To have initially been mortified but now a bit annoyed by call from school?

[8bitgame]

I've named changed for this as it will be outing.

DS is 9. He is home schooling with lessons over Zoom.

This morning he had connection issues with Zoom - getting kicked out, camera freezing etc. I had to sign him back in a few times and he showed me that the video feed of his teacher kept freezing up and going very blocky. He commented that she looked like an 8 bit game - as in an old computer game where the graphics were pixel blocks.

About 30 minutes after his morning Zoom finished I get a call from the Head Teacher at the school. She is far from happy and it transpires that unbeknown to me DS had repeated his comment in the class discussion chat channel. He was saying he was having connection problems and then wrote "Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

The teacher and then the Head have read this as him saying that Miss X looks like and 8 out of 10 and looks "a bit game".

I was mortified and explained this is of course not what he meant and that he was referring to the connection problems and the video feed being blocky and pixelated - like the graphics on an 8 bit game. Head was slightly mollified but still very stern and angry and I got a bit of a telling off. I apologised profusely and then had a chat with DS about not commenting on people's appearance and only using the group chat for stuff about work.

But now I've reflected I feel a bit put out as he hadn't really done anything wrong, he was commenting about his connection issues which were preventing him seeing the lesson and he's bloody 9 years old so who would read that in the way the school did??

AIBU to think it's a bit of a strange way to read that in that way and once they had the explanation maybe the tone could have changed a bit as he really hasn't done anything wrong?

I appreciate he could have found a better way to explain the connection issues and they might not be au fait with retro gaming but the only comms channel open to him was the chat feed he used and he's 9 so not always the best at explaining things.

When I told the Head he was having connection issues as were a lot of the class she said she didn't believe anyone else was (implying he was messing about and didn't have problems) WIBU to send a screenshot of the class discussion where several children were saying it had frozen and / or they had been kicked out and AIBU to think they've jumped to a bit of a conclusion here and gone a bit OTT especially by not backing down or changing the tone once it had been explained?

It feels like he's in a lot of trouble for something that is largely a misunderstanding on their part.

Buy her a DVD of Dara O Briain's Go 8 Bit to help her keep up with the youth of today...

(And yes, there's a wonderful irony in the concept of keeping up via a DVD these days...)

@SchadenfreudePersonified

Thank you and high five. Algebra was the bane of my life too!

It strikes me as the devil being in the detail here. And the leap to the idea that the whole thing implied sexually related inappropriate comment is also doing my head in.

I'm sure everyone is on a hair trigger right now but I do think the school have created their own storm in a tea cup, and I would be riled if I was the OP too.

It worries me to see a teacher so willing to accept adults projecting sexual meanings onto a 9 year old's comment

I think you should reflect on this “worry”. You must know as an English teacher that comments like this, presented online and out of context and with little in the way of punctuation to clarify meaning, are liable to be misunderstood, and far from my saying “who cares”, what I am advocating is the child being taught to avoid personal comments so that there is less likely to be misunderstanding.

“Miss X looks like an 8” would be - I think you have to agree - reasonably interpreted as a comment on looks. “Bit game” is odd language for a 9 year old, but if you are used to reading inappropriate comments from children (which many teachers are) I doubt you would immediately leap to ‘“8 bit game” must have some meaning I don’t understand’, because it’s very technical.

Anyway, I think I’ll bow out now I’ve been accused by a fellow professional of being “worrying”!

I would also be very aware that the type of child who may make a rather nerdy comment about 8 bit games i such as direct, literal way is also quite likely (like my own two kids re) to be on the autistic spectrum, whether diagnosed or otherwise. (I'm not saying the OP's son is just that as an educator it is something that would always be in the back of my mind.) Direct, blunt statements can come across as rude but to the person are purely factual.

I’d never heard of 8 big game. But I would have checked. Dd is in secondary and sometimes the kids swear. They’re just reminded to behave.

The first thing I think when you said the school thought your ds had called the teacher “a bit game” is spoiled meat. Miss is a bit game ergo Miss is a bit Miss Havisham.

You'd assume "she look like an 8 bit game" toean "phwoar, Miss is looking like an 8 today and TOTALLY like she wants to fuck after class

How vile. Goodbye.

"“Miss X looks like an 8” would be - I think you have to agree - reasonably interpreted as a comment on looks."

I cannot think of any circumstance where that comment would be interpreted as a comment on looks

But anyway. Sometimes 9 year olds do things that are rude and they don’t realise it. They just have to be told.

Yes, that fair enough. But to interpret the comment as sexual when it’s come from such a young child, involve the head and call the child’s mother is bonkers! I sit with 8 yo DD during her class calls (to make sure she doesn’t switch the camera off and wander away, which she is prone to doing) and the children do put silly stuff and in the chat and occasionally say something a bit cheeky (one child asked the teacher if she was going to be talk for much longer because he was bored) but the teacher just deals with it there and then by firmly reminding them not to.

As we’ve seen from various viral videos recently, plenty of adults are struggling to get to grips with the technology and etiquette of online meetings. To expect primary school children to never slip up seems rather unrealistic.

But anyway. Sometimes 9 year olds do things that are rude and they don’t realise it. They just have to be told if a 9 year old thinks that saying a teacher looks up for sex, to get face, they either know it's rude or they are exposed to behaviours at home that warrant SS involvement.

But the comment was ambiguous (I wasn’t sure what it meant, myself) but that ambiguous that you'd question whether the child was declaring to the class you looked up for sex. You are so experienced with children that you wouldn't an what they meant and then tell them to stop using the chat box inappropriately, you'd just assume they're making sexual comments. Sorry but that is worrying. Most people wouldn't assume a 9 year olds ambiguous comment was sexually inappropriate

What is the comment on her appearance @AStudyinPink ?
What part of 8 bit game comments on her personal appearance?

I genuinely can't fathom it.

@Surlyburd

I think its not so much what he said, but the fact that he was disrupting the lesson and the chat afterwards. Its really annoying having children type silly comments and observations, but for him to be in trouble seems a bit harsh, I would have just reminded all of the children on the chat that use of silly comments arent welcomed. There was no reason in my opinion to get the head teacher involved after one incident.

Exactly. Although after he posted the comment, how did the other students respond? Was even more comments about her appearance etc written etc -did some of the other students complain about him disrupting the lesson. How would you have felt if she did the same to your son and then posted it in a chat function? and hence invite other people to post comments on HIS appearance.

An apology is needed. From you and him. You don't need to make comments about her.

From the other side -I've had hell on earth with technology since Monday -and it's not helpful to come in and see messages -'oh she's left again' etc in the chat box and smiling emoji -the frustration is on both sides. You don't know how many other comments she has had from other students -or what the other students are saying in reply. Given 8 bit games were around 1980 how was she supposed to know what his comment referred to - I don't see why a 9 year old would know the term. I don't see the need for him to have made any such comment in the chat -unless he was doing it to disrupt or for attention -he did it to provoke a reaction and is old enough to know better.

If I had a student write in a public chat box
Miss X looks like an 8 bit game".

I would ASSUME the student was calling me 8/10 and a "bit game" as that is exactly what he wrote.

The misunderstanding is on your side. You write a comment, you are responsible. Can you not seriously see the impact here? on the others? writing in the chat box and answering his comment? The offense caused, the time taken to contact you -is all due to your son's comment that wasn't about the work.

Not at my current school but my last school -I had students constantly trying to disrupt the lesson using the chat box -have some empathy for teachers here -this is not the job we signed up to do -not like this.

@AStudyinPink regardless you're still saying the kid made a comment about the teachers appearance, he didnt.

You are so experienced with children that you wouldn't an what they meant and then tell them to stop using the chat box inappropriately, you'd just assume they're making sexual comments. Sorry but that is worrying. Most people wouldn't assume a 9 year olds ambiguous comment was sexually inappropriate

But actually, anyone who understands children knows they sometimes use language that is beyond their developmental level. They might say “shagging” before they know what that is, or similar. So it’s perfectly possible that a child might say “game” in an inappropriate way and NOT mean the teacher wants to “fuck” them, or any of the other revolting suggestions thrown my way on this thread. It can be a rude or inappropriate comment without the child fully understanding it. I still think it was a misunderstanding but I don’t think the teachers have done anything terrible.

And I would think any use of the chat box to talk to friends about and not to the teacher was inappropriate, albeit not at all sexual in most cases. Just bad manners, like I said.

The question is, is Miss X an 8 out of 10?

To have quickly jumped to the conclusion that was what was being referred to!

He was in no way rude and the teacher is a nut. He is 9 and summed up perfectly what his screen looked like. His teacher just happened to be the thing on the screen which was all pixilated.

On a group zoom with my 7 year old this morning, we had connection issues and everyone kept freezing. He did laugh and say everyone looks really weird. Assuming they heard us, but it was said with no malice whatsoever. They did all look odd frozen on the screen, each with different expressions.

I'll await the call
Bonkers

I think you should reflect on this “worry”. You must know as an English teacher that comments like this, presented online and out of context and with little in the way of punctuation to clarify meaning, are liable to be misunderstood, and far from my saying “who cares”, what I am advocating is the child being taught to avoid personal comments so that there is less likely to be misunderstanding.
But it isn't personal. They were quite clearly describing the display.

“Miss X looks like an 8” would be - I think you have to agree - reasonably interpreted as a comment on looks. “Bit game” is odd language for a 9 year old, but if you are used to reading inappropriate comments from children (which many teachers are) I doubt you would immediately leap to ‘“8 bit game” must have some meaning I don’t understand’, because it’s very technical.
I'm not into gaming and know what an 8 bit game is.
Even if someone wasn't into gaming it's a huge leap to decide a 9 year old was rating how hot their teacher is, and 'bit game' isn't a phrase used by any students I've worked with. They have several alternatives though.

For argument's sake, say someone was determined to argue that the child was being sexual. The first port of call surely wouldn't be to ring their parents because talking about someone being 'game' is a very dated phrase and it would surely leave the staff with questions around where the child got it from and what material a 9 year old was exposed to where they would be confidently making sexual comments about a teacher?

So either deploy common sense and look up what an 8 bit game is before going to the head teacher, and looking a bit silly, or be genuinely convinced that a 9 year old child is making sexual comments about teacher and follow safeguarding procedures. The teacher and the head in this situation come across as very silly.

The word "inappropriate" is getting very over used these days I feel. In this scenario I think it far more inappropriate to attribute to a 9 year old predatory sexual intent when he's simply communicating a tech issue impacting his ability to diligently pursue his mandated education. Says far too much about how adults project their personal feelings onto children really.

I’m going to leave it here, I think. I disagree with virtually all of you. I think some of you must share this child’s poor understanding of what is good online etiquette and I think some of you have quite dirty minds.

Have a good afternoon.

I just don’t get why the head wouldn’t have immediately started laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Also, bit flabbergasted that there are people that don’t know what an 8 bit game is. As a geek parent, this seems like essential cultural capital that must be bestowed on the next generation. Of course my 11yo didn’t know what a penalty was during a sporting match when her classmates were talking about it

MistressoftheDarkSide
I agree with you.
If someone believes a child is using inappropriately sexual language then that is a safeguarding issue and there are policies and procedures for that.
If they don't then it's not difficult for an adult in education to find out what an unfamiliar phrase is before going to the head, and then calling the parents about a non-issue.

This is sort of hilarious, but I do feel for you, as schools have to keep a record of things which they perceive to be harassment or age-inappropriate comments. I would put in an email to the school, to say that you were putting it in writing for his record, your account of what happened, an acknowledgment that his comment was misinterpreted as the staff were not familiar with what is very innocent terminology, and a link to a page describing 8-bit games so they don’t think you’re making this up.

I hope you can look back on this and find the humour in some time.

Poor little sod, at his age, he has no idea of why everything has been blown out of proportion. Move on and forget about it, absolutely ridiculous of the headteacher to deal with this in that way, and make you and your son feel awful.

And yes, even youngsters know about 8 bit gaming nowadays.

@2021hastobebetter

There were no further comments in response to his and no one answered his comment. No students complained about him disrupting the lesson. Other students were posting about their connection issues. I know this because I can see the chat.

The chat is there for them to ask questions about their work or let the teacher know if they are having IT issues. Which is what he was doing.

I think you might be projecting your own IT frustrations here a little bit.

Am now in mischievous over thinking territory.

Would this have happened if child had been a girl?

Or the teacher had been male?

Enquiring mind off at a tangent.....

@AStudyinPink

He was commenting on the screen being pixelated like an 8 bit game, not fuzzy. Given 8 bit is a lot easier to type,I can see why a 9 year old didn't use the more technical term.

He said “Miss X looks like...” to his friends. Not “the screen is fuzzy”. It’s bad manners. Anyone who thinks they’d say something similar about a colleague (not a good friend) and not risking offending them also has bad manners.

A colleague told me the other day that I looked like a 90s TV. I understood he was talking about the video quality and didn't assume he was saying I was a grey cuboid.

How do you survive in the workplace?