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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DH can piss off.

122 replies

comfyslippets · 13/02/2021 19:57

Our dog has been a bit ill lately and has had a few accidents indoors (wee, poo and sick). My DH refuses to clean this and it's really pissing me off. Every morning when he was ill he came downstairs, had breakfast then sent me a text telling me the dog has been ill and he didn't have time to clean it. Therefore, I had to clean it all up before I went to work (don't really have time either, but can't just leave it there!)
Just walked across my living room floor and came across a wet patch, asked my DD if she knew what it was and she said the dog did a wee in the night. I asked my husband if he knew and he said yes and that he'd sprayed cleaner on it. He's obviously just sprayed something from a distance and left it there! I then went and got proper stuff and scrubbed carpet etc. I said to him you need to do this, why should I just do it and he said he'll never do it. Said he never wanted a dog (apparently, even though he agreed to it) and, as such, will not do anything.
AIBU to think this attitude stinks?

OP posts:
Cherrypies · 13/02/2021 20:01

I would be more worried about the dog, you say lately, have you booked in to see the vet, first thing to do, surely?

ItsJackieWeaverBitch · 13/02/2021 20:02

YANBU even if he didn’t want a dog in the first place there is wee/poo on the floor in his own home. Ugh, have some self respect.

WoolieLiberal · 13/02/2021 20:02

If it was a child and he was refusing to change or wash him/her I would be very concerned but with a dog I’d say it depends on the circumstances.

If it was a dog he was reluctant to get in the first place but got after much pestering and promises of “I’ll look after it” from the kids and/or you, and he has minimal involvement with it (eg walks) then I’m with him.

On the other hand if he was enthusiastic about getting it and owning it and just doesn’t want to help out when things get messy, then he is being unreasonable.

Original poster
comfyslippets · 13/02/2021 20:02

He's been to the vet and is all sorted. Got anti sickness tablets and he's better apart from little accident last night. I would have asked that question too, I should have said.

OP posts:
LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 13/02/2021 20:02

Crikey resentful isn't he? I would be annoyed too. Did he definitely want the dog?

gamerchick · 13/02/2021 20:04

Has the dog been to the vets?

gamerchick · 13/02/2021 20:06

Xpost.

What was the issue if it's peeing and crapping indoors as well as being sick?

It's a mutual thing, whoever comes across it first cleans it up. He's not up to let care for future reference

Original poster
comfyslippets · 13/02/2021 20:07

At first he didn't want the dog but then came round to wanting him and was just as enthusiastic as the rest of us. Now though, when it comes to cleaning up after him, he says 'I never wanted a dog.'
It just gets to me though that he'd rather sit in a room full of shit and piss and wait for me to clean it up!
It also makes me think it's below him, but not below me obviously.

OP posts:
SatsumasOrClementines · 13/02/2021 20:08

How old are your DC?

It’s weird to me that he’d choose to be in an environment with shit/piss/vomit (and allowing his DC to be in it too) rather than clean it up.

Original poster
comfyslippets · 13/02/2021 20:09

@gamercheck the vet thought it was something he ate and wasn't serious. Gave us tablets for him and told us if no improvement to go back. They worked and now he's back to normal.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 13/02/2021 20:12

Does he do other housework or is that all below his attention too?

Original poster
comfyslippets · 13/02/2021 20:14

DC aren't tiny. Youngest is 9. I just think it's gross that he sees it as my responsibility when we both live here. I just wanted to know how it is in other homes. Would it be seen as the woman's job?

OP posts:
Original poster
comfyslippets · 13/02/2021 20:16

@shoxfordian He does 'nice' housework ie cooking because he enjoys it, and washing, but he won't do other stuff. God forbid he'd clean a bathroom. Just lately I've been starting to feel resentful and it causes arguments but he still won't change.

OP posts:
MintyMabel · 13/02/2021 20:18

I just wanted to know how it is in other homes. Would it be seen as the woman's job?

It is seen as the job of the person who pushed the rest in to having a dog.

I don’t want a dog, if OH got one anyway, I wouldn’t be cleaning up after it.

MintyMabel · 13/02/2021 20:19

God forbid he'd clean a bathroom.

DC should be doing those.

Georgieporgie29 · 13/02/2021 20:20

Definitely not the woman’s job, whoever is up first and sees it should clean it. He’s being an arsehole.
He says he never wanted a dog but he’s agreed to it and you now have a dog, he doesn’t get to just agree to all the good bits.

Shoxfordian · 13/02/2021 20:20

He sounds really selfish then

CheshireDing · 13/02/2021 20:24

Well I have a 9 year old and I wouldn’t be letting her clean a bathroom (sprays/chemicals/bleach).

Your DH is a dirty lazy bastard OP, how disgusting to sit on in a room with see in it , even more so when he did want the dog too.

1Morewineplease · 13/02/2021 20:25

I can't get over the fact that he went downstairs and then texted you! Blimey!

emilyfrost · 13/02/2021 20:27

It sounds like you cajoled him into having a dog, so no, he shouldn’t have to be responsible for it.

“Coming round” to the idea of a dog and “eventually agreeing” to one are not responses from people who actually want a dog.

So you’ve made your own bed and need to lie in it.

TooManyAnimals94 · 13/02/2021 20:29

Can't believe his attitude. No one has 'time' to clean up piss, poo and sick but you just do it!

Original poster
comfyslippets · 13/02/2021 20:30

To the people saying he shouldn't do it because he came round to the idea, I appreciate this but surely once someone agrees that they do actually want the dog it's their responsibility too?

OP posts:
Original poster
comfyslippets · 13/02/2021 20:31

And no, I wouldn't be letting my 9 yr old clean a bathroom either. Firstly due to the cleaning products and secondly, due to the fact I'm not sure a 9 yr old would do a good enough job at bleaching properly etc.

OP posts:
AccidentallyOnPurpose · 13/02/2021 20:34

Does he still want the dog? Is he involved in other aspects of dog care? Walking, grooming, picking up poo on walk , etc.?

What I don't get is how he can be in a pissed/shat in room and completely ignore it.

Original poster
comfyslippets · 13/02/2021 20:38

No, he isn't interested in anything else really. He's not horrible to him, but me and DC do everything for him (he's loved very much)

OP posts:
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