Bit rude response re child with SEN

[yearnewwhatever]

On the phone to GP surgery ensuring that it's on the record that I'm a carer for my autistic son (he gets DLA and we get careers allowance) as we've been told to do to ensure group 6 vaccination.

Conversation goes....
Surgery 'so your child has problems?'
Excuse me?
Surgery 'your child isn't normal?'
Um, he is normal actually.....
Surgery 'I'm just trying to find out what's wrong with him'
Nothing is wrong with him and you're being quite offensive?
Surgery 'I'll put you on hold'

🤷‍♀️

AIBU to suggest some disability awareness training is in order?

My poor boy heard it all on speaker phone (my mistake)and is now asking why his autism makes him not normal....😡

@LovelyMagazine dingalingaling

Awful language.
Yes fine they'd need to see your carer documentation so fine to ask for that but looks like it's a training issue here

@LovelyMagazine

Formal written complaint to the surgery about the use of language, as much as anything because it’s medically imprecise and confusing: most people phoning a GP surgery are likely to have “problems”. Or something “not normal” going on, hence needing the doctor.

You said elsewhere you already received your Covid vaccine in January as a frontline NHS worker, so the bit about phoning today to register yourself as a carer to ensure that the surgery prioritises you for vaccination can’t also be the case. Wonder what else about your post isn’t true.

It's not me, it's my husband who had the call. I'm usually deliberately vague about little details so it's not outing as this place can be a bit strange sometimes. Like looking up previous posts it's really strange...

I'd definitely be complaining if that was said to me.

You said elsewhere you already received your Covid vaccine in January as a frontline NHS worker, so the bit about phoning today to register yourself as a carer to ensure that the surgery prioritises you for vaccination can’t also be the case. Wonder what else about your post isn’t true.

Crikey!

That is shocking. I would not be happy. I did not know this was possible about the vaccine op, my son has been diagnosed with Autism last month and I have not even received anything in writing yet so really unsure of anything like this.

Wow that is offensive. You’d be right to write a formal complaint suggesting training.

‘What’s wrong with x” is not a question that should be asked about anyone!

@TheVolturi

That is shocking. I would not be happy. I did not know this was possible about the vaccine op, my son has been diagnosed with Autism last month and I have not even received anything in writing yet so really unsure of anything like this.

If you are registered as a carer, you are put into group 6 for vaccinations. Have a look into the SEN boards and Facebook EHCP / autism groups etc and you should get more info / discussion. My husband is the main carer and it's supposed to ensure vulnerable individuals aren't left without support if their carer becomes ill.

@HikeForward

Well that was a bad choice of words on her part.

But why didn’t you just say you’re a carer for your son, who has autism? Or in response to the first question ‘he has autism and I’m his carer, we receive DLA and carer’s allowance’ (to imply the severity of his condition and suppress further questions!)

All she was asking was for his medical condition. Albeit clumsily and insensitively but I’m sure she didn’t expect him to be listening in or know you had it on speakerphone!

But in her job role she should know how to word it correctly.

No excuse. Parents of SEN children have enough of this crap from the general public, shouldn't have it with people in a job like that.

Thanks op I will have a look!

Yes complain if possible by email. I too got the “won’t make much difference to how quickly you get the vaccine” vibe too it does move you up (or even get you on) the list and it protects you and your vulnerable dependent.

Someone working in a medical support role should know not to speak in that way about anyone disabled, let alone to their parent.

And someone working in a medical support role around Covid vaccination should absolutely know the bandings for everyone - including and perhaps especially carers. Because that banding has been put in place to support the most vulnerable.

YANBU at all, and I hope the practice respond appropriately.

Complain. I speak as someone working in the NHS. It doesn't matter if she meant to be rude or not, she needs training to be able to communicate in a more appropriate manner

Wow I'd have been mad!

Can I ask if I need to register as a carer for my son with an ehcp because of Autism? Never heard of this

Yanbu i can't believe posters are trying to justify this as you being in the wrong. Yes put in a complaint. Shockingly offensive.

Is *a disability

@CovidHalloween Do you get DLA? Just wondering, as you clearly have a problem!

Autism is not a problem for petes sake. It is a disability. My children has needs that need additional support compared to typical children. She is not a ducking problem

I think most of the general public do OP.

It's shocking.

And a receptionist that speaks to you that way. Disgraceful.

Speaking like that about disability should be seen as serious as racism or sexism.

I'm actually sickened that some posters think having additional needs / a disability means it is a problem?

Problems can be fixed. Our children don't need fixing. They are who they are and should be proud and accepted.

I hear you