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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

927 replies

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:22

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

OP posts:
Karmagoat · 10/02/2021 14:11

I’m going to leave it here, I think. I disagree with virtually all of you. I think some of you must share this child’s poor understanding of what is good online etiquette and I think some of you have quite dirty minds.
Hmm fucking hell

stablefeet · 10/02/2021 14:12

There are some idiotic over-reactions here. I'm sure it was the sort of comment that Op's son felt comfortable making in the environment, and he wasn't being rude or sexual. It doesn't matter what someone extrapolates who doesn't understand what was said, once it has been explained factually they should accept that. Given that the head didn't fully accept Op's explanation I would follow up with an email. Include:
"What is an 8 bit game?
The term "8-bit graphics" literally means that every pixel uses 8 bits for storing the color value - so only 256 options. ... There's nothing preventing modern games from limiting themselves to a stricter, 8-bit color palette; but the term is often used to describe old games in which using 8 bits per pixel was necessary."

Imloosingmyshit · 10/02/2021 14:12

Fgs. School supposed to act age appropriately for the kids they teach. He is 9! Simple misunderstanding. Head teacher sounds a bit fierce. It’s akin to passing notes around in class. Teachers need to rise above this. Why on earth is that the first thing she thought of when she read it!! Both need their heads knocking together I think.

LadyCatStark · 10/02/2021 14:13

I dunno, she should be quite flattered to be rated an 8, that’s not bad 😂😂😂

MixedUpFiles · 10/02/2021 14:13

Oh and as someone who works entirely from home and whose child has been doing online school for almost a year, the culture of chat during online calls is to not be distracting and stay on topic , but to still engage in the kind of real conversation you would use in person. So relaying tech problems by saying the screen looks like an 8-bit game is absolutely perfect. It humanizes the experience. My very stuffy, very formal workplace is even allowing people to post memes. How many people are complaining they miss the human experience and casual banter that happens at work? It has to be allowed to creep into these chats just a bit. Not getting off topic, but just letting people be people.

Nanny0gg · 10/02/2021 14:13

@DimidDavilby

How old are they? Surely an 8 bit game is fairly understood term, unlike "a bit game" which sounds distinctly Carry on ie about 50 years out of date!
I'm old and I understood it.

{must get Megadrive working again)

hammeringinmyhead · 10/02/2021 14:14

Love it when someone says they're "done" with a thread 3 times. Grin

Greendoonan · 10/02/2021 14:14

YANBU. Its perfectly reasonable for your son to comment on the picture quality. If he doesn’t say there are connection issues then how are they supposed to get resolved? It’s not your fault they’re thick and don’t know what an 8 bit game is. I’d have explained they’d misunderstood the comment but I certainly would have expected an apology from them for THEIR mistake.

LolaSmiles · 10/02/2021 14:15

stablefeet
I agree with you, though I hope you don't think I was extrapolating (i was just trying to highlight what should happen if a teacher genuinely did believe that a 9 year old was making sexual comments)

You would think the teacher and the head would have googled '8 bit game' if they didn't know what it meant before calling the OP, and at the very least might have done a quick Google after the OP explained.

rainbowunicorn · 10/02/2021 14:19

@AStudyinPink

He was commenting on how the picture looked ffs

He was commenting on how the teacher looked ffs.

It’s just not appropriate.

“The picture is fuzzy” would be fine. He didn’t need the comedy.

The screen wasn't fuzzy though, it was pixelated, very different things.
Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 10/02/2021 14:19

Morons. As if a child would even know let alone say " a bit game" they are utterly ridiculous OP. I'd be fuming too.

BoyTree · 10/02/2021 14:20

I would be concerned that the head, having been shown to be completely in the wrong by the OP's explanation, continued with the 'telling off' to the OP. Treating a parent with a reasonable explanation like this doesn't bode well for a child that might need listening to rather than a bollocking.

Greendoonan · 10/02/2021 14:21

Given 8 bit games were around 1980 how was she supposed to know what his comment referred to
Erm because it’s common knowledge?

I don't see why a 9 year old would know the term
So you think children shouldn’t know about anything that happened before they were born? Sorry but that’s ridiculous.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 10/02/2021 14:24

Also, the attempt to say the DC was lying about connection issues is quite out of line, unless said child is known to be of Bond villain level manipulation skill, trying to suggest the situation has been engineered by said child to shoe horn in his cheeky chappie and outdated tendency to misogyny into class chat is massively over reaching and somewhat offensive.

BoyTree · 10/02/2021 14:26

Given 8 bit games were around 1980 how was she supposed to know what his comment referred to - I don't see why a 9 year old would know the term.

So you, an adult, cannot fathom how someone else would know a term that you don't. But a nine-year-old is supposed to be able to divine that his teacher might misinterpret his comment. You appear to have much higher expectations of this child than you do of yourself.

Greendoonan · 10/02/2021 14:27

But since it is an image of the teacher and he named her in the comment, yes he was
What a load of nonsense. Any comment along the lines of “You look blurry”, “You look pixelated”, “You look like an 8 bit game” is quite clearly a comment on picture quality and not referring to the personal appearance of individual in the picture. The same as saying “You’re breaking up” on the phone is a comment on the call quality and not a criticism of the persons voice.

livefornaps · 10/02/2021 14:28

Remember that school is no longer about interaction and socialisation. You have to keep your head down and remain silent with all the other drones. Welcome to Slave Ship UK

MedusasBadHairDay · 10/02/2021 14:28

He said “Miss X looks like...” to his friends. Not “the screen is fuzzy”. It’s bad manners. Anyone who thinks they’d say something similar about a colleague (not a good friend) and not risking offending them also has bad manners

If someone wrote, "Having connection issues, [speaker] looks like an 8 bit game" I can't imagine anyone being offended

Had a call the other week at work where someone said, "Think my connection isn't great. [speaker] sounds like Chewbacca!" No one got offended, because they clearly weren't being derogatory or commenting on the speakers actual voice.

2021hastobebetter · 10/02/2021 14:28

[quote 8bitgame]@2021hastobebetter

There were no further comments in response to his and no one answered his comment. No students complained about him disrupting the lesson. Other students were posting about their connection issues. I know this because I can see the chat.

The chat is there for them to ask questions about their work or let the teacher know if they are having IT issues. Which is what he was doing.

I think you might be projecting your own IT frustrations here a little bit. Hmm[/quote]
Let's rephrase that shall we?

Did any students verbally say anything? Not just the chat function. Did anyone follow up with an email or message to the teacher -or any other parents complaining about him about his comment? (You aren't party to this -but it could of happened etc) and so on.

Was it a message that added anything to the lesson -no.
Was it a comment which was appropriate? no.
Was it on topic ? no.

Ergo I rest my point. But even if we do consider his behaviour as a "mistake" why don't you and he own it, instead of projecting yourself into the situation. Tell him off. Apologise. Let it drop.

I still think the normal human response when reading that message your son wrote is to think he has written something inappropriate.

You say yourself "The chat is there for them to ask questions about their work or let the teacher know if they are having IT issues. Which is what he was doing."
No he wasn't -he didn't write. Sorry Miss I'm having a few connection issues.
He wrote a comment off track, off topic and one that doesn't make much sense or at least when you read it -it implies he is commenting on his teacher's appearance.

I don't think my 14 year old computer whiz knows what an 8 bit game is and neither does my 7 year old. I wonder (and this is projecting) if he DID make an inappropriate comment and now you are trying to find a different meaning for what he said.

laudete · 10/02/2021 14:29

This is surreal. The chat function is for kids to raise issues. Are the school staff upset he didn't write "pixellated" instead of "8-bit"?? He literally described what he could see on the screen, in age-appropriate vocabulary. YANBU. It must also be distressing that you had to try to explain what the teachers thought he had written.

ivfbabymomma1 · 10/02/2021 14:31

I'm sorry but this is hilarious 😂😂😂 the school should be absolutely mortified not you!!!! They've made an innocent situation into something it isn't! How stupid!!!

SleepingStandingUp · 10/02/2021 14:31

@AStudyinPink

I’m going to leave it here, I think. I disagree with virtually all of you. I think some of you must share this child’s poor understanding of what is good online etiquette and I think some of you have quite dirty minds.

Have a good afternoon.

You agreed with the teachers interpretation of him saying she was hot and up for sex. It isn't other posters dirty minds that's a worry
MistressoftheDarkSide · 10/02/2021 14:31

Ffs saying a computer generated image of a person looks like an 8 bit game due to technical issues is inappropriate from a 9 year old? It wasn't a personal comment!

brassmonkeywife · 10/02/2021 14:32

HM has explained school's concern, you have explained. Clear misunderstanding. Lessons (!) learned all round. Onward and upward!

Greendoonan · 10/02/2021 14:32

the best answer is for the 9 year old to be taught not to make comments about people online
Good thing he didn’t make a comment about anyone then. He made a comment about the picture quality.

We’re talking about a 9 year old talking about his teacher’s appearance in a group chat
Are you really this thick or just trying to be funny? He didn’t comment on her appearance. He commented on the picture quality.