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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

927 replies

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:22

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/02/2021 13:29

@AStudyinPink

SleepingStandingUp

I’m not even going to bother engaging with attacks on my level of personal security. It’s bad manners. I didn’t say it would offend me.

Anyway, I’ve expressed what I think and will leave it at that.

So if you wouldn't be offended by a comment that wasn't bad manners because it wasn't about the actual person but their physical manifestation on the screen, why would you assume other people would irrationally be offended?
AStudyinPink · 10/02/2021 13:29

And for the people horribly offended by the teacher’s interpretation (however incorrect) the best answer is for the 9 year old to be taught not to make comments about people online, for the simple reason that they are easily misunderstood.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/02/2021 13:29

@8bitgame

I have had a long chat with him about only posting about work in the chat channel and not disrupting lessons if he is having issues. But.........just such an odd thing to think about a 9 year old.
In essence he is posting about the work though - how the repeated pixellation etc made it difficult for him, and the rest of the class agreed.

All I can think of is that they are worried that it will escalate to "Hasn't she got bushy eyebrows" type comments and want to stop it now.

ItsJackieWeaverBitch · 10/02/2021 13:29

YANBU “a bit game” what kid talks that way, let alone a 9 year old?! Confused I just asked my 13 year old who knows plenty and she wasn’t quite sure what that even meant. Can’t believe they twisted his words that way. I probably wouldn’t have understood what he meant in the teacher’s shoes but I’d have simply asked him then reacted.

Also the shallow part of me would be dead happy at being described as an 8 out of 10 at anything right now by literally anyone as I look like 5 kinds of crap and feel it too.

sandalsinthebin · 10/02/2021 13:29

Maybe he's a reincarnation of Sid James in Carry On Doctor?

MistressoftheDarkSide · 10/02/2021 13:29

Surely those saying it is commenting on the teachers appearance are over thinking this hugely? A 9 year old child has been direct about how the medium is affecting his perception of an image in language that makes sense to him and in the context of the medium. Not remotely like walking into a classroom and delivering an opinion to the teachers face. In fact it shows an excellent grasp of simile or metaphor imho. Kudos to child for being able to articulate a technical issue in this way, actually, and without attaching a judgement. It reads to me like a factual observation.

IcedLimes · 10/02/2021 13:30

it's a bit of a leap to him rubbing his thighs
Ha ha. Like Vic Reeves on Shooting Stars

makeagif.com/gif/vic-reeves-thigh-rub-zkB1_k

SeasonFinale · 10/02/2021 13:31

He hasn't made a personal comment about her. He made a comment about how the screen looked like an 8 bit game so was commenting on how his screen was appearing to him in an attempt to explain why he was having tech issues.

AStudyinPink · 10/02/2021 13:31

So if you wouldn't be offended by a comment that wasn't bad manners because it wasn't about the actual person but their physical manifestation on the screen, why would you assume other people would irrationally be offended?

It’s bad manners to talk about people in a group chat like that, end of story.

Karmagoat · 10/02/2021 13:32

"I don’t think people owe you a sense of humour when you make comments about them. You don’t know what others are going to find funny versus disruptive. I would find this disruptive and bad manners. And I know it"
We're talking about a 9 year old child making a comment to his mates that one of the teachers looked like they were part of an old game not her appearance, get over yourself ffs

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 13:32

@IcedLimes exactly Grin

OP posts:
AStudyinPink · 10/02/2021 13:32

Surely those saying it is commenting on the teachers appearance are over thinking this hugely? A 9 year old child has been direct about how the medium is affecting his perception of an image in language that makes sense to him and in the context of the medium.

Someone is overthinking it. Not sure it’s the people saying “Miss X looks like” is commenting on the teacher. Hmm

LolaSmiles · 10/02/2021 13:33

And for the people horribly offended by the teacher’s interpretation (however incorrect) the best answer is for the 9 year old to be taught not to make comments about people online, for the simple reason that they are easily misunderstood
He commented on what the screen image looked like due to poor connection.
He is 9.

A better lesson for a 9 year old would be to be aware that some people go through life looking to find offence where there isnt any.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/02/2021 13:33

@MistressoftheDarkSide

Have read the whole thread with my mind boggling and a profound feeling of gratitude that my offspring are in their 20s and I have no clue about any of this stuff - hats off to the good humoured parents and children, and hopefully teachers not losing their minds right now. I'm totally tech phobic but even I know about the 8 bit thing, my gaming experience is limited to Gardenscapes!

On another note, I got A's at O level in English Lit and Lang, and I just had to Google fronted adverbials..... never too old to learn eh?

My degree included a whole module on linguistics, and I'd never heard of them.

Since meeting them on MN heads, I, too, looked them up.

It is a piece of knowledge that I think I will use about as often as I use algebra.

(I told Mrs Bryce I would never need algebra, and I was right!
IN YOUR FACE, MRS BRYCE!!! )

AStudyinPink · 10/02/2021 13:34

We're talking about a 9 year old child making a comment to his mates that one of the teachers looked like they were part of an old game not her appearance, get over yourself ffs

We’re talking about a 9 year old talking about his teacher’s appearance in a group chat. Doesn’t matter what he says or why. It’s not appropriate. And since it wasn’t me (I’m just being asked for and giving my opinion) I don’t need to get over anything. Confused

Mrsfrumble · 10/02/2021 13:34

I’d definitely be annoyed and concerned that they were so quick to project an adult / sexual interpretation on to a comment by a young child. I have a 10 year old boy and he’s nowhere near the rating people’s looks stage. He’s a little boy! And the “bit game” interpretation is grim.

I’m usually very “live and let live” when it comes to misunderstandings and differences of opinion where school is concerned, but I’d consider following this up. What else is going on there to make that a plausible reading of your son’s comment? Confused

AStudyinPink · 10/02/2021 13:34

A better lesson for a 9 year old would be to be aware that some people go through life looking to find offence where there isnt any.

You teach your 9 year old what you like. I’ll teach mine not to make personal comments about people in the group chat. 🤷🏻‍♀️

AStudyinPink · 10/02/2021 13:35

What else is going on there to make that a plausible reading of your son’s comment? confused

What do you mean?

hammeringinmyhead · 10/02/2021 13:35

When something goes pixellated on live video, it's the thing that's moving. Not the whole screen.

It's OK OP. Let the head know you'll take 2 shillings and sixpence out of his pocket money this week and you've confiscated his pennyfarthing.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 10/02/2021 13:35

@AStudyinPink

Not sure I follow?

QueenOfCatan · 10/02/2021 13:37

How ridiculous of them, I'd be thrown by a pair of teachers taking that away from the comment too, especially as some of the kids I'm working with via zoom have said similar (usually mentioning minecraft but we have a few who would know what an 8 bit game is!)

AStudyinPink · 10/02/2021 13:37

MistressoftheDarkSide

I am saying you are overthinking it. He made a comment about the teacher’s appearance on the screen. It’s not more complicated.

AbsitivelyPosolutely · 10/02/2021 13:37

But he wasn't commenting on her appearance; he was commenting on how the image on the screen looked to him due to poor connection.

His teacher happened to be the image on the screen.

The school's reaction was ridiculous. The comments on here are just as ridiculous.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 10/02/2021 13:38

Oh I see. Still don't get the insistence it was a personal comment. Whole situation is about the tech issues not the teacher ?

LolaSmiles · 10/02/2021 13:39

Mrsfrumble
I agree.
Even teaching secondary wouldn't lead to me reading a comment that's clearly comparing a frozen screen to a retro game as something sexual.
I would be concerned that someone working with my child had chosen to read something sexual into what is a daft comment about the screen freezing. With my teacher hat on, I'd be concerned that a classroom teacher felt that was worth getting the head involved too.