AIBU to expect heating to be on?

[Glitterinthegrey]

Me & DD's are spending our days at my FIL house for the next couple of weeks while some work is being done on our house.

We're having meals here, but I brought all the food with us, and I'm doing him dinner every day too.

It's absolutely freezing in his house! Youngest DD is sitting under a duvet in the spare room, and oldest is wearing her gloves to do her homework. There is snow on the ground outside. I asked him (politely) if we could put the heating on - he says it'll come on automatically if it goes below 16.5 degrees!

AIBU to think this is too bloody cold? He just shrugged and said that we should wear more clothes!

@BritWifeinUSA

If it was 16 degrees outside people would be getting the barbecues and patio furniture out. We have ours set to around 16 (we use Fahrenheit here so it’s a rough conversion) but I’ve never needed gloves indoors.

I know😂

Well it is uncomfortable when you are not moving at all, but I don't think it warrants gloves... I would put it higher for the guests though (and I have to because apparently 18.5 isn't enough🙈) so yabu to be bit ott yanbu to exepct some compromise

16.5 would be fine for me but I wonder if pp are right and either the thermostat isn’t working properly or it’s somewhere warm.

I do think it is rude of him not to turn it up a bit, but are you all wearing warm clothes? It makes such a difference. The fact that you said he told you to put more clothes on makes me wonder if your clothes aren’t very suitable.

Do you have hot water bottles? If not, get some, and keep boiling the kettle to refill them until he realises it would be cheaper to turn the heating up

Can you take a portable heater with you (and insist on paying)? Or hot water bottles?

Or get your DH to have a word with his dad? It sounds miserable.

This is why I love our strange boiler. It just has a timer (set for 24/7 at the moment) and there is no temperature indicator so we just turn it up or down to comfort with no guilt complex.

I know it's extravagant but heating is the one thing I refuse to stint on. Fortunately DH feels the same.

I do think you need to say “DD is freezing is it okay if I put the heating up and I’ll give you x amount” if they say no again then just again say your DD is freezing and you’ll cover the cost and see if he really argues with you?

Tbh we never have the heating on at all unless we can help it, we haven’t had it on for over two weeks. We switch our hot water on for two hours a day and that’s it. We had it on for around 1.5 hours a day in December and our electric bill went from £32 to £90 which we really cannot afford. So if we had visitors I think we would probably be in the you really have to insist camp because I’m used to sitting on the couch with two blankets and a hot water bottle. 😂

Heated blankets are fab and very very cheap to run. Costs about £50 and when you leave you can take them home with you. I love them. Argos, Lakeland or John Lewis do them.

I dont love people who have money and are too stingy to be warm and comfy. You know you cannot take it with you.....

@Sweet666

What are you and your daughters wearing? If you're not wearing warm clothes and layers then I don't think you can complain. It's winter so can't expect to wear one layer... I am wearing leggings with trousers and fluffy socks, 2 tops and dressing gown when I want to be warm, when you are busy you warm up too, go for a fast walk and you will be warm when you get home

You can't expect to wear one layer? Really? While I don't expect to wander round in shorts and t-shirt indoors in winter, leggings plus trousers, and 2 tops plus a dressing gown seems a bit much, and is the number of layers I might wear outside if really cold. Indoors I'd like to be able to wear trousers or jeans, socks, and a t-shirt and jumper or hoodie.

16.5 sounds like a reasonable temperature to me - though my locked down student children think it's ridiculously low. They want it in the 20s, though that would kill me (the house would never heat up that much anyway, as there are old and leaky windows).

I don't have it on at all when they're out, not least as there's an Aga in the kitchen.

Thermometer wars are one of many reasons I'm glad I left my XH (who was also a 20-degrees type. Just put a sodding jumper on!)

I'd offer to pay for the heating.

You havent had your heating on for two weeks!

It was freezing over the weekend.

I hate cold houses, it is actually painful staying in a house that's cold. I hate when people say wear more clothes!!!! NO that's what you do OUTSIDE when it's cold and have no other way to warm up, you're in a fucking house, turn on your heating and stop being a miserable git.

I've come upon this so many times with people, the last straw was one house were we had got dressed and got into bed and when dh went see if heat could be put on we were handed coats to put on the bed.

One of my brothers doesn't believe heating should be turned on during the day, probably because he's in work, and it's only allowed on one hour at dinner and one hour before getting up. His house is so cold that you can see your breath.

@Sweet666

I don't have heating at this time of year, put some extra layers of clothes on will help a lot

We had no heating on Fri/Sat and the temp indoors was 12°, it was bloody cold. It is the midst of winter here and the outside temperature hasn't gone above -1° all day. If you are in the UK are you living in some kind of super thermal house?

If I was on my feet doing housework 16.5 would be fine, but sitting down working or watching TV I'd be absolutely freezing. Mine is set to come on at 18 while I'm working from home and I often have to turn it up to 20 by the afternoon. I wear as many layers as I can and often sit with a blanket over my lap.

@Sweet666

I don't have heating at this time of year, put some extra layers of clothes on will help a lot

Are you in Australia or something?!

My elderly df has the house like a sauna! 22c in the day and 18c at night.
I would buy the dc electric blankets that go over their knees.

You’ve asked for the heating on, he said no. It’s his house, so he does get to choose. Your choice is to put up with it or leave.

I’m guessing he is active during the day, moving around etc where DC are just sitting doing schoolwork so feel the chill more.

Maybe he’s skint, maybe he’s stingy, maybe he likes the house cool in the day, maybe he’s concerned for the environment. But it is his choice, and this sounds like a medium term practical option for you rather than a full on “guest & host” situation.

Ours is generally 18c all day, sometimes nudged to 19c for a boost when it gets dark. Put it back down for 16c overnight.

@Sweet666

I don't have heating at this time of year, put some extra layers of clothes on will help a lot

When do you have it on? July?

Our house is 13 degrees because I can't afford to heat it all day. That's with decent insulation. Maybe they can't afford it.

My heating is on every day from 8am to 8pm. I can’t stand the cold!!!

Bloody hell. Ours is set to 22 from 5.30am till 9pm, every day!

I don't think you can show up with heaters or electric blankets tomorrow when it's his utility bills, but take every hot water bottle you've got! They're amazing, sort you out when you're cold to your bones and you can pretend you're just making a cuppa when you stick the kettle on for a refill.

If it was 16 degrees outside I would have a jacket on! Therefore, inside for activities involving sitting around and not moving it would need to be a lot warmer to be comfortable- I would say 20 degrees is acceptable, 22 is preferable.

I have mine set at 3 degrees max and simply wear every single item of clothing i posses all at the same time. Easy!

“FIL, lovely to be here but, and please don’t laugh!, the children and I are real softies when it comes to the cold. Any chance we could please turn up the heating? Very happy to contribute as I know how bloomin’ expensive heating is!”