Bit rude response re child with SEN

[yearnewwhatever]

On the phone to GP surgery ensuring that it's on the record that I'm a carer for my autistic son (he gets DLA and we get careers allowance) as we've been told to do to ensure group 6 vaccination.

Conversation goes....
Surgery 'so your child has problems?'
Excuse me?
Surgery 'your child isn't normal?'
Um, he is normal actually.....
Surgery 'I'm just trying to find out what's wrong with him'
Nothing is wrong with him and you're being quite offensive?
Surgery 'I'll put you on hold'

🤷‍♀️

AIBU to suggest some disability awareness training is in order?

My poor boy heard it all on speaker phone (my mistake)and is now asking why his autism makes him not normal....😡

I hope that person is a temp. I worked in a similar job in a different country and absolutely no way would myself or my colleagues would even think to say something like that

I work in a medical centre and would def report this, the member of staff clearly needs more training.

Anyone who in receipt of carers allowance is covered under category 6 for vaccine. The following is what we were told by our DD's Special School:

Category 6 of Covid-19 priority groups include those who are in receipt of a carers allowance or those who are the main carer of an elderly or disabled person whose welfare may be at risk if the carer falls ill.

For you to be able to access the category 6 Covid-19 vaccine rollout you must be registered as a carer with you GP

Notify your GP today that you are caring for someone who's welfare may be at risk if you fall ill.

Shhhhiiiiiiiittttttt!!! That's really bad!!!

Yes, phone call and letter into the surgery manager, asap!

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

Aren't you being somewhat disingenuous to say autism isn't a problem? Your son has a carer.

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit he receives DLA and carers allowance as the government recognises the extra resource required to provide additional support.

Not sure how that equates to autism being a problem.

I suggest you get some training as well.

I don't believe anyone would suggest children with disabilities autism need fixing, or shouldn't be celebrated and accepted for who they are.
A previous poster took issue with being told to chill, because (and I'm paraphrasing here) 'that's easy to do with a child with autism' so obviously autism or disability does bring problems, it doesn't mean your child is a problem however.

Wow that's quite shocking and very upsetting for your son. I find dr's receptionists are either the loveliest most helpful people or (more often unfortunately) absolutely awful, the rudest most unhelpful, ignorant dragons going. Referring to anyone as 'not normal' is soooooooooooo offensive - would they say that about someone in a wheelchair?

Agree that “not normal” and “what’s wrong with him” is unbelievably rude however and she should be reported for that.

I think if you’d answered the first question, the others wouldnt have been in the conversation. She probably wanted to find out why you were calling re your son. Not sure how else she could have phrased that first question and depends on the context of what lead to it. How did you open the conversation when you called?

Wow some spectacular ignorance on this thread!

All the first question needed to be was “do you have proof of your status as a carer”

That it absolutely disgusting but unfortunately not unusual for a gp surgery.

I remember when I had to get a fit note for my ds as I was applying for esa for him at the time, so my conversation with one of the doctors went like this.

Me: My son needs a fit note as I’m applying for esa for him which the dwp need.

Doctor: Whats wrong with your son?

Me: He is Autistic, has severe learning difficulties and is non verbal

Doctor: So is he still Autistic

Me: Yep no miracle there yet!

I remember thinking afterwards, it’s actually quite disturbing what he said.

@minipie

he receives DLA and carers allowance as the government recognises the extra resource required to provide additional support. Not sure how that equates to autism being a problem

She asked if he “has problems”. Problems surely includes needing extra support over and above the average? If that’s not a problem then what is??

Jesus Christ.

I can't believe you really see disabilities as 'problems'.

My son does not have any problems. He has a disability that requires extra support. His disability nor the support is a problem. I'm staggered you could see it any differently. Do you see every person with a disability as a list of problems and that's what defines their disability?

Op- you are duty bound to raise this as a concern as clearly there needs to be training put in place. Shame as one would assume a gp practice was a place where this was already in place.

Although yes she was in the wrong partly, i think you were being ( unsure if this was deliberate?) awkward.
If you’d simply answered the first question it would have been job done.
She sounds like she got flustered when you wouldn’t answer.
I also have disabilities..

indeed complain, who is she to define what is normal and what isn't. No such thing as a normal or not normal child, they are all different, it's not fair to lump them into 2 groups. Kids don't do normal anyway it's not cool in their eyes.

@Ihopeyourcakeisshit

I don't believe anyone would suggest children with disabilities autism need fixing, or shouldn't be celebrated and accepted for who they are. A previous poster took issue with being told to chill, because (and I'm paraphrasing here) 'that's easy to do with a child with autism' so obviously autism or disability does bring problems, it doesn't mean your child is a problem however.

Yes I took issue because saying chill is shutting down and minimising the OP.

And it was said well you are the carer so he must have a problem.

Don't change what was meant or said.

HikeForward

Really? You really want to defend this person's choice of language and find a way to make it the OP's fault?

The OP should not have to protect her child from the possibility that someone would try to engage her in a conversation using these terms.

Just...go away with your passive aggressive BS.

'What is your child's condition' is not a difficult sentence for someone working in this role.

Omg i see it as a problem, personally, and wish it could be fuxed

I can't believe you really see disabilities as 'problems' I understand you're upset but doesn't having a disability mean having a problem, both of mine are on the spectrum with some comorbidities they both have many problems as a result in their every day life.
She used her words wrong but you wouldn't be a carer paid by the government if there wasn't a problem after all the payment is based on care needs above a NT DC of similar age not diagnoses.

YANBU and I would email the practice manager to ask them to improve their training, and awareness of procedures.

I don't think it's universally known by surgeries that carers should be identified in their records, and the entitlement to vaccines. I had a similarly frustrating conversation last year when ours rang to cancel the flu jab I had been invited to book online. Was told I shouldn't get it and it was implied that being a carer of 2 children with disabilities (who both receive DLA, and being in receipt of Carer's Allowance) wasn't the same as being a "proper" carer for a grownup . I emailed the practice manager who said the surgery had a record of the form I had submitted to them, provided by the local council carer charity, indicating I was a carer. Got a new flu jab appointment for 2 months later, and the lovely nurse who gave it to me said she would make a note on my record that I was a carer so I would get an invitation each year (implying it wasn't there already). Anecdotally from carer groups I'm in this doesn't seem to be an isolated occurrence.