To be cringing at all the look how in love we are valintines posts on social media

[Hahaha88]

Maybe I'm just old and cold hearted but it honestly makes me cringe seeing my social media flooded with posts about how much they love their other half and pics of their cards and gifts for valentines day. Surely no one actually cares or wants to see?! Am I alone in this?
Fwiw I am happily in love with my partner, but I manage to tell him to his face not plant it all over the Internet 🤦🏻‍♀️

Soppy messages are fine, I quite like them, but photos of gifts - designer handbags and huge bunches of roses are v v v v v v v v v v v v v tacky

I always hope my friends are happy and in lurrrve as they portray on social media.

I never put anything personal on as I don’t want to.

But if it makes them happy 🤷🏻‍♀️ and I don’t have to read or pay attention to the posts.

Not everything that goes on social media is about "validation" from others.

Where did I say it was?

What I said was if you believe that some people only frown on SM posts because they want to do it themselves but do it on MN instead in a superior way & don't own it then equally there are some people who like to show off & need validation on facebook but don't own it. Or do you disagree?

The rest of your post is irrelevant because I didn't say SM is only ever used for validation.

[quote LilMidge01]**@Hahaha88* I'm not meaning this nastily but do you really think most of the people who see it give a damn?*

Umm...I would think if your 'friends' don't care that you're happy then maybe they're not 'friends' but nasty lurkers waiting to pass judgement and comment

I don't post long tributes but I used to be snooty and judgey of those who posted pics when I was in my long-term 10 year relationship. Typical "oh, they must secretly be unhappy, why cant they say it to their partner privately". I'm now so embarrassed I was like that.

After that relationship ended, I had some tough times, never thought I'd find love again, and now have a wonderful DP who I love very much and is a far better relationship than previously. I occasionally post cute date night photos....most of my friends appreciate seeing that I am happy because they love me and care about me. Otherwise they are not friends. I don't need the validation to be happy in my relationship. It;s just sometimes nice. People that judge others on this unforrtunately are being nasty, whether you like to admit it or not. I also thought I wasn't being "nasty"...but I was. If the pandemic has taught us anything, surely its to appreciate our loved ones and say things out loud....its none of your business to judge how genuine it is or not.[/quote]
Real friends are in your phone contact list , send a picture there or better set up a shared album. Facebook ‘friends’ from work or primary school, or people you don’t speak to year after year aren’t friends.
I’m so glad I’ve come off social media and currently reading a great book about a journalist who became depressed thirsting for likes on social media platforms until she barely knew what was real or filtered anymore, she wasn’t living life she was uploading it. I’ll try my hardest to keep dc off of social media !

@brownet

The rest of your post is irrelevant because I didn't say SM is only ever used for validation.

If course it’s for validation. If you upload a picture and no one likes or comments that’s okay ? How many times do you check back to see what likes you have got ? If you say you don’t care , it’s a lie

I meant SM as a whole like if you were part of a community group or club or use it for info.

@Hubblebubble75 you do know you can’t tell people what to post or how to send photos to friends?

And spare me! The chances of your dc staying off SM are practically non-existent. I can’t think of a single industry that doesn’t somehow utilise SM.

People like you are the reason Gen Z mock the older generations mercilessly. This insistence that you’re above SM. It just looks like you’re too old to get it properly.

Just to clarify I do not the post the likes of the below on VD.

Such a cliché but the first Valentine’s Day post I saw on Facebook was by one member of a couple I know are going through a very rocky patch due in part to infertility.

[quote OhCaptain]@Hubblebubble75 you do know you can’t tell people what to post or how to send photos to friends?

And spare me! The chances of your dc staying off SM are practically non-existent. I can’t think of a single industry that doesn’t somehow utilise SM.

People like you are the reason Gen Z mock the older generations mercilessly. This insistence that you’re above SM. It just looks like you’re too old to get it properly.[/quote]
I’m i my thirties so not exactly ancient. It really is vacuous shit sm. It took me a long time to realise. I feel so much better for leaving it behind. Live a good life and don’t seek the validation of others that the life you live is good!

@Crikeycroc

Such a cliché but the first Valentine’s Day post I saw on Facebook was by one member of a couple I know are going through a very rocky patch due in part to infertility.

We have fertility issues but for us and many others I know - you get a new depth of love. Getting through hard stuff together. I wouldn’t say it’s a negative in your feelings for one another at all. I love my dh more than ever for his support and we are living ‘for better, for worse’ right now. Obviously, for others it may not bring you closer but fertility struggles are not some stigma of doom for a relationship.

@Hubblebubble75 you probably think you sound above all that but truth be told you just sound ridiculous!

Don’t lecture people about seeking validation. That’s exactly what you’re doing on here jumping on the “oh, I’m so above all that” bandwagon.

You’re just trying to dress it up as judgement of the people you’re sneering at.

I don’t expect anyone to validate me on here , mn is hardly a place for people to like and agree with you haha ! Why are you getting so angry ? Have I got a nerve? I’m speaking from my experience of being lost in social media ( and I was on all of it ) and how life is so much better when you come off of it.
Of course, people can use it professionally ( I prefer LinkedIn personally) but can understand how some professions can fund it useful for networking etc however most people use it for validation and spend their lives with their heads in their phones . I’ve seen people on the train and escalator falling over because they don’t even look where they’re going as glued to their screens. Having dinner with people that have to take constant pictures of their food. Just come on people - live your life . Yes , I’m above that and glad to have realised before I wasted any more life

Angry? What an odd take on it.

Sorry to disappoint but I already said upthread I don’t really post any of that stuff on Facebook. But I certainly don’t think I’m above anyone who does.

How sad would my life have to be for that to be some sort of medal of honour. But you be proud of it while you’re living your fulfilling existence off SM.

Well done, I guess! 🤣🤣

Thanks 😊

Nearly all my friends posted happy couple photos yesterday with loving messages. So some of you would say that all 12 of them or so are all terribly unhappy and secretly hate each other?

I know someone who buys flowers for herself then posts pictures of them pretending they are from her husband who pays her zero attention. It really is a load of rubbish. If people are genuinely happy with their lives they don't need to convince others by posting these things. They are kidding themselves.

@Daisysflowers

The ones who make me laugh are the ones who do a big post all lovey and soppy with pictures etc etc to their loved one...and their over half isn’t even on Facebook

I honestly wonder if they go ‘here babe look at what I did For you on my Facebook page’🤣

It's also very strange when people post pictures of their baby's on their birthdays saying happy birthday and how much they love them etc when the baby's completely oblivious. Hilarious

This was my post, may as well share here as well.

@Skyla2005

I know someone who buys flowers for herself then posts pictures of them pretending they are from her husband who pays her zero attention. It really is a load of rubbish. If people are genuinely happy with their lives they don't need to convince others by posting these things. They are kidding themselves.

That’s a little bit heartbreaking.

I used to be married to a man who was horrible and obviously never did anything for valentines. I used to hate when colleagues at work asked what we did for valentines/birthday etc.

Maybe that’s why I really don’t mind my friends posting mush on their fb page. I hope it is for real.

@frazzledasarock 😁

If you were to scroll through my social media you would probably assume I was single. I met my dh at 20, 7 years later and I think I could count on one hand the amount of 'cutesy' posts or photos I've shared about our relationship. We're happily married, I just don't feel the need to post it online.
However I don't judge anybody else who does. Nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors, some who post might be unhappy, some might be genuinely happy and just enjoy love. It's none of my business, if I don't want to see it I can just scroll past, unfollow or unfriend people.

Saw loads of these and 3 of the most gushing were from coupes I know have problems (including an affair). Tell your partner you love them but why include anyone else?!

I don't think those who post are actually concealing relationship problems at all! But I do find it unnecessary.

It's just a bit "look how happy and in love we are". I just don't like it because who knows how the person viewing it feels? Perhaps comparing their relationship to the SM one. Or that their DH clearly doesn't love them as much because they didn't have their bed decorated in rose petals. Some people are very insecure and I'd hate to add to that.

It's just unnecessary. You love each other? That's wonderful! But cut out the PDA and keep it to yourselves or to those who actually ask you.

P.s. I am very happy with my DP and we did celebrate VD.