Bit rude response re child with SEN

[yearnewwhatever]

On the phone to GP surgery ensuring that it's on the record that I'm a carer for my autistic son (he gets DLA and we get careers allowance) as we've been told to do to ensure group 6 vaccination.

Conversation goes....
Surgery 'so your child has problems?'
Excuse me?
Surgery 'your child isn't normal?'
Um, he is normal actually.....
Surgery 'I'm just trying to find out what's wrong with him'
Nothing is wrong with him and you're being quite offensive?
Surgery 'I'll put you on hold'

🤷‍♀️

AIBU to suggest some disability awareness training is in order?

My poor boy heard it all on speaker phone (my mistake)and is now asking why his autism makes him not normal....😡

What a disgraceful thing to happen. Report this person. They need to some training ASAP.

@minipie

he receives DLA and carers allowance as the government recognises the extra resource required to provide additional support. Not sure how that equates to autism being a problem

She asked if he “has problems”. Problems surely includes needing extra support over and above the average? If that’s not a problem then what is??

Your attitude

nicky7654

How dare you.

If that’s not a problem then what is??

Your attitude. That's a problem.

A condition needing support? Not a 'problem'.

@nicky7654 do you actually see children with additional needs as not normal then? Or are you just being deliberately goady?

I'm bowing out of this thread now. I'm saddened by some of the disabilist comments (even if most have been deleted now)

And learn some grammar if you're going to be disgusting

What is your child's condition' is not a difficult sentence for someone working in this role
That would definitely be a better choice I'd assume they'd learn these customer friendly skills during medical secretary's training.

understand you're upset but doesn't having a disability mean having a problem

Even if it did, this is not the way to refer to it. There is enough toxic ignorance from the general public without encountering it from HCPs and their entourage.

@nicky7654

I think the only attention seeker here is nicky7654.

Yes why is the form not called PLA for problem disability allowance????

Jesus wept

How articulate is your son? My not so little (6ft 2 and growing) autistic son is now 17 and the phrase 'not normal' and various itterations of it have come up quite a bit, with his awareness, teenage frustration and questioning being greater over his teen years.

This past year transitioning from school into an apprenticeship and moving from DLA to PIP (assessment days before lockdown 1) very open discussion about 'whats wrong with him' has been cringeworthy at times.

We have had some very frank discussions about 'not normal' That being not normal isn't necessarily something he needs to associate with negativity. Not normal doesn't mean that not brilliant and inspirational - it can be quite the opposite.

History’s 30 Most Inspiring People on the Autism Spectrum

Though autism did not become the mainstream diagnosis it is today until well into the 20th century, it is certainly not anything new. Indeed, history is full of people who many consider to be or have been somewhere on the autism spectrum. Like the 30 people on this list.
Famous Autistic People in History

Dan Aykroyd – Comedic Actor
Hans Christian Andersen – Children’s Author
Benjamin Banneker – African American almanac author, surveyor, naturalist, and farmer
Susan Boyle – Singer
Tim Burton – Movie Director
Lewis Carroll – Author of “Alice in Wonderland”
Henry Cavendish – Scientist
Charles Darwin – Naturalist, Geologist, and Biologist
Emily Dickinson – Poet
Paul Dirac – Physicist
Albert Einstein – Scientist & Mathematician
Bobby Fischer – Chess Grandmaster
Bill Gates – Co-founder of the Microsoft Corporation
Temple Grandin – Animal Scientist
Daryl Hannah – Actress & Environmental Activist
Thomas Jefferson – Early American Politician
Steve Jobs – Former CEO of Apple
James Joyce – Author of “Ulysses”
Alfred Kinsey – Sexologist & Biologist
Stanley Kubrick – Film Director
Barbara McClintock – Scientist and Cytogeneticist
Michelangelo – Sculptor, Painter, Architect, Poet
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart – Classical Composer
Sir Isaac Newton – Mathematician, Astronomer, & Physicist
Jerry Seinfeld – Comedian
Satoshi Tajiri – Creator of Nintendo’s Pokémon
Nikola Tesla – Inventor
Andy Warhol – Artist
Ludwig Wittgenstein – Philosopher
William Butler Yeats – Poet

Awful @yearnewwhatever totally out of order and massive retraining needed

Not great OP but I’m willing to bet that receptionist has had people trying to get on the carers list for the flimsiest of reasons.

None of which excuses the language used of course, but perhaps provides some context.

@myfriendsgivebadadvice I agree her reference was awful in her role. I mean you get stupid things said all the time, people often tell me "DS looks normal"

imagine being so ignorant you don't understand what is wrong with what the woman said, and then even more ignorant than that, willing to advertise and defend such a lack of critical thinking skills.

I would definitely make a complaint.

The nature of your DS's illness isn't relevant and also it's all on his GP records anyway, so there'd be no need for her to say any of that.

If they still are difficult about it, you could send them a copy of his DLA award letter.

Doesn't matter of shes had a 1000 peole ring up, in a professional job, you uses the correct language or you don't do the job. Simple.
I had a SENCO call my son naughty boy syndrome when he was in primary school.
Shocking.

[quote yearnewwhatever]@nicky7654 do you actually see children with additional needs as not normal then? Or are you just being deliberately goady?

I'm bowing out of this thread now. I'm saddened by some of the disabilist comments (even if most have been deleted now)[/quote]
I find autistic kids quirky, honest, kind and clever who view the world a little different from what we do, if that makes them "not normal" to the "normal" people then that's fantastic, the so called "normal" people are just jealous they are the same and boring biased clones of each other.

Some conditions are only a 'problem' because they are different in a world constructed to suit the majority. They aren't a problem in and of themselves and people with this difference don't appreciate the assumption, thank you very much.

However, there are other differences that would be considered a problem in any possible world. And guess what. They get sensitive, respectful terminology too. Someone who cannot see the point of that has a bigger 'problem' and we need a word for that, especially if it falls in their professional remit.

Bigoted? Insensitive? Unprofessional?

Let's let the Equality Commission decide.

OP, I'd write a letter to the above organisation and the Practice Manager, letting him/know that you have also made contact with the Equality Commission.

It is not OK for anyone to speak about anyone with a disability this way and there is no 'correct way' in which you should have responded. I'm surprised at the ignorance of some people suggesting there was a way to respond appropriately to her behaviour.

I would call to discuss informally with the practice manager. In all honesty, it's awful behaviour on her part. An apology is certainly due, as is retraining, you can achieve that from a call and save the practice time and paperwork over a formal complaint right now. Not to minimise what happened of course.