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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who should get this money

145 replies

TheresNothingIWantMore · 11/02/2021 20:52

OK, I'm going to try to write this as even handedly as I can - light hearted as we've come to an agreement but want to see what others think.

I'm one of a couple with 2 children who are signed to a model agency. When they were signed up we agreed all money earned by the children would be theirs and set up a separate account.

One of the boys recently had 2 days of filming, and on top of their pay there is £150 chaperone payment as the child has to be accompanied at all times. Usually they hire someone for this but due to covid they're minimising people so pay the parents instead.

Parent A thinks they should have the money as they were the chaperone, parent B thinks it should go to the children as its part of the pay for the job.

Some details to avoid drip feeding, sorry if it makes it a long post!

Parent A would have been going anyway, didn't expect payment and had a good time. They had to use a days holiday (usually holiday days are precious but maybe not so much this year with covid) Travel and food were covered so they weren't out of pocket. They have no specific plan for the money if they have it. Apart from this money we have no savings for the childrens future.

I'd say our financial situation is OK, we don't struggle to pay the bills each month but there's not lots left after that so apart from a takeaway and a few drinks on a Friday there aren't many treats. Parents rarely spend money on themselves.

Both parent have read and approved this post! Grin

OP posts:
Ribidibidibidoobahday · 11/02/2021 21:47

Hi winter. Not the op but confused by your question. If someone works more of course they will earn more. If one child decides not to model are you really suggesting that the other child should give half their earnings to them?

I started Saturday job at 14. My sister didn't until 17 and only 3hrs a week. I would have been quite affronted at giving some of my pay away. Yes modelling has an aspect that is out of the children's control and I can appreciate that, but I can't get my head round giving away their money on their behalf. I mean if they're really successful they'll be richer than their parents. There are laws to prevent people redressing that balance I'm sure.

FourDecades · 11/02/2021 21:48

Parent's share it. Payment for each looking after a child each on that particular day

SheilaWilcox · 11/02/2021 21:48

Technically the chaperone, but I'd have stuck it into the child's account as without them the money would never have been 'earnt.'

£50 each? Whole family treat/day out? Towards annual 'Merlin' pass or annual pass for something the child enjoys?

LizFlowers · 11/02/2021 21:49

Chaperone should have chaperone's fee, that is quite legitimate; child earns the big bucks.

Somebody has to chaperone them so why not a parent? That is suitable and if they had a good time all during the proceeds all the better, that's a perk.

FourDecades · 11/02/2021 21:49

Just to clarify...l wrote my answer about splitting it before l read the update too!

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/02/2021 21:51

50/50 for the parents.

christmasathomeagain · 11/02/2021 21:52

The parents get the money not the child but personally, dh and I would share money and it wouldn't be spent on just the chaperone

CherryBlossomTree7 · 11/02/2021 21:53

It should just go to the chaperone parent. The payment is for the chaperone. The chaperone should use it to do something nice with parent B.

Love51 · 11/02/2021 21:58

This is Mumsnet therefore the correct answer is Family Money. Unless you can somehow consider it an inheritance! (Money flowing through generations)

I understand your gripe, OP. You do all the management work of getting the gig etc, DH does the fun bit (although probably a long shift) and gets paid, how's that fair?! Presumably there are expenses for the children's modelling - who usually pays for those? Can it pay for the next lot of publicity materials or whatever you next have to spend for?

Dashel · 11/02/2021 21:59

I would start a pot for family days out and extra treats on holidays or possibly something fun for the house for family as a whole and then put money like that in there.

nancywhitehead · 11/02/2021 22:02

I guess it's a bit weird to want to keep the £150 when it could go into your child's pot. But it is technically the chaperone's pay, not the child's, so you can't demand it if they want to keep it.

Gatehouse77 · 11/02/2021 22:02

I’d consider it family money rather than personal. We’d put it towards a day out, a meal or some such.
It wouldn’t be going to the child as their earnings are unaffected by the decision to chaperone. The fact that the parent had a fun time whilst earning is a bonus!

TheyIsMyFamily · 11/02/2021 22:03

Based on the updated info, the chaperone fee should be split between the parents, the parent who actually chaperoned and the other parent who made it possible by staying with the toddler.

Family treats.

candle18 · 11/02/2021 22:05

Parent should receive the chaperone money, it would have gone to another paid chaperone pre Covid presumably so was never for the child.

littlefireseverywhere · 11/02/2021 22:06

Parent A. No brainier

saraclara · 11/02/2021 22:06

@nanbread

Personally I'd share it between the adults in our household, as presumably either parent could have taken the leave and gone, and I'm assuming the parent at home had to look after the other child.
Yep. The children's pay is the children's money. The parent's pay is the parent's money.

But unless the chaperoning parent had to lose pay in order to chaperone the child, it would be gracious to share the windfall with their partner.

NoProblem123 · 11/02/2021 22:10

It should go into the parents shared ‘pot’ same as any other income either parent makes.

Definitely not the child’s money.

dailydose · 11/02/2021 22:12

on top of their pay there is £150 chaperone payment

You said it yourself on your list. It's the chaperone's money. Why is this even an issue?
The chaperone is of course entitled to spend the money how they please

bridgetreilly · 11/02/2021 22:14

It's the parent's money, but I would suggest in the circumstances that they use it on something that is a treat for all the family.

NeverHadANickname · 11/02/2021 22:14

I'm actually quite surprised by these responses, I didn't think I'd be in the minority. I would have put it in the DCs bank account.

steff13 · 11/02/2021 22:14

@NoProblem123

It should go into the parents shared ‘pot’ same as any other income either parent makes.

Definitely not the child’s money.

I agree with this.

I initially thought you were A, now I'm thinking you're parent B. Which are you?

PeggyHill · 11/02/2021 22:15

The money belongs to the chaperoning parent. If they decide to give it to the child that is fine, but they should only do that if they especially want to. It is their money to decide.

GoudaGirl · 11/02/2021 22:16

If you pay tax on it then surely its better to go to the childrens account.
If you aren't paying tax then 50/50 to parent with the view that the next time the other partner chaperones.
If you cant agree on either the above spend it on something for everyone.

Eddielzzard · 11/02/2021 22:17

Parents should split £75 each, since B does all the legwork.

bridgetreilly · 11/02/2021 22:17

@NeverHadANickname

I'm actually quite surprised by these responses, I didn't think I'd be in the minority. I would have put it in the DCs bank account.
That's fine. It's always fine for a parent to put money in their child's bank account. But the child doesn't have a 'right' to this money. They haven't earned it.