In not going to drop things off at the hospital

[Hoppinggreen]

My mum fell about 10 days ago and was taken to hospital where she has had an op. The hospital is very close to my house and when she has been there before I have been daily and taken food etc (she hates hospital food). I don’t mind visiting under normal circumstances and it’s nice to see her.
However, we have been pretty careful during Covid and stuck to the rules around seeing her. She and my sdad have health issues so are vulnerable but have been out and about more than they should, plus I know my brother has visited regularly. We are healthy but DD has mild asthma and I am overweight, plus DH is SE so if he was ill and couldn’t work it would cost us ££££££.
I dropped off a book and a couple of things my mum asked for last week but despite wearing a mask, using have gel etc I was pretty uneasy about being at the hospital and when DH had a blood test he also dropped off some clean nighties for her, the nurse taking his blood actually advised against it as he said Covid was rife in the hospital and my mums ward was opposite the Covid ward. DH did it anyway
This morning I had a text asking me to take her some more things and some food as the food there was awful, last time she was in hospital I cooked extra and took it in a cool bag to keep warm. I have replied saying I am not going to shops at the moment (thank you Ocado) and in any case I am not comfortable with coming to the hospital. I have suggested sdad do it as he has had both jabs so it’s safer to him. He does have some cognitive issues but can drive, go to shops etc.
I have had quite a nasty text back and now feel guilty - not guilty enough to do it but even so. DH is quite cross my mum would even ask
I am right not to go aren’t I? In an emergency I would go obviously but wanting a sandwich and clean undies isn’t an emergency

@Hoppinggreen

Well as he hasn’t been following guidelines for the last year or so and has now been vaccinated I think we can assume he’s not as concerned as me about catching Covid. I’m not the one who has been to the corner shop daily for the paper

This is irrelevant and smacks of resentment.

Sdad isn’t classed as medically vulnerable no.
The only medical condition he has is mild cognitive issues that affect his long term memory. No physical issues
He is vaccinated because he is 80

I’m not the one who has been to the corner shop daily for the paper

That's not high risk. You do realise millions of us have been leaving our houses daily, several times a day, and coming in contact with other millions of people since the pandemic began, and some of us haven't ever caught Covid?

I'm out every day for work, I go on 2 trains and 4 buses each day, I go to the shops every two days because I don't drive and there's no way I could carry a weekly shop on my own, up 6 flights of stairs. I take precautions and touch wood, everything has been fine so far. Three-weekly Covid tests confirm I've never had Covid. Life keeps going on for those of us unable to WFH and get deliveries.

Please don't suggest that going to drop off something at the ward door or popping down to buy the paper are high-risk activities. I'd love to have that low level of risk.

Stop being Bullys.
You want to all go, so go.
You have no rights to demand OP goes to do something that she is worried by,
HER mum won;t die if she has to use hospital knickers and eat hospital food,

I would go. My Mum died 10 years ago, and even though I was a dutiful daughter, and she was a holy terror, I wish I’d done more, and more willingly.

If my mum was in hospital, she would have nice food, books, magazines and clean clothes brought for her as much as she wanted/needed!! You can't even go in to hospital, so you'd only be dropping them off at reception.

But I really love my mum 🤷🏼‍♀️

Given your SD and DB are not bothered about Covid being spread let them take in the things she needs re underwear. She just has to put up with the food. No one should be visiting hospitals unnecessarily.

@Whythesadface

Stop being Bullys. You want to all go, so go. You have no rights to demand OP goes to do something that she is worried by, HER mum won;t die if she has to use hospital knickers and eat hospital food,

That's true. OP just can't seem to comprehend why we don't agree with her.

@Hoppinggreen

Sdad isn’t classed as medically vulnerable no. The only medical condition he has is mild cognitive issues that affect his long term memory. No physical issues He is vaccinated because he is 80

Mmm.

Not sure I believe you.

But regardless you're not vulnerable either (the fact you shouldn't be using delivery slots is another argument ).

On a side not, I just saw your response as being fat meaning the more cakes you shovel in means less room for empathy

You're obviously bright, and quick witted. So you're either being deliberately obtuse, selfish, or looking for justification to not bother your arse. Either way, you're completely wrong.

Also not everyone who has had two jabs are very high risk - it's a postcode lottery and some areas had access earlier than others .
I'm also not sure it's fantastic lockdown practise for multiple family members to be popping in and out of hospitals .
Being in hospital is grim but we are in lockdown and I think op is getting a hard time and is nervous about going into a high risk environment.

@rhowton

If my mum was in hospital, she would have nice food, books, magazines and clean clothes brought for her as much as she wanted/needed!! You can't even go in to hospital, so you'd only be dropping them off at reception.

But I really love my mum 🤷🏼‍♀️

Once more No, I can’t leave things at Reception, I have to take them across the other side of the hospital and up 3 flights of stairs

@EileenGC

I’m not the one who has been to the corner shop daily for the paper

That's not high risk. You do realise millions of us have been leaving our houses daily, several times a day, and coming in contact with other millions of people since the pandemic began, and some of us haven't ever caught Covid?

I'm out every day for work, I go on 2 trains and 4 buses each day, I go to the shops every two days because I don't drive and there's no way I could carry a weekly shop on my own, up 6 flights of stairs. I take precautions and touch wood, everything has been fine so far. Three-weekly Covid tests confirm I've never had Covid. Life keeps going on for those of us unable to WFH and get deliveries.

Please don't suggest that going to drop off something at the ward door or popping down to buy the paper are high-risk activities. I'd love to have that low level of risk.

Quite.

I couldn't afford to give up work so I'm out coming into contact with lots of people.

People like OP with their deliveries and whimpering about being overweight really get my goat

On a side note, I am really surprised a hospital is allowing, indeed forcing, random outsisers to come in and freely roam the corridors right up to wards to deliver items to patients. Every hospital I know is letting no-one but patients in. Even some carers have been turned away. Patients are on their own.
They seem very lax Covid protocols

Agreed, it seems bizarre.

My local hospital makes you show an appointment letter before even allowing you through the door. No visitors or companions allowed. In maternity women aren’t allowed birth partners until they’re in active labour. And their birth partners are being sent home pretty much straight after birth.

In that context I’m so surprised that a hospital would allow a visitor to take items to someone on a ward!

Why is the three flights of stairs a thing? You are sounding ridiculous.

But she’s asking you for help??? Not anyone else. I would help my mum in a heartbeat.

Op I don’t think you should go, I’d ring your Sdad and say could you drop dm clean underwear and a sandwich please. I’d also ring the Trust and enquirer why this hospitals procedures are so lax?

If Next month OP took her mum knickers and food, then gave a whole class of 7 year olds Covid , the children were yours and all the families in the school had to isolate for 14 days ,
Do you really think a single on of you would be happy .
No you'd be on here screaming at OP for going, when it's not allowed.
Double Standards...

I'd go but I love my mum and I'm grateful for all she's done for me in the past. I'd mask up, and drop at the ward door. You can do what you want just stop trying to use her partner to justify it.

Being 80 alone makes you extremely vulnerable. Also cognitive impairment is on dementia spectrum and dementia has been shown to be the highest risk factor.

FFS.

If you really, really can't bring yourself to deliver her a bundle yourself, then sort out some decent food again, snacks, 'extra's and her specific requests and package them up for her husband to deliver himself since he's been vaccinated.

It's not rocket science.

@Whythesadface

If Next month OP took her mum knickers and food, then gave a whole class of 7 year olds Covid , the children were yours and all the families in the school had to isolate for 14 days , Do you really think a single on of you would be happy . No you'd be on here screaming at OP for going, when it's not allowed. Double Standards...

This is an utterly ridiculous post. Ridiculous.

If it isn’t allowed, why are the ward letting people in?

@Whythesadface

If Next month OP took her mum knickers and food, then gave a whole class of 7 year olds Covid , the children were yours and all the families in the school had to isolate for 14 days , Do you really think a single on of you would be happy . No you'd be on here screaming at OP for going, when it's not allowed. Double Standards...

When will OP be seeing the 7 year olds, like?

This is an utterly ridiculous post.

Jeez the hospital has no lifts either from the sound of things.

Oh my god what a drip feed. HE’S BEEN GOING TO THE CORNERSHOP FOR A PAPER?!!!!

hang him high

What are you realistically going to do- get shopping deliveries and stay at home until the whole population is vaccinated, despite nothing you’ve said putting you in a vulnerable group?