In not going to drop things off at the hospital

[Hoppinggreen]

My mum fell about 10 days ago and was taken to hospital where she has had an op. The hospital is very close to my house and when she has been there before I have been daily and taken food etc (she hates hospital food). I don’t mind visiting under normal circumstances and it’s nice to see her.
However, we have been pretty careful during Covid and stuck to the rules around seeing her. She and my sdad have health issues so are vulnerable but have been out and about more than they should, plus I know my brother has visited regularly. We are healthy but DD has mild asthma and I am overweight, plus DH is SE so if he was ill and couldn’t work it would cost us ££££££.
I dropped off a book and a couple of things my mum asked for last week but despite wearing a mask, using have gel etc I was pretty uneasy about being at the hospital and when DH had a blood test he also dropped off some clean nighties for her, the nurse taking his blood actually advised against it as he said Covid was rife in the hospital and my mums ward was opposite the Covid ward. DH did it anyway
This morning I had a text asking me to take her some more things and some food as the food there was awful, last time she was in hospital I cooked extra and took it in a cool bag to keep warm. I have replied saying I am not going to shops at the moment (thank you Ocado) and in any case I am not comfortable with coming to the hospital. I have suggested sdad do it as he has had both jabs so it’s safer to him. He does have some cognitive issues but can drive, go to shops etc.
I have had quite a nasty text back and now feel guilty - not guilty enough to do it but even so. DH is quite cross my mum would even ask
I am right not to go aren’t I? In an emergency I would go obviously but wanting a sandwich and clean undies isn’t an emergency

Well my Dad is dead and as my Mum is unwell anyway I don’t ask either of them for anything

so don't then. You obviously don't think you're being unreasonable. Why did you even ask?

I would go but the most vulnerable person in our household is me tbh and I will be going to hospital for consultant appointments anyway. I think my dh would offer to go instead of me. I can understand the need to be careful with your child having asthma though.

Our trust supplies: clean pants (net) and night clothes.

I'd like to think that my family would spare me the indignity of wearing hospital issue paper/net knickers.

@Whythesadface

Track and Trace. School has Covid. 100 Families including Staff and Families have to isolate about 500 people. Your Family have Covid. Your Child Got it at School. OP took her Child too School. OP Visited Mother in Hospital... OH knickers.

OF course it happens, all the time,

Is that supposed to make any sense at all?

RootyT00t , I'm sorry did you not know how Covid was Spread, maybe you might think about looking it up, since you don't see to understand that it is passed by people to people.

I wore net pants just fine in hospital. Really don’t see the issue.

@Hoppinggreen

I do comprehend why people don’t agree with me. I actually find it very interesting because when I started the post I was pretty confident I was right but clearly given the strength of opinion it seems I was very wrong. I also think someone has highlighted something very interesting i debt realise - there is some resentment too. I have been pretty careful in Lockdown and my Mum has pushed back against those. She has regularly complained about me “being ridiculous” and has pushed my boundaries on it. She, my sdad and my brother have done whatever they wanted and made me out to be silly for not doing the same. Maybe this request from her felt like another attempt at that and I felt why should I do what I feel puts me and my family as risk when there are people available who havent stuck to the rules. This is why I love MN, your friends and family too often tell you what they think you want to hear but the vipers are brutally honest so genuinely thank you Apart from the cunt who called me fat.

My family is similar OP and I know my mother would have me running around after her to make a point. She made one such point so I won't be seeing her at all until we've all been vaccinated and being in hospital wouldn't make a difference to that.

The people also doing as they please can run around after your mother.

You are not in the wrong, a nurse in the hospital has advised you not drop shit off. I'd be more inclined to listen to that person than any amount of blackmailing handwringers on this thread.

You are absolutely off your head.

Yep.

@VinylDetective now now I'm being educated here.
I didn't know schools could get covid. What symptoms do they show? The roof at mine when I went in the other day was looking a bit wet. Should I call 111?

I mean right enough there was only me and 3 weans, but the 100 families sadface is talking about must have been hiding in the corridor on th way to hospital to see OPs mother.

I work in a hospital and I’m surprised that they’re allowing people to visit and come on to wards at the hospital you’re speaking about. At our hospital we have a drop off centre opposite main reception where people can drop off bags for patients on the ward and collect dirty washing (in dissolvable bags so you don’t have to touch any of the clothes and risk contamination). You are absolutely not allowed to go on to the wards unless the person you are on their deathbed. It’s worrying that yours doesn’t have a similar protocol!

@Whythesadface

RootyT00t , I'm sorry did you not know how Covid was Spread, maybe you might think about looking it up, since you don't see to understand that it is passed by people to people.

Ooh thanks for this sadface. I'll give it a go. Your posts have started me off on the right path. Thank god I came in today.

This

"I’m fairly sure our local hospital has a system in place for getting things like clean clothes etc to patients without having to go up on the ward?"

Ring the ward and ask if you can leave at the main entrance - this works in many places. My father was in hospital last week for a couple of days - they brought him to main entrance when time to collect to minimise people in and out. They are flexible and help.

@EarlGreywithLemon

I wore net pants just fine in hospital. Really don’t see the issue.

What are net pants

I'd go and take her what she needs but I wouldn't get into a situation where I was going every day/other day. Id take a bag of stuff to last a while, I wouldn't be dropping off daily food and snacks because she didn't want to eat what the hospital provides.

I had a situation with my gran in the first lockdown where I was doing bits of shopping for her. I was happy to do it but she was asking me for small amounts like every other day, a tub of butter here, a pack of biscuits there. I did in the end say I was happy to do her shopping but I'd only be doing it once a week.

So yeah I'd go and take my mum what she needed but id make sure it was enough that I didn't need to keep going back all the time which I think is sensible and totally fair.

RootyT00t please explain how Covid is caught,
Twisting Words doesn't make me wrong,
All it takes is one person to pass this virus.
THE SCHOOL can refer to all who attend the school.
BUT you know that, shame on you.

@Hoppinggreen

Sdad isn’t classed as medically vulnerable no. The only medical condition he has is mild cognitive issues that affect his long term memory. No physical issues He is vaccinated because he is 80

Being over 80 makes him vulnerable....he will have a weaker and compromised immune system .... even with the vaccine their will be risks

Rooty, similar to this:
www.jojomamanbebe.co.uk/carriwell-4pack-hospital-knickers-e9136.html?gclid=CjwKCAiAjp6BBhAIEiwAkO9WuhBICYOAPPsj7BK7vvpDd3TaVP2x1v8X1A28XRhD2viQd2XSHjKerBoC3ykQAvD_BwE

'Following the rules' has now become a personality trait for some and I don't know how they'll survive without them.

And no I'm not saying we shouldn't be following the rules, but this is bordering martyrdom.

I had to wear hospital pants and I felt like a piece of beef for what it’s worth.

“If Next month OP took her mum knickers and food, then gave a whole class of 7 year olds Covid , the children were yours and all the families in the school had to isolate for 14 days ,
Do you really think a single on of you would be happy .
No you'd be on here screaming at OP for going, when it's not allowed.
Double Standards...”

If any quote needed the meme well that escalated quickly it’s this! Fuck me.

This pandemic is making people go absolutely beyond the realms of thinking straight. My nan needed to go hospital last week, she went twice, she was ok, I’ve been to appointments, my ex and his new wife been visiting her father, my DD has gone there, I shop every week i could catch it shopping, i could catch it from my DD when she returns, I had an interview this week could have picked up from there, had stuff delivered, we can take as much precautions and our own responsibilities but the hysteria is turning everyone against everyone like we are all some diseased plagued zombies. If my parents were in hospital I’d take stuff to them. My friends dad is in hospital and they allow stuff to him on the ward, every hospital has their own rules

I don't think you're being.unreasonable Op. Your Sd seems capable of going and like you said hasn't followed the rules as carefully as you have. I would be worried to go as well. If your mum needed.something urgently and had no one else to take it, I am.sure you.would go,but that does not seem to be the situation here. 36% have said you're not being.unreasonable, so I think a lot of others think the same but the YABU group are a lot more vocal, which is.often the case.with these threads.

@Whythesadface

RootyT00t please explain how Covid is caught, Twisting Words doesn't make me wrong, All it takes is one person to pass this virus. THE SCHOOL can refer to all who attend the school. BUT you know that, shame on you.

Okay. I'll bite.

I'm not sure what schools have to do with anything , really.

I assume you are going on the theory that OP has covid (not sure where from as she doesn't leave the house). She goes into hospital, gives it to the mother, the mother maybe touches the same door handle (FYI, schools clean every door handle touched on the hour every hour and we don't open doors manually) as child who just happens to be the 1 in 100 currently in school at the moment (so the visit would have to be on a weekend, but I'm not sure why a child would be in hospital) who goes back to school and gives it to a classmate. And rather than the usual procedure in school where we isolate the children 2 metres in each direction, which unless there's a lot of key worker children would be no other child or member of staff at the moment, they then have covid. Child takes it home and somehow manages to isolate the whole class and 100 families who were nowhere near the child in the first place.

Have I got that right?

I would put a bag together with lots of underwear and basic toiletry products and maybe a few dry snacks.

Drop it off at the main desk and ask them to give it to your dm.

@MolyHolyGuacamole

'Following the rules' has now become a personality trait for some and I don't know how they'll survive without them.

And no I'm not saying we shouldn't be following the rules, but this is bordering martyrdom.

Yup. Makes you wonder how those people managed without The Rules and what they’ll do when The Rules have gone.

Sorry but I think you’re being U not to drop clean underwear off twice a week.

Not unreasonable about the food (she can make do with hospital food) but clean clothes, toiletries, some books or magazines to help her pass the time.

If nobody else can drop them I think the risk to you and DH is minimal provided you wear a mask and wash your hands thoroughly afterwards.

This virus has made people lose all humanity.
Really, i could weep.

It is your mum and she needs clean pants .

Are you fucking kidding me?