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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who should get this money

145 replies

TheresNothingIWantMore · 11/02/2021 20:52

OK, I'm going to try to write this as even handedly as I can - light hearted as we've come to an agreement but want to see what others think.

I'm one of a couple with 2 children who are signed to a model agency. When they were signed up we agreed all money earned by the children would be theirs and set up a separate account.

One of the boys recently had 2 days of filming, and on top of their pay there is £150 chaperone payment as the child has to be accompanied at all times. Usually they hire someone for this but due to covid they're minimising people so pay the parents instead.

Parent A thinks they should have the money as they were the chaperone, parent B thinks it should go to the children as its part of the pay for the job.

Some details to avoid drip feeding, sorry if it makes it a long post!

Parent A would have been going anyway, didn't expect payment and had a good time. They had to use a days holiday (usually holiday days are precious but maybe not so much this year with covid) Travel and food were covered so they weren't out of pocket. They have no specific plan for the money if they have it. Apart from this money we have no savings for the childrens future.

I'd say our financial situation is OK, we don't struggle to pay the bills each month but there's not lots left after that so apart from a takeaway and a few drinks on a Friday there aren't many treats. Parents rarely spend money on themselves.

Both parent have read and approved this post! Grin

OP posts:
nanbread · 11/02/2021 21:01

Personally I'd share it between the adults in our household, as presumably either parent could have taken the leave and gone, and I'm assuming the parent at home had to look after the other child.

HTH1 · 11/02/2021 21:02

I would personally have added it to DC’s bank account. But, if not, spend it on something the family can enjoy e.g. nice food or a treat after lockdown.

If the parents do decide just to spend it on themselves, it should definitely be for both parents and not just Parent A (unless of course Parent B gets to keep all of their own earnings while Parent A pays all of the bills).

AmyandPhilipfan · 11/02/2021 21:02

Definitely to the chaperone parent. Look at it this way, if Covid wasn’t around that money wouldn’t have come to your child, it would have gone to their chaperone. So it is not part of the child’s fee.

To be honest, in our family my husband and I have joint accounts so the money would just end up in the general family pot anyway. But I wouldn’t be specifically giving it to my child as their fee would be separate for their savings account.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 11/02/2021 21:03

Use it for a treat for the whole family

LawnFever · 11/02/2021 21:04

@StoneofDestiny

I'd put the money aside and use it for a nice night out for you all when lockdown is over - win win for all
Yes, I agree put the money aside for a family meal or day out
RaininSummer · 11/02/2021 21:06

It's the chaparones pay of course. I they don't need it or want it, then the can choose to put in a family treat pot or into the children's savings.

Jackie2022 · 11/02/2021 21:06

Personally I think it would be a nice gesture to add it to the child’s savings account. The parent is not any worse off as their other expenses were covered and they would have attended regardless of being paid. But I do think it should be their choice.

kittensmittens1 · 11/02/2021 21:06

Chaperones money.

I reckon you're the mum and parent A.

gottakeeponmovin · 11/02/2021 21:07

The chaperone earned the money. It was not wages foe the kid. Don't even understand why it is a discussion

ItsNotAlrightButItsOkay · 11/02/2021 21:09

The chaperone definitely. Can you let us know who the chaperone was please.

triplettrouble · 11/02/2021 21:10

I think you're parent B

VinterKvinna · 11/02/2021 21:10

it should go to the Parent who went to the shoot, they had to be responsible, the models didnt lose anything, and therefore they dont need to have the money

TierFourTears · 11/02/2021 21:11

Chaperone should get yge cash, but if I was parent A, Id use it to treat the family.

AbsitivelyPosolutely · 11/02/2021 21:11

I'd save it for my child because I wouldn't need it, but if the family could benefit from it then the chaperone should get it.

Oysterbabe · 11/02/2021 21:13

The chaperone should use it to buy something nice for the whole family to enjoy.

CaptainMerica · 11/02/2021 21:14

I don't see why parent A should get it, just because they were the one who happened to go along. Were they the one who organised the whole situation for the children? If parent B does a day of overtime, do they keep that instead of putting it in the family pot? If so, then it's maybe fair.

But if neither parent gets much personal spends, then I'd split it 50/50.

OrigamiOwl · 11/02/2021 21:15

I think if the chaperone has had to take a days leave off their paying job then the money belongs to them.
It would be nice if they used or for a family great, but it's up to them as it's their money.

Muskox · 11/02/2021 21:15

I agree with the people saying to use it for a family treat.

vinoandbrie · 11/02/2021 21:16

I’ve been chaperone for my child while they were filming and got a small payment - it went to my child, I wouldn’t have dreamt of keeping it.

But it’s easy for me to say that, I didn’t need the money and was keen to maximise what my child was getting and put it in their bank account.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 11/02/2021 21:17

The parent should keep it

Trisolaris · 11/02/2021 21:17

Chaperone’s pay is theirs, or added to family pot if the parents operate that system. If they feel generous they can treat the family with it or use some to top up the children’s accounts.

StressedTired · 11/02/2021 21:18

The child didn't earn the money so it's not theirs. It doesn't matter if the parent was going anyway, the payment is still for the parent for them being a chaperone. So either the parent keeps the money, or if the parents really don't need/want the extra then perhaps split it between both children as an unearned bonus for both.

londongirl12 · 11/02/2021 21:19

I would spend it on something for both parents. Not just for one of them.

rhowton · 11/02/2021 21:20

The £150 goes in to the family pot! If I took my child to a dance competition and got £100 for just being there, I wouldn't keep it myself, it would be family money 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you hadn't used the word couple, I would have assumed you were separate.

IndecentFeminist · 11/02/2021 21:21

Parents. Not necessarily the actual chaperone as I'm sure both parents have done it in the past and it just so happened that this particular job merited pay. Parents should keep hold of it.