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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

927 replies

8bitgame · 10/02/2021 11:22

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

OP posts:
Freyanneke · 10/02/2021 14:32

Thank you for posting this. All the mothers of children who do regularly are in trouble surely had a good laugh now. What a ridiculous reaction of the head though.

TwelvePaws · 10/02/2021 14:33

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

🤣🤣🤣 I would have had to call the head back later when I’d stopped laughing. 🤣🤣🤣 Teachers having such comprehension issues is a bit concerning. 😬

But yes, send a screenshot to show other kids were having connection issues and tell them to read what your son actually wrote, not what they made up.

It’s quite funny though. 🤣🤣🤣

MedusasBadHairDay · 10/02/2021 14:34

I don't think my 14 year old computer whiz knows what an 8 bit game is and neither does my 7 year old. I wonder (and this is projecting) if he DID make an inappropriate comment and now you are trying to find a different meaning for what he said.

So because your kids don't know what an 8 bit game is, no one else's can? Fwiw both mine do, both play Stardew Valley - an 8 bit style game, and have played some games from the 90s (though declared these were far too hard)

AStudyinPink · 10/02/2021 14:34

Are you really this thick or just trying to be funny?

What’s funny is that there are multiple grown adults here pretending they don’t know that “Miss X looks like a...” isn’t a comment about how Miss X looks. Or it would say “The screen looks...”

And it didn’t. So...

Eckhart · 10/02/2021 14:35

I'm glad I'm not the only one finding this really funny. It's the school's interpretation that's funny, though, OP, rather than anything you or your son has done.

The head can't admit fault without blaming the teacher and they're the ones who should be mortified, not you.

I can't help picturing your son as a really small Del Boy Trotter, in a sheepskin coat, giving a cheeky wink to Miss. It's SO inappropriate, it's hilarious!

AStudyinPink · 10/02/2021 14:35

You agreed with the teachers interpretation of him saying she was hot and up for sex. It isn't other posters dirty minds that's a worry

This is so gross. Nobody said “up for sex” except you.

MedusasBadHairDay · 10/02/2021 14:36

@Eckhart

I'm glad I'm not the only one finding this really funny. It's the school's interpretation that's funny, though, OP, rather than anything you or your son has done.

The head can't admit fault without blaming the teacher and they're the ones who should be mortified, not you.

I can't help picturing your son as a really small Del Boy Trotter, in a sheepskin coat, giving a cheeky wink to Miss. It's SO inappropriate, it's hilarious!

It's an incredible image 😂
hammeringinmyhead · 10/02/2021 14:36

OP did say, in her very first post, that the comment in the chat was made after her son typed he was having connection issues. It wasn't apropos of nothing.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 10/02/2021 14:37

9 year old child comments on what he can see. He can see Miss X. Not the real Miss X. A computer rendering of Miss X. He is a child.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 10/02/2021 14:37

@livefornaps

Remember that school is no longer about interaction and socialisation. You have to keep your head down and remain silent with all the other drones. Welcome to Slave Ship UK
This. I did teacher training back in the day, DD is a teacher. Neither of us would have taken this very po faced approach, and overreaction. Is the school just a very isolated environment, or is it just Lockdown Madness? On a side not, you have given me a good laugh today. Glad that you unlike the teachers in this case have a sense of humour about it. Grin
8bitgame · 10/02/2021 14:37

I'm going to have to get him a sheepskin coat for when he goes back now...........Grin

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 10/02/2021 14:38

Can you imagine op trying to explain why School have disciplined him?

well you said she looked like an 8 bit game
Because she looked like she was made out of squares
Yes but she didn't understand
So what did she think I meant?
That you rated her 8/10 on attractiveness
Uughh she's really old, she's about 30!!

That's not nice and not the point.
Sorry. But I said about the bit game but too
Well yes
What?
Miss understood that too
What did she think I meant
That she was up for sex
What does that mean?
That you thought she was ready for sex
But why would I say that? She was teaching us algebra not making a baby with Mr Smith
Well, quite...

AIMummy · 10/02/2021 14:39

This reminds me of some bizarre cases I've heard of in the last few years where a child says something innocently and instead of asking the parents or the child themselves for context or an explanation, the paranoid teacher has got straight on to reporting to Prevent, scarring the child and their family in the process.

howthefuck · 10/02/2021 14:40

@8bitgame

I do get they might not have understood what an 8 bit game is but it's a bit of a leap to him rubbing his thighs and calling his teacher "a bit game" and rating her a solid 8. Hmm
Really made me laugh
MedusasBadHairDay · 10/02/2021 14:40

@8bitgame

I'm going to have to get him a sheepskin coat for when he goes back now...........Grin
Please do, and a flat cap. See if he can copy the Sid James smirk 😂
ThroughTheEyesOfATigger · 10/02/2021 14:41

@Surlyburd

I think its not so much what he said, but the fact that he was disrupting the lesson and the chat afterwards. Its really annoying having children type silly comments and observations, but for him to be in trouble seems a bit harsh, I would have just reminded all of the children on the chat that use of silly comments arent welcomed. There was no reason in my opinion to get the head teacher involved after one incident.
This being the case it would have been so much better if the HT had used the disruption to the lesson as the reason for the discussion.

Most everyone - kids, parents and teachers - are having a tough time with all the restrictions in place that prevent us leading normal lives. Unless there is a pattern of similar issues, I'd cut everyone some slack and move on.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 10/02/2021 14:44

I didn't know what a MILF was until my son explained it to me at about 13, because my ex DH bottled it. For context older boys had shouted it at me when I went to collect him early one day.

We were both mortified, and I wrote a lightly humorous letter to his HT explaining that behaviour might need to be checked when females entered the school.

In this scenario I feel for the OP having to have an unnecessary conversation with her DC about a situation entirely brought about by apparently neurotic adults in authority.

OhMsBeliever · 10/02/2021 14:44

All my kids know what an 8 bit game is, one of them was playing Zelda yesterday as an 8 bit.

I am now imagining your 9 year old with a Sid James voice phwoaring at the teacher. Grin

LadyHedgehog · 10/02/2021 14:45

OMG he's nine! I thought he was in YEAR 9. What sort of teacher would think that of a nine year old?!

IcedLimes · 10/02/2021 14:45

If the teacher says she has sore misgivings about what your ds wrote you could ask if she's tried putting talcum powder on them like Sid James said in Carry on Camping Grin

Skysblue · 10/02/2021 14:45

Follow up email to head.

I can’t stand it when some headteachers think they can tell off adults for no reason. They interpreted that comment in a very bizarre way and it is completely normal for a 9 yr old to comment on his teacher’s apprarance IF her appearance is so very strange because of a technical malfunction. Most teachers would laugh it off.

SpiderinaWingMirror · 10/02/2021 14:46

Utterly ridiculous.
Not quite the same thing but DD2 was punished at 5 For commenting to another child that the teacher had brown teeth. Apparently she made the teacher cry......
She was kept in at playtime for 2 days which is how I found out. Clearly there is a conversation to be had about kindness. But punishing a 5 year old?
Dd is 22 now and still says "but her teeth WERE brown!".

diddl · 10/02/2021 14:47

I wouldn't know what "8 bit game" meant.

If only there was a way to quickly find out if it was a thing rather than assuming that a 9yr old meant "a bit game".

Hmmm!

ShoppingBasket · 10/02/2021 14:47

She should be pleased she was an 8 out of 10 Grin
Seriously they both need to cop on and it certainly doesn't warrant a phone call. Obviously they got the wrong end of the stick but the head should have admitted so. I'd leave it though, it isn't worth the argument. They just look silly.
I'm also called retro, boomer and newb by my gamer son so I think he would also describe it similar.

TotorosFurryBehind · 10/02/2021 14:49

I think the school over reacted and handled this badly

However, it was also inappropriate for DS to make a comment about a female teacher's physical appearance. So a life of lesson for him.