posting about how lucky you are to have your partner, even though it's no secret that you hate his guts.

Kids passed their 11 plus? Don't forget to clarify whether it was actually their own ability or whether they were coached to within an inch of their lives.

I sometimes wonder if there's anything we're actually ALLOWED to post on social media anymore? According to Mumsnet, posting about your partner in any shape or form is forbidden, shouldn't post about date nights, can't post engagement announcements, wedding photos, children's achievements or any form of good news? Should we all just post a roundup of the miserable news we've seen each day?

Yep, let's all just wallow and post the shit that happened that day. If you can't beat the miserable sods, might as well join them 🤣

I honestly can't get upset about it although I do agree to an extent that it seems to be an obligatory post on the 14th (from people who usually don't post anything about their other halves the rest of the year).

people pretending they are posting for reasons other than their ego are just not true

I wonder if some people understand the true meaning of the term "ego". In psychological terms, it is the recognition of the self as a distinct person from others - it's literally about your sense of identity and who you are as a person. That's where the term originates from. So... Why do we do anything in this life that involves social connection with others? Because our sense of selves as humans is socially defined. Very, very few of us live in an isolated vacuum away from any social sense of who we are and where we fit in in a societal sense. When you understand this, it's not hard to see that of course people post "for their ego" (i.e identity / sense of self), since an important part of one's ego is the social context of that identity. Everything we do that involves human connection - everything - is intrinsically linked to our socially defined identity.

This isn't pathological, or wrong, or "attention seeking"... it's normal human behaviour.

I like seeing happy posts, but roll my eyes at gushing posts.
Happy = 'What a nice day for a Valentine's day walk' / 'Happy Valentine's Day' (with selfie)
Gushing = 'Happy Valentine's Day to the best hubby in the world. I'm so lucky to have spent the last 2354 days with you. You make me a better version of myself and I'm so complete having you in my life. DC are blessed to have such an amazing daddy. Thank you so much for my flowers, beautiful card, breakfast in bed, gifts. #DateNightWithThisOne #BoyDoneGood' (photos of flowers, cards, selfie kissing)

I'm also inclined to think that if someone can't tell the difference between happy and gushing then the likelihood is they probably fall into the gushing camp.

It's the same when posting about a child's achievement. Some people say "DC came 1st in the athletics today and we've had a great day" and most people will think 'how lovely'. Someone else might write "DC we are so unbelievably proud of you. Well done on coming 1st in athletics. You are simply brilliant and a natural athlete. All those hours of sitting by the track with you were worth it sweetie. Your coaches always tell us you're one of the most exceptional talents they have ever seen. Mummy and Daddy are so lucky to have such an amazing child." Most people would read that and roll their eyes at a parent who is clearly one of those insufferable boasters who feels they have something to prove.

People in the gushy/boasting camp can be spotted on mumsnet threads because they say so nobody should ever post anything nice at all about anything like ever then? People are so miserable if they get triggered by seeing something happy.

Ego is a corrupting element in us - the part seeking validation, needing reassurance etc social media is not good for the ego and studies have shown it is often used by those with low self esteem to boost their ego unhealthily.
Much better to spend time with real people, making real connections on calls etc

You're all being mean and nasty.
True love should be celebrated .
You're all Jealous.
Posting pictures of cards and gifts on face book proves the couple is really in love and wants to shout that love to the world.

@Hubblebubble75

Ego is a corrupting element in us - the part seeking validation, needing reassurance etc social media is not good for the ego and studies have shown it is often used by those with low self esteem to boost their ego unhealthily. Much better to spend time with real people, making real connections on calls etc

I am referring to the origins of the word and how it is used in psychological theory and research.

For some people, SM might be damaging to their self esteem, yes, if their sense of self worth is entirely dependent on feedback from others.

For others, with a healthily balance of interaction in both the "real world" and SM, who don't depend entirely upon feedback from others to feel positively (ie - it's a nice feeling when it happens but they equally feel good about themselves in other contexts) - SM is entirely a healthy way to connect.

Most people would read that and roll their eyes at a parent who is clearly one of those insufferable boasters who feels they have something to prove.

It's interesting how you would keep someone on your friends list, or continue to follow their content on SM, if you viewed them as an "insufferable boaster with something to prove". If I felt so negatively towards a person, I can't think why I would continue to observe their life via social media ...