Page 25 | In not going to drop things off at the hospital

Hoppinggreen · 2021-02-13T11:38:59+00:00

My mum fell about 10 days ago and was taken to hospital where she has had an op. The hospital is very close to my house and when she has been there before I have been daily and taken food etc (she hates hospital food). I don’t mind visiting under normal circumstances and it’s nice to see her. However, we have been pretty careful during Covid and stuck to the rules around seeing her. She and my sdad have health issues so are vulnerable but have been out and about more than they should, plus I know my brother has visited regularly. We are healthy but DD has mild asthma and I am overweight, plus DH is SE so if he was ill and couldn’t work it would cost us ££££££. I dropped off a book and a couple of things my mum asked for last week but despite wearing a mask, using have gel etc I was pretty uneasy about being at the hospital and when DH had a blood test he also dropped off some clean nighties for her, the nurse taking his blood actually advised against it as he said Covid was rife in the hospital and my mums ward was opposite the Covid ward. DH did it anyway This morning I had a text asking me to take her some more things and some food as the food there was awful, last time she was in hospital I cooked extra and took it in a cool bag to keep warm. I have replied saying I am not going to shops at the moment (thank you Ocado) and in any case I am not comfortable with coming to the hospital. I have suggested sdad do it as he has had both jabs so it’s safer to him. He does have some cognitive issues but can drive, go to shops etc. I have had quite a nasty text back and now feel guilty - not guilty enough to do it but even so. DH is quite cross my mum would even ask I am right not to go aren’t I? In an emergency I would go obviously but wanting a sandwich and clean undies isn’t an emergency

SabrinaMorningstar · 13/02/2021 17:42

I didn't say I had a shit ex Hopping. I said there were similarities (connected to work comments you've made) and I was concerned about the dynamic in your relationship that led to you changing your decision and falling out with your mum whilst she's in hospital. If you're happy with your decision and how you reached it then there wasn't really any need for a thread. I'll leave you to it.

wishes1111 · 13/02/2021 17:43

In my opinion, YABU.

I have asthma and an autoimmune disease, I've still been working, going to food shop etc, just being careful and adhering to rules.

I wouldn't leave my neighbour in hospital without what they needed/wanted to be comfortable and settled let alone a family member.

MorganKitten · 13/02/2021 17:47

I’d give anything to see my mum, she’s in a specialist trauma unit, we have to box things, label them and leave them at the door of the unit. I take whatever is needed. This has been since Mother’s Day last year. I have to get a bus there. It’s a risk but I’d do anything for my mum.

mootymoo · 13/02/2021 17:49

To be honest I would nip to asda/Tesco and pick up two multipacks of cotton knickers. You'll be in the store 10 mins max

MyDcAreMarvel · 13/02/2021 17:50

@Hoppinggreen
I don’t see why thinking someone who has had the vaccine is at less risk of catching it than someone who hasn’t makes me a bit thick
You may be at more risk of getting Covid but as your sdad is 80 plus the vaccine may not offer much protection as he has a weakened immune system.
If you get Covid-19 the risk of serious illness or death a minute. For your vaccinated sdad the risks are still much higher.

Stressedoutsomuch · 13/02/2021 17:52

@SabrinaMorningstar

I didn't say I had a shit ex Hopping. I said there were similarities (connected to work comments you've made) and I was concerned about the dynamic in your relationship that led to you changing your decision and falling out with your mum whilst she's in hospital. If you're happy with your decision and how you reached it then there wasn't really any need for a thread. I'll leave you to it.

Sabrina stop trying to derail the thread. Your massively projecting or being a bit weird. Probably best to turn in for the night.

dontdisturbmenow · 13/02/2021 17:52

You keep saying that your sdad is perfectly capable of doing the drop offs but how far does he live? Because if it's 1/2h away whereas you live 5mns away, then I can understand how your mother would very annoyed, especially at his age.

You are also quite hypocritical saying that you are taking no risk yet your oh was happy to go to the hospital for a blood test. It might have been required but it was still exposing him to risks to you and your daughter. The risk of walking into hospital, up to a non covid ward, handing over a bag is very very low if you wash your hands, wear mask and keep 2m away. Certainly lower than your sdad dying in car crash on his way.

IloveFebruary · 13/02/2021 17:57

It does feel a bit hypocritical that your DH can brave the hospital for his own purposes (blood test) but then suggest the risk is too high to drop things off for your Mum.

I appreciate they are probably in different areas and I note your comments about the 3rd floor. However, from your mums perspective there is probably little difference.

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2021 18:02

Believe it or not I am actually pretty fond of my sdad - who lives a10 minute drive away.
I look after him when needed, help him and include him in my family (as I should) far more than his own daughter who can’t be arsed frankly.
If I thought he might die in a car crash on his way to the hospital (really?) or wasn’t capable of doing this for his wife I wouldn’t have asked. He has a completely different attitude to the risk of Covid than me, he hasn’t been overly concerned where I am so yes, I did prefer him to go to the hospital rather than me. Plus he has what she needed and didn’t need to go via a shop ( I haven’t been in one in ages)
And to recap (again) he has been and everyone is fine

OP posts:

MyLittleOrangutan · 13/02/2021 18:03

What?! Its hypocritical now to be willing to go to the hospital fo your own legitimate health concerns but not be willing to go to hospital to drop someone someone some snacks off right next to the covid ward?! 😂

Zakana · 13/02/2021 18:03

@MorganKitten

I’d give anything to see my mum, she’s in a specialist trauma unit, we have to box things, label them and leave them at the door of the unit. I take whatever is needed. This has been since Mother’s Day last year. I have to get a bus there. It’s a risk but I’d do anything for my mum.

I’m so sorry, it must be very hard for you, especially with the pandemic as well, awful for you and your mum 💐

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2021 18:03

@dontdisturbmenow

You keep saying that your sdad is perfectly capable of doing the drop offs but how far does he live? Because if it's 1/2h away whereas you live 5mns away, then I can understand how your mother would very annoyed, especially at his age.

You are also quite hypocritical saying that you are taking no risk yet your oh was happy to go to the hospital for a blood test. It might have been required but it was still exposing him to risks to you and your daughter. The risk of walking into hospital, up to a non covid ward, handing over a bag is very very low if you wash your hands, wear mask and keep 2m away. Certainly lower than your sdad dying in car crash on his way.

I didn’t want DH to have a blood test and neither did he but he has to have his liver function tested regularly due to medication he’s on and was told to go by his GP Nothing hypocritical about that.

OP posts:

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2021 18:04

@SabrinaMorningstar

I didn't say I had a shit ex Hopping. I said there were similarities (connected to work comments you've made) and I was concerned about the dynamic in your relationship that led to you changing your decision and falling out with your mum whilst she's in hospital. If you're happy with your decision and how you reached it then there wasn't really any need for a thread. I'll leave you to it.

Please do

OP posts:

MrsKingfisher · 13/02/2021 18:04

@poblwcymru

YABU.

I have nothing nice to say so that's where I'll leave it.

This ^^

RootyT00t · 13/02/2021 18:05

@Hoppinggreen

Believe it or not I am actually pretty fond of my sdad - who lives a10 minute drive away. I look after him when needed, help him and include him in my family (as I should) far more than his own daughter who can’t be arsed frankly. If I thought he might die in a car crash on his way to the hospital (really?) or wasn’t capable of doing this for his wife I wouldn’t have asked. He has a completely different attitude to the risk of Covid than me, he hasn’t been overly concerned where I am so yes, I did prefer him to go to the hospital rather than me. Plus he has what she needed and didn’t need to go via a shop ( I haven’t been in one in ages) And to recap (again) he has been and everyone is fine

You love the little digs OP. His own daughter can't be arsed etc etc etc. He's still a vulnerable 80 year old man and you still have no reason to be getting online deliveries and staying in than laziness.

BagelandEggs · 13/02/2021 18:09

I understand your concerns and do not think you are being unreasonable! It seems crazy that you are expected to go into the ward after trying to keep yourself safe for so long. If there was no other way, I would take the stuff as safely as possible and only stay for a short time. Good luck with it all.

Mother40 · 13/02/2021 18:09

05RootyT00t

"You love the little digs OP. His own daughter can't be arsed etc etc etc. He's still a vulnerable 80 year old man and you still have no reason to be getting online deliveries and staying in than laziness."

Seriously? It's pretty easy to get online deliveries now. We.have.them and there are.lots of slots in our area. I don't think this is a problem!

alanpartridgefromtheoasthouse · 13/02/2021 18:10

Without wading through the whole thread, I'll just add to the YABU pile. This is your mother you're talking about - nothing on earth would put me off helping my mum with food and underwear if she asked, pandemic or not. You come across as extremely selfish tbh.

EarlGreywithLemon · 13/02/2021 18:10

you still have no reason to be getting online deliveries and staying in than laziness.
That’s extremely uncalled for: if more of us stayed in there would be less of the virus around.
OP I’m so sorry you’re getting such a pasting. Your concerns are completely legitimate.

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2021 18:10

Have we not been advised to get online deliveries then? And stay in?
Is not going to supermarkets lazy now?
I thought we were suppose to avoid going out unless necessary

And no, his daughter can’t be arsed, she visits once a year tops and when he was ill a couple of years ago and phoned to tell her she just wanted to know if I knew where his will was and what is in it (yes and no).

OP posts:

Stressedoutsomuch · 13/02/2021 18:14

You are also quite hypocritical saying that you are taking no risk yet your oh was happy to go to the hospital for a blood test. It might have been required but it was still exposing him to risks to you and your daughter

Wow the crazies are out tonight

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2021 18:15

It’s fine EarlGrey I am not bothered and am happy to address everyone’s points, except the very odd ones about DH.
I know how much I usually very gladly do for my Mum and I know that the only reason I’m not doing it now is due to Covid concerns.

OP posts:

Stressedoutsomuch · 13/02/2021 18:16

@IloveFebruary

It does feel a bit hypocritical that your DH can brave the hospital for his own purposes (blood test) but then suggest the risk is too high to drop things off for your Mum.

I appreciate they are probably in different areas and I note your comments about the 3rd floor. However, from your mums perspective there is probably little difference.

One trip was necessary for health reasons. The other wasn’t.

saffire · 13/02/2021 18:16

Recently my uncle was in hospital and anything that was taken in for him had to be quarantined for 72 hours before he was allowed to have it!

Original poster

Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2021 18:18

@saffire

Recently my uncle was in hospital and anything that was taken in for him had to be quarantined for 72 hours before he was allowed to have it!

To be honest I was a bit surprised I could hand things over, if I was infected I could have introduced it to the ward. I wiped the bag handles with hand gel in the lift on the way up.

OP posts: