To be cringing at all the look how in love we are valintines posts on social media

[Hahaha88]

Maybe I'm just old and cold hearted but it honestly makes me cringe seeing my social media flooded with posts about how much they love their other half and pics of their cards and gifts for valentines day. Surely no one actually cares or wants to see?! Am I alone in this?
Fwiw I am happily in love with my partner, but I manage to tell him to his face not plant it all over the Internet 🤦🏻‍♀️

Nobody’s ‘telling people what they can and can’t do on their own FB’.

They’re just judging them for it. Bit of a difference.

This site is anonymous. No one knows who anyone else is.

Well that makes all the posters boasting about how wonderful their relationships are (and elsewhere, about how middle class or thin or rich or whatever else) even more pointless than the ones sharing a day with people who have opted to see it. If you want anonymous strangers to be impressed by anonymous you, it shouldn't be too hard to see why people might want to share with others whom they DO know.

I mean, you go on to say this:

Not that I have posted about my relationship here either and I think others have done purely in response to the lame playground jibes about being jealous.

The site's anonymous, you're anonymous, I'm anonymous, yet it's still very important to you to let us all know that you haven't posted about your relationship, presumably because you think that makes you better. And you're sympathetic to the posters who have been stung into doing it over accusations of jealousy. It's all anonymous, so why do any of you care? But you do, so why wouldn't people care when it's NOT anonymous?

The Facebook V Day posters might look silly to some people, but they're not tearing anyone down and their audience has chosen to see the content.

@Willyoujustbequiet

Bloodypunk

Have some as it's clear you didnt get any.

Or I didn't post it all over FB like a needy sad sack.

You keep them pet. Maybe post about it and your gawjus hubs yet

You know this is exactly what Facebook is for? If you don't like it, unfriend these people and let them get on with their happiness.

Bloody hell. I don't make a big fuss on fb but if others want to, why shouldn't they?

You Bunch of fun sponges!

It's what social media is all about I'm afraid. Sharing the good parts of your life, and #woeisme the rest.

Why not just scroll by?
Or unfollow people who,post things you don't like? Or even informed them on social media?

I'm never really sure what MNetters expect to see on social media. The list of what they think isn't acceptable is so long.

And no, I didn't post Valentine's Day stuff. It's nothing me and dh particularly celebrate bar a card perhaps.

Most of my friends don't post about it, a couple do and some younger family do. One always makes me a bit 'mmmm' with their posts as I know the awful time their relationship went through, and what they put one another through, not too lon ago, but most people in their SM don't know about that. But I either like hit 'like' if it's a nice photo and don't think too much about the post, or I scroll by.

I don't mind the gushing. I do find the posting pictures of what gifts you've been given or flowers a bit tacky though.

I think a lot of the posters who hate the V Day sharers are indeed jealous, very much so. It might be because they didn't get the Valentine's Day they wanted, or because their relationships are as busted as they need to believe other people's are. Entirely possible.

But it's just as likely to be because they actually do want to share their experiences like these people did, and get some positive feedback, but they think it's an inferior thing to do so they don't. They can't own this, because it would mean admitting they want to do it. So instead of posting straightforwardly on Facebook about how great their relationships are, they do it on here instead, with some added self congratulations about how superior they are for not doing it on the other site with the smaller reach that's full of people who do actually know and care about them.

But it's just as likely to be because they actually do want to share their experiences like these people did, and get some positive feedback, but they think it's an inferior thing to do so they don't. They can't own this,

I'm sure these people do exist but likely in equal numbers to the ones who like to show off & need validation. They don't own it either though...

So instead of posting straightforwardly on Facebook about how great their relationships are, they do it on here instead, with some added self congratulations about how superior they are for not doing it on the other site with the smaller reach that's full of people who do actually know and care about them.

You seem very annoyed by this thread. Why do you care so much about what strangers here think?

It doesn't really bother me, I quite like the ones where it's just a pic of the two of them and a quick message of love. It's the pictures of flowers and 15 other gifts that make me want to barf. I have one friend who has posted 15 pictures, yes 15, of the gifts she got but not a single picture of her DP, I mean howay.

I'm sure these people do exist but likely in equal numbers to the ones who like to show off & need validation. They don't own it either though...

Don't they? Sharing a pic on Facebook and saying "I lurve my fluffy wuffy snookums" is not everyone's thing, but it is pretty straightforward. Piling in on an anonymous internet forum with endless variants of "Oh, those people are SO PATHETIC, I bet their relationship isn't even as wonderful as the grand passion I have, not that I would ever mention it because I'm so humble and shun all praise and recognition and our love is too true and pure for such base things" is a bit less so.

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom I think you’re on to something!

At the moment I'm just happy to see positive stuff on Facebook rather than relentless pandemic gloom and doom.

Why does it bother you so much? I can understand if it's not genuine. I haven't posted today but I'm in a very new relationship so being cautious. I like reading them and it makes a change from all the misery being posted atm.

Don't they? Sharing a pic on Facebook and saying "I lurve my fluffy wuffy snookums" is not everyone's thing, but it is pretty straightforward.

what's straightforward? that they are doing it for validation from others? Then why pretend it's because simply because you are so in love?

I have never seen someone on fb or insta or on MN threads about these sites admit to being thirsty. As you said just own it!

@Hahaha88 I'm not meaning this nastily but do you really think most of the people who see it give a damn?

Umm...I would think if your 'friends' don't care that you're happy then maybe they're not 'friends' but nasty lurkers waiting to pass judgement and comment

I don't post long tributes but I used to be snooty and judgey of those who posted pics when I was in my long-term 10 year relationship. Typical "oh, they must secretly be unhappy, why cant they say it to their partner privately". I'm now so embarrassed I was like that.

After that relationship ended, I had some tough times, never thought I'd find love again, and now have a wonderful DP who I love very much and is a far better relationship than previously. I occasionally post cute date night photos....most of my friends appreciate seeing that I am happy because they love me and care about me. Otherwise they are not friends. I don't need the validation to be happy in my relationship. It;s just sometimes nice. People that judge others on this unforrtunately are being nasty, whether you like to admit it or not. I also thought I wasn't being "nasty"...but I was. If the pandemic has taught us anything, surely its to appreciate our loved ones and say things out loud....its none of your business to judge how genuine it is or not.

by the way when I say 'soemtimes its nice' I dont mean validation, I mean sharing happiness with friends/family

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

I think a lot of the posters who hate the V Day sharers are indeed jealous, very much so. It might be because they didn't get the Valentine's Day they wanted, or because their relationships are as busted as they need to believe other people's are. Entirely possible.

But it's just as likely to be because they actually do want to share their experiences like these people did, and get some positive feedback, but they think it's an inferior thing to do so they don't. They can't own this, because it would mean admitting they want to do it. So instead of posting straightforwardly on Facebook about how great their relationships are, they do it on here instead, with some added self congratulations about how superior they are for not doing it on the other site with the smaller reach that's full of people who do actually know and care about them.

Bloody spot on.

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

I'm sure these people do exist but likely in equal numbers to the ones who like to show off & need validation. They don't own it either though...

Don't they? Sharing a pic on Facebook and saying "I lurve my fluffy wuffy snookums" is not everyone's thing, but it is pretty straightforward. Piling in on an anonymous internet forum with endless variants of "Oh, those people are SO PATHETIC, I bet their relationship isn't even as wonderful as the grand passion I have, not that I would ever mention it because I'm so humble and shun all praise and recognition and our love is too true and pure for such base things" is a bit less so.

👏🏻👏🏻

@GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom

You have summarised the irony perfectly.

what's straightforward? that they are doing it for validation from others? Then why pretend it's because simply because you are so in love?

Not everything that goes on social media is about "validation" from others. Sometimes it really is just about sharing with others (entirely different concept). You know, in the same way people invite guests to their wedding or their baby's christening or child's birthday party ... and so on. It's about social connection. Have you ever hosted an event like a party and invited people? Were you doing it for "validation" of your life? Or because you wanted social connection and to share your life with others (a very human thing to be motivated for). Especially in these Covid times - people are turning to social media more than ever to interact and connect.

Haven’t RTFT as it smacks of the condescending tone of “Anyone who has a wedding that cost more than £30 is doomed to divorce” which is so prevalent on here.

I generally have people I like on my Facebook and nothing irritated me yesterday. Didn’t bother posting myself but had a lovely day.

I like people’s ‘happy photos’ on fb generally but do wince a bit at gushing, personal posts addressed to someone who isn’t actually on FB. What’s the point of that?