Valentines present from Grandma?!

[TallulahSkye]

Appreciate I may get called ungrateful/mean for this but wondered if anyone finds this creepy and/or has any advice? I asked my friends and they said it was funny/sweet 😩

So MIL has sent DS (6 months) a valentines card and personalised presents - my 1st valentines etc.
I find this really weird as I see valentines as a more romantic love and we see it as a commercial day, DH and I just get each other cards...
This is just the tip of the iceberg though, for his Christmas she got DS more presents than we did! Prior to DS being born she was always sending us gifts. She sent DH a valentines card every year up until this one it seems 😂
After she's sent the gifts she asks why we don't put pics on social media and tag her!

I'm grateful DS has a loving and involved granny but I find it all a bit much. Especially since she often asks DH to lend her money and has been bankrupt in the past.
I know this is her "love language" but does anyone have any tips of how to stop or reduce this behaviour?
Or AIBU and should just accept all the gifts?

DH says she's always been like this. He speaks to her after she sends the gifts and tells her not to but she just says she has a right to spoil her son and now grandson!

Should add that she is a nice person and we get on apart from this!

I don't find it creepy, it's just showing love to her grandson.

I like giving gifts and get more joy out of giving them than I do receiving them.

Would you rather she took no interest and didn’t buy any gifts?

Most people would love to have a grandparent spoiling their child. Many have lost them recently.

I wouldn't send a baby a valentine- I might send a child age 3-10 some valentine sweets/love hearts or a little craft kit type thing or even an anonymous card. Children like Valentines.

I think you're being awfully unreasonable. You said yourself apart from this you've had no issues with your MIL, I think you're nit picking.

She sounds lovely, if she's sent her DS a Vday card for his whole life, then it's clearly just the kind of person she is.

And you sound a bit mean, sorry.

I would find the valentines card a bit weird tbh and also the comment on asking why you haven't posted and tagged her, makes me question who is she buying gifts for?
My MiL doesn't do the valentines stuff but buying gifts is also her live language and I'll never forget 2 Christmases ago when she bought our 2 year niece over 30 Christmas presents. She was so overwhelmed that she actually said "no more" and got upset after about 10. When our first child was born we had a gentle conversation about how we didn't have the space for loads of presents, she still buys them but we've had to put the boundary in that any bulky things she buys have to stay at her house (and even pre covid we only saw her 4 times a year or so, so ironically our child doesn't get to play with them before he grows out of them). Do you feel able to gently ask your MiL to tone down the gifts (and the valentines bit?) Then even if she continues at least you've stated your feelings?

*love language that should say! And she's also a nice person!

It's ridiculous but harmless. I wouldn't budge on the social media though, it's not a performance! She sounds sweet but immature.

We send each other Valentine’s Day cards from the cat.

People who moan about how much their in-laws love their grandkids need to catch a fucking grip of themselves.

The social media thing is stupid though. Don’t put them on social media and tag her.

I presume she’s British? Only asking because my DM is American and there Valentine’s Day seems to be much wider than in the U.K...so she always sends me and DSs a card and maybe some sweets.

I don't think it's "creepy"

You can give things to friends etc as well as a boyfriend on Valentine's Day I think.

I used to get DH a gift and also treats for my DSS on Valentine's Day

For SM is stupid and I would not engage with that.

But a little gift on valentines is quite sweet. My mum & dad used to buy me something like a book or CD most years. Never felt it to be anything but a nice gesture.

Perhaps she'll stop if you don't put it on SM.
It would irritate me too. Particularly the too many gifts.

I think it comes from a good place, quite sweet really.

It’s a bit over the top, but not creepy.

However her asking for you to put pics of the gifts on fb and tagging her would annoy me... that’s just attention seeking. The point of giving a gift should be for the joy of the recipient, not to show off how generous she is.

Why do you need to stop or reduce it? What harm is it causing? You could be a MIL one day, just think how you'd feel if your DIL tried to stop you doing something you thought was thoughtful and labelled it "creepy". Come on, learn to live and let live, you've got years ahead of you with your family, MIL is your family, put the effort in as you would with your blood family for the sake of your son.

(Although I'm with you on the SM part and probably wouldn't engage with that if dictated to, picking your battles and all that and that is one I'd pick ha!)

Weird but harmless. But no need to encourage her on social media.

It’s unusual, but harmless.

Every year since I can remember I had a valentines card delivered 'love from ?'
I was about 16 when I realised it was from my dad. I'm now in my 30s and my dad still sends the same message in a card.

My sister actually does the same for my DC now.

I don't think it's sinister or weird. Just an unusual family tradition which seems to have stuck !

With posts like this it's always an interfering MIL. Would you have the same reaction of it was your mum ? No judgement, just curious.

Fwiw I'm with you on the social media stuff. That's unnecessary and strange.

I have MIL who buys more Xmas presents than we do and it can get really annoying but I just suck it up now as its not her trying to make a competition she just gets carried away. Valentines is a bit much buts it's sweet that she wants to make you all happy and her way of displaying it is buying gifts by the sound of it.

I think it’s quite sweet actually