To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

[8bitgame]

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

@8bitgame

Lol what a can of worms you have opened on here! Who knew?

IsabelleSE19
Reset the clock?

After all, the child was being terribly rude and disruptive.

But there weren’t. There was one teacher, and the child - who, of course is only 9 and will make mistakes - was talking about her. And it wasn’t a polite and respectful comment.

It was a purely factual comment. You seem to take the view that commenting that she appeared as pixellated wouldn't be disrespectful or impolite, so how does saying something that means exactly the same change things?

Those saying he wasn’t talking about the teacher are deliberately misreading because they’re irritated/angered by the nature of the misunderstanding. I also think the misunderstanding was unfortunate, but it was avoidable if the child had done as he was asked.

How? If he'd said "Miss X, I'm having trouble with my connection, on my screen you look like an 8 bit game", how would that have avoided the misunderstanding given that she doesn't seem to know the term anyway?

@AStudyinPink

I have had a long chat with him about only posting about work in the chat channel and not disrupting lessons if he is having issues.

👆

And then she said

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

So after apologising (unnecessarily) she realised she shouldn’t have. And in further posts she intends to going to the school to ensure they are not holding anything on file against her son concerning this.

Btw it’s as though I’m psychic is it not? Nice to hear from you again @AStudyinPink.

I think we have all concluded that the OP's son did nothing wrong and that the teacher, headteacher and Studyinpink are all batshit.

@AStudyinPink

The misunderstanding was due to her and then the HT’s woeful lack of IT knowledge.

And this is all a bit silly. The HT and teacher are experienced professional women. I am an experienced professional woman. I’ve never heard the phrase “8 bit game” before yesterday. I’m not a gamer. That’s not “woeful”, it’s just how knowledge works; without exposure to something, you probably don’t know what it is. It’s not part of their jobs, don’t be daft.

Is it their job to to sexualize anything they don’t understand coming from a young child in their care?

Safeguarding indeed.

This thread was already a hoot but the thought of study doing a perpetual Columbo with her laptop is keeping me entertained.

OP - I hope everything works out ok with the batshit experienced professional women (to borrow study's phraseology) at the school

I think this should go in classics for the hilarious batshittery.

A child trying to describe what he was experiencing on screen to explain the issue he was having and using an example that he could relate to and teachers and posters crying out about sexualised language and disrespectful ness is completely looney.

There aren’t enough pearls in the world. Seriously neurotic

I agree - so funny

Glad all ok now op - your ds sounds great by the way!

I think we have all concluded that the OP's son did nothing wrong and that the teacher, headteacher and Studyinpink are all batshit.

This and this again. Batshit, blinkered and in one particular person - bloody dull.

Lovely to see the more humane teachers on here defending the OP's son. You always know the lovely teachers at school... and the ones who are a whisker away from going full dictator. A massive thank you to all the teachers out there who are managing to teach, juggle their own lives and have fun at the moment. Humour is so important right now.

OP I also echo everyone else telling you to make sure this has been removed from any school records.

Hi all

I spoke to the HT at length this morning. She didn't go quite as far as apologising but confirmed that they now understood what DS had meant, that DS had done nothing wrong, that the issue was a result of their lack of understanding and that he had not in any way been inappropriate. They also confirmed there was nothing on record about this incident and that there were no concerns about DS.

There was a lot of fluff about how I may have thought they were quick to sexualise what DS had said but when you do as much safe guarding training as they do etc. I pointed out that I work in a College and am on of the adult safe guarding leads so also do a lot of training but felt their reaction was concerning and inappropriate so she switched to saying children are being exposed to the internet a lot more whilst home learning.

She did agree that the terminology was so old fashioned as to be ridiculous but said DS "might be repeating something he didn't understand".

Anyway, not quite an apology and I still think they handled things very badly but I am satisfied they have agreed DS was not inappropriate and this was due to them not understanding him rather than anything he has said.

They also offered to speak to DS to put his mind at ease that he had done nothing wrong but DS told me he didn't want it bringing up again and just wanted to forget about it and move on.

So I am satisfied that it is dealt with but will keep an eye on things (and on DS to make sure it's not knocked him).

Thank you to everyone who has been so lovely. I'm quite baffled by "some" poster's insistence that my child has denigrated the good name and personal appearance of his teacher in such a breathtakingly rude manner that he needs to be publicly flogged but hey ho

I'm quite baffled by "some" poster's insistence that my child has denigrated the good name and personal appearance of his teacher in such a breathtakingly rude manner that he needs to be publicly flogged but hey ho grin

I’m glad the chat went well, OP. That is in no way representative of either my opinion or my words, though.

Just checking in to see how things were going, and to say I have talked to all my lockdown housemates about this thread and unanimously, in the real world, we are all 100% behind @8bitgame and son, and hope a sensible conclusion is reached on the part of the school.

Further analysis now has reached flogging a dead horse territory I feel, interesting though the debate has been.....if I'm allowed to say that without being assumed to be into animal cruelty, disrespecting vegans / vegetarians / breatharians / non meat eaters and single handedly being responsible for climate change.

I salute parents, children and teachers navigating the brave new world, and thank my lucky stars for being too old to be involved, because I'd probably be on a watch list now.....

Good luck to all !!

I'd feel mortified but I'd let it go. Let them have their rant. You have far more important things to focus on. Don't get sucked in!

It's a shame you didn't get an apology OP, but good that they have accepted there was no fault on your sons side.

Thanks @MedusasBadHairDay and for all your support on this thread

@8bitgame

So relieved to read your update, sounds to me you handled this perfectly with a good outcome for your DS, which is the most important thing really.

May the rest of your lockdown be drama free!

I'm glad you challenged them OP and you used your own knowledge of safeguarding to challenge their blatant hole-digging.

The head switching to yet another 'yeah but...' shows their true colours and their unwillingness to accept the teacher, and head, made a mistake. You know who you're dealing with in future.

Well, that's something, OP!

@AStudyinPink

I'm quite baffled by "some" poster's insistence that my child has denigrated the good name and personal appearance of his teacher in such a breathtakingly rude manner that he needs to be publicly flogged but hey ho grin

I’m glad the chat went well, OP. That is in no way representative of either my opinion or my words, though.

And yet you 'recognised' yourself.

Fairly good result at the end of the day OP.

Your DS knows you are not upset with him, hopefully he understands the school is not upset with him. He can just go back to normal

Faultymain5

It’s not a subtle idea to grasp, that certain others are trying to position my comments as being about “punishment” or summarise them as anything other than someone saying the DS was mildly rude and should think beforehand next time.

If lots of posters are reading your posts and drawing the same conclusions then it probably says something about the posts. 🤷‍♀️

Anyway 20 pages ago you said you were leaving it, and yet here we are on page 29 still hearing but he WAS rude.