To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

[8bitgame]

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

The school misunderstood him, flew off the handle, and then after it was explained that they had made a mistake proceeded to double down and try to make out that it was STILL a disciplinary issue.

70s sit com😂😂😂😂

But he wasn't commenting on her appearance; he was commenting on how the image on the screen looked to him due to poor connection.

But since it is an image of the teacher and he named her in the comment, yes he was. And he needs to understand that this isn’t good manners. My husband is next door on a Zoom call with his boss. If he put in a separate group chat, “Boss looks like an 8 bit game” then, unless he and the boss had a casual relationship, that would be inappropriate. Teacher and student isn’t casual, so it’s not appropriate.

It’s obviously a misunderstanding but I know from managing online meetings that it’s a pain when people enter/leave repeatedly due to connection issues. It interrupts people’s train of thought- particularly the presenter.

If that person was also popping inane nonsense in the chat box I’d be annoyed.
I think it’s a bit of a lesson for him not to make a nuisance of himself beyond the unavoidable when experiencing IT issues that distract everyone as it is. I get it’s school and they’re just kids but it must be so irritating for teachers.

Still don't get the insistence it was a personal comment. Whole situation is about the tech issues not the teacher ?

He made it a personal comment when he put her name on the chat. It’s not hard to understand. “Screen is fuzzy” is about tech issue. “Miss X looks like [insert noun phrase]” is personal.

That was a very strange reaction from the teachers. Why on earth would you think that's what a 9 year old meant? Lol.

But I think if you've pointed out what your son actually meant then don't linger over it, just move on. Zoom is a bit stressful and weird for everyone, so just put it down to a misunderstanding.

Also you've told your son to be careful with the chat facility in future so it's unlikely to happen again.

@AStudyinPink

And for the people horribly offended by the teacher’s interpretation (however incorrect) the best answer is for the 9 year old to be taught not to make comments about people online, for the simple reason that they are easily misunderstood.

"Miss X looks like an 8 bit game" would confuse me and I'd have to ask what he meant but I think glossing over accusing a child of using sexually inappropriate language with "well he shouldn't have commented anything" is missing the point.

If school believe the child is rating the teachers attractiveness and saying she looks up for sex, they should be raising a safeguarding concern.

If they're unsure what the child meant, they should ask.

Tell the kid off for chattering online when he shouldn't by all means but his school assuming he thinks his hot teacher is up for sex is not on op or her child.

I mean maybe there have been other incidents where students have made inappropriate comments (intentionally). Which at that age is obviously disturbing and a cause for concern, but not a good reason to be projecting the same motive on to other children.

@AStudyinPink

We're talking about a 9 year old child making a comment to his mates that one of the teachers looked like they were part of an old game not her appearance, get over yourself ffs

We’re talking about a 9 year old talking about his teacher’s appearance in a group chat. Doesn’t matter what he says or why. It’s not appropriate. And since it wasn’t me (I’m just being asked for and giving my opinion) I don’t need to get over anything.

Are you familiar with the system that many schools are using. It's not a group chat. It is a facility that people on the teams meeting can use, as well as or instead of actually speaking (most schools ask for mics to be muted to avoid chaos) to draw attention to issues or ask questions.

If you think any 9 year olds language skills is sophisticated enough to be able to differentiate between the nuances of Miss looks like an 8 bit game and the image on the screen is pixellated like an 8 bit game, also taking into account he was probably getting quite frustrated at the tech not working and him not being able to participate properly and needing to explain the issue as soon as possible in a very short space of time, then well, I can only assume that you have not taught or had much to do with 9 year olds children recently. (I've done both)

SleepingStandingUp

Whereas I think the comment could be read that way. It’s not deliberate, of course, but we all know 9 year olds do say inappropriate things sometimes. I don’t think the HT is necessarily going to know what an 8 bit game is (I had no idea and I’m a millennial).

For those who don’t know what 8 bit graphics are, here is a link to a page where you can draw them:
make8bitart.com/

It’s like old Nintendo systems and the games for early home computers like Amstrad, Spectrum or Amiga and arcade machines.

I think it is possible that you have to be over 35 or under 20 to be more likely to be familiar with these.

We’re talking about a 9 year old talking about his teacher’s appearance in a group chat
No @AStudyinPink it's a 9 year old who talked about his bad internet connection making the person on screen appear as huge pixels.

There's no comment on personal appearance.

I’m sorry I can’t stop laughing

I’d be ringing the school back and clarifying why they automatically jumped to the fact he was making pervy adult comments and be expecting an apology in all honesty though. I’m laughing but it would wind me up if it was my son 😂

Comefromaway

You’re not making the right assumptions. I’m a teacher. I’m not currently using this software, but if everyone can see the comment, it’s a chat and not appropriate. Of the comment had even been addressed to the teacher I wouldn’t think it was as rude.

But anyway. Sometimes 9 year olds do things that are rude and they don’t realise it. They just have to be told.

There's no comment on personal appearance.

Have to disagree with you, and don’t think it was appropriate.

@AStudyinPink

A better lesson for a 9 year old would be to be aware that some people go through life looking to find offence where there isnt any.

You teach your 9 year old what you like. I’ll teach mine not to make personal comments about people in the group chat. 🤷🏻‍♀️

And if he is accused of inappropriate sexualised behaviour over a cheeky but categorically not sexual comment that's ok? Because you're attitude to him being accused of inappropriate sexualised behaviour seems to be well it serves him right so being cheeky?

I'm glad you are not teaching any of my children then & that I'm not working with you, that's all I can say.

@AStudyinPink so you think a 9 year old should be punished for an innocent throw away comment about someone looking like part of a game, but it's ok for two grown arse adults to misinterpret what a child has said, turn it into something sexual and then phone the mother to tell her off? Yeah still need to get over yourself.

And if he is accused of inappropriate sexualised behaviour over a cheeky but categorically not sexual comment that's ok? Because you're attitude to him being accused of inappropriate sexualised behaviour seems to be well it serves him right so being cheeky?

Not it serves him right. I’m not 9 myself. But the comment was ambiguous (I wasn’t sure what it meant, myself) and sometimes things are misunderstood. It is best if the comments aren’t made, because they’re rude.

Mrsfrumble
I agree.
Even teaching secondary wouldn't lead to me reading a comment that's clearly comparing a frozen screen to a retro game as something sexual.
I would be concerned that someone working with my child had chosen to read something sexual into what is a daft comment about the screen freezing. With my teacher hat on, I'd be concerned that a classroom teacher felt that was worth getting the head involved too.

^^
This
I teach secondary, and if I went to my Head over something like this (I wouldn't) she'd laugh me out the door.
However, many years ago when I worked in primary I was amazed at the pettiness of the staff and the Head, how everything was an issue. Parents were often patronised and talked to by staff like the kids.

Karmagoat

I didn’t say he should be punished. Where are you getting that from?

Comefromaway

🤷🏻‍♀️

Comefromaway
Same here.
It worries me to see a teacher so willing to accept adults projecting sexual meanings onto a 9 year old's comment on the grounds of but who cares because it was inappropriate and 9 year olds can be rude.

Yanbu. Mostly because what 9 year old would use the phrase 'she's a bit game'?!

@AStudyinPink

SleepingStandingUp

Whereas I think the comment could be read that way. It’s not deliberate, of course, but we all know 9 year olds do say inappropriate things sometimes. I don’t think the HT is necessarily going to know what an 8 bit game is (I had no idea and I’m a millennial).

You'd assume "she look like an 8 bit game" toean "phwoar, Miss is looking like an 8 today and TOTALLY like she wants to fuck after class? And furthermore that a child would be so exposed to this sort of behaviour that they'd openly say it in front of the teacher?