To tell you all how much of a crock of shite sleep training is...

[Butusernamessuck]

And how unreasonable it is to propagate that utter torrid hell onto tired and desperate parents.

2 hours into what is labled as "gentle sleep training" with my ebf Velcro baby and my entire family will never be the same.

The baby in question is distraught despite constant physical and verbal reassurance from me. He's vomited all over himself, me, his cot and my bed. 35 minutes after giving up he is still shaking and sobbing (and dry heaving) in between frantic breastfeeds. Hes scratched his face to the point of bleeding and cried himself hoarse.

I was present the whole time. Shhhhing, patting and stroking as per the "suffle" method. Picking up and soothing and putting back down with a kiss and reassurance. He just screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

At the 2 hour mark he threw up and choked on it. Thats when I gave up.

Not, however before deeply traumatising my baby, myself and all my other kids.

He obviously woke them all up. The 5 year old has fallen asleep crying in my bed, the 11 year old stormed off back to bed with headphones after telling me he thinks sleep training is abusive and the 9 year old sat outside my room, shaking the whole time. Once I gave up and begun cleaning up the vomit he asked me if I did that to him as a baby. I told him no, this baby is the only one I've had as a single parent and as a result of the disrupted 3 or 4 hours a night I am really struggling. I tried this out of utter desperation because I had read on here that although it may be a bit hard going, it really works and is torally harmless.

9 year old just sighed and said he doesn't think the baby will forgive me as he couldn't if i did that to him. Hes not sure he can forgive me for doing it to the baby, apparently he didn't think he had a mean mum.

So. My review of sleep training someone who simply cannot rationalise what's happening.. Snake oil bull shit that ruins lives.

If it worked for you whoopie friggin do .. You lucked out .. Implying to parents on their knees with exhaustion that it is a one stop cure all for naughty babies manipulating love and affection is barbaric

Hes finally asleep .. Still making sobbing noises .. Or maybe that's just one of the other kids. Or me.

All the sleep training resources based in America are aimed at babies between 3-6 months. They are forced back to work so early there they feel like they have no other choice. Interestingly UK based sleep training advice suggests 6-18 months is best - correlating again with when parents tend to go back to work.

I don’t think there is some magical age for sleep training that works for all babies. Each baby is different.
From my observations of working with mums and babies I do think putting baby down drowsy but awake works best in the first few months as long as baby is swaddled and has a dummy. It still won’t work for all babies. If you do manage to crack drowsy but awake in the first few months it does tend to eliminate the need to do any proper sleep training once older, all you need is gentle nudges.

Font beat yourself up. I read a book when I was pregnant saying it was normal for babies to be sick if you are sleep training, and I threw the book away. I think some babies just struggle with sleep and there's not much you can do. Mine were all good sleepers and I did all the "wrong" things - fed them to sleep, Co slept, long day naps....

@BertieBotts @3WildOnes Excellent posts on balance, I found the same thing. I was in a breastfeeding support group and it was very attachment parenting and anything else was not allowed. Formula was not recommended, I used both. Sleep training was very much warned against. They were lovely but I didn't fit in. Most of us do end up doing our own thing, not following a set of rules. FWIW I used "the pause" from Bringing Up Bebe on last baby in-between two to four months, where you waited a few minutes at night wakings (about the amount of time to get a bottle), sometimes they went back to sleep by themselves. They learnt to settle without getting too upset, I always fed them if they needed it. Not saying it would work for every baby, but they became good sleepers who could self-settle. Someone asked about the book on the group and I said I'd used it. It did not go down well!

OP, good luck. I think as your baby has always co-slept, you will have to go very slowly to first try and move them to their cot, and then slowly reduce the night feeds. I would go very slowly. I used the gradual withdrawal sleep method at similar age for naps, it took much longer than they said. Do what is best for you. If you decide not to sleep train, that's ok. If you decide to try and more gentle method, that's ok too.

Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting to see if the crying ramps up or down. There are other things in bringing up bebe which were controversial I think weren't there? I can't remember now.

I can't remember either, I think so, it might have been the four hourly feeding plan? I didn't do that, I was mixed feeding and fed more often.

Oh probably, that normally riles people up :o