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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For thinking what's the fucking point anymore?

257 replies

SapphireSeptember · 07/02/2021 16:01

"You shouldn't say that because you don't know what people are going though!"
Which is what a woman said to me when I asked her to pull up her mask yesterday. Right back at you. How the fuck does she think me and my colleagues feel having to deal with Covidiots like her on a daily basis? (I work in a supermarket.) She had her nose sticking out and kept pulling her mask away from her face, but because she's struggling and trying her best (so am I) that makes it acceptable? She didn't say she was exempt, and honestly if you're wearing a mask wear the damned thing properly! I then overheard her say 'How dare she say that to me?" to one of my colleagues in a really angry voice. I couldn't have been more fucking polite about it if I'd tried!
(I wish I'd said what I was thinking, that I dare because I'm more scared of getting Covid and dying from it than I am of shitty customers, but that might not have helped.)
I'm getting to the stage where I just want to lock myself in my house and refuse to come out until this is all over. I'm having panic attacks, my mental health is shot, and I don't feel like I can do this anymore. I'm also autistic and find certain things hard to cope with. The only reason I go to work is because I work with some lovely people who are keeping me sane at the moment.

Added to that the two women I was working with yesterday were agreeing with her. I spoke to my manager who confirmed I'd done the right thing, and when I told them that they got shirty with me too.

Then there was the fuckwit I dealt with on Friday. Again, I asked him to pull his mask up over his nose. "I don't think so' he said, and pulled one of those sunflower lanyards out of his shirt. Apparently he's exempt because he's autistic, but chooses to wear a mask. (See above, I was also standing next to a colleague of mine who's autistic.) I couldn't quite believe it, either wear one or don't, they don't work if your nose is sticking out, he was with a young woman who was wearing hers properly and another bloke who also had his nose sticking out. (I've noticed in my area it's men who are more likely to want to share their germs with everyone else.)

Then there are the people who walk in without wearing one at all, I was doing my shopping after work and three people, not a mask among them. I asked them if they had masks, the two women pulled theirs out and the bloke said he didn't have one, but of course he didn't bother going to where we keep the spare ones, he just carried on walking along. Twat.

OP posts:
Ladiva1971 · 07/02/2021 20:08

I work in a supermarket and I have to wear the mask for 10 hours a fricking day, so why can't people wear it for the 10-30 minutes they are in the store for?

gingganggooleywotsit · 07/02/2021 20:09

Well said @bigbird1969

MrsBlue4 · 07/02/2021 20:14

@DenisetheMenace

Today 19:59 MrsBlue4

Since when did supermarket workers have the right to tell people what to do? If you're that anxious then maybe you should lock yourself away!“

Surely “supermarket workers” (patronising, much?) have as much right to a safe workplace as lofty office workers and the like? Had hoped the last year had helped to rid our society of such obnoxious attitudes.

I would be worried too if I had to encounter dozens of stupid people with their mask beneath their nose every day. I don’t have to accept that risk from strangers though because we can work from home. Can you?

What is patronising about literally referring to her job? I would say the same for any worker other than the police. It isn't for supermarket staff (is that better?) to police how people are wearing their masks.

Do people genuinely think they're at a greater risk because someone who is 2 metres away from them doesn't have a mask 1cm more up their face? If masks work why do we have to social distance? I'm sorry but the whole thing is becoming an absolute joke now!

Boboparadise · 07/02/2021 20:19

@RoxanneMonke

OP I think YANBU. I think if you really cannot wear a mask properly whilst shopping for half an hour or whatever then you probably shouldn’t be in shops for now. I think your right to not wear a mask due to health conditions or whatever should not trump other people’s rights not to catch covid from you. You shouldn’t have to police it though, the rules should be tighter in the first place
Couldn't agree more. For people who can't wear masks they have the option of face shields
Coffeeandaride · 07/02/2021 20:22

You were very polite. Yanbu.

laidbacklife · 07/02/2021 20:32

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Avidreader12 · 07/02/2021 20:33

I cringed the other day a shop worker spoke down to an adult about their mask in a really patronising way, to be honest I walked out of the shop and took my custom elsewhere, as I think all people have a right to be respected. If shop workers are so wound up about health and safety serving customers behind screens then they should speak to management not take it out on public.

Hawkins001 · 07/02/2021 20:33

It's strange, people's perceptions and attitudes, I understand people's difficulties, and exceptions ect, but at the same time, the thing the puzzles me at times is the whole conspiracy theories that people like to discuss, to me if you are very knowledgeable eg fox mulder level of understanding then it may be worth considering or at least listening to, but when it's one article or you tube video they watch, it's puzzling as to why people suddenly believe it as fact ect

pickingdaisies · 07/02/2021 20:35

OP I'm so sorry that some people seem to think that because you work in a supermarket your concerns are secondary to their "rights". At least the obnoxious posters on here can't actually breathe on you. Thank you and every other public facing worker for what you are doing.
(I'm also baffled at the number of people who still don't understand how masks work to mitigate the spread of the virus. They must stick their fingers in their ears every time someone explains it.)

iwishiwasonhol · 07/02/2021 20:38

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murbblurb · 07/02/2021 20:46

No one who doesn't work there has to be in a shop. If you can't wear a mask (as opposed to won't due to belief in nonsense or finding it a bit uncomfortable) everywhere has volunteer groups who will shop for essentials if you can't get delivery or click and collect.

Adding risk for shop workers is fucking selfish.

Banoffeepies · 07/02/2021 20:50

I work in retail. (I’m CV but not CEV if it’s relevant) We have someone asking customers without a mask if they need one. They can say no, they can walk in. We are not allowed to ask for proof of exemption we are not allowed to refuse entry to anyone at all.

I literally have no inclination to police anyone’s mask wearing. I’m not making my shit job any worse. All you can do is worry about what you can control. Wear your mask, distance and hand wash as best a possible. It’s a rubbish job, make it easier for yourself Flowers

manchestermyself · 07/02/2021 20:57

@peboh

I will also add that I have asthma, but I choose to wear a mask. However when wearing one, I often have to remove it off my nose for a few seconds as I can suffer panic attacks if I feel like I can't breathe. Most people are doing the best they can in a god awful situation. Please try and remember that. I'm sorry you're struggling right now.
Why don't you stay in all the time and have your food and other essentials delivered? It is possible to live this way in 2021 you know. If you can't keep you mask on all the time, you shouldn't go out.

mm

Weaveron · 07/02/2021 21:01

@withlotsoflove

I have occasionally had to move my mask away from my face briefly in a shop because I'm menopausal, and I might suddenly be stricken by a hot flush that is made a thousand times worse by a mask. (I detest masks even without this problem). I don't know when this is going to happen, though I move away to the quietest possible corner when it does. Am I supposed to stay at home until the menopause is over?

Grin come ON.
You’ll feel much worse if you get ill.

You know what? I thought you were going to say something a bit understanding. I am sorry I was mistaken.

Yes, I would also feel much worse if I got run over by a bus. That doesn't stop what I am experiencing now being shit. I take it you are not menopausal.

BlueBlancmange · 07/02/2021 21:02

@islockdownoveryet

You have my sympathy and I really honestly wouldn’t want to work in retail at the minute. But it sounds like you are having a shit time . The lady you questioned you said she was struggling and trying her best so it’s not necessary to tell her off . She said she was trying her best she was wearing one . And the others were exempt but wearing one , yes I agree not properly but it sounds like they are trying . It looks to me that you are taking you anger and frustration on the wrong people. Question people who aren’t wearing a mask by all means but I’d be pissed off if I pulled my mask away for a 2nd and was told off . Everyone is trying their best .
Why is it a struggle for anyone to keep their nose from sticking out of it?
TheSparkleJar · 07/02/2021 21:02

I'm autistic but wear a mask. The thing with masks and autistic people tends to be sensory processing issues, so if that man could wear it over his chin and mouth he could wear it over his nose too, the knob.

If someone really can't breathe well through the mask they're wearing, they probably need to try another kind?

It's embarrassing to explain to a friend from another country that we are all so special here when in Seoul where she lives, everyone wears one, nobody would even think to state that they are a special case who needs to break the rules for their own comfort.

ilovesooty · 07/02/2021 21:04

I'm sorry you have to go to work and be treated with such a lack of respect. Some of the comments on this thread alone are horrible.

etopp · 07/02/2021 21:04

@Donoteatthekittens

Next stop - wrap your entire body in cellophane to pop into the supermarket. 👍🏻
At the moment, I'd gladly put a plastic bag over my head, too.
midsummabreak · 07/02/2021 21:05

Well done for politely informing the customer Flowers
YANBU , supermarket workers shouldn’t be subjected to any further anger from consumers after having to remind them once again how to keep others safe in a pandemic.

TheSparkleJar · 07/02/2021 21:05

I'm menopausal, and I might suddenly be stricken by a hot flush

Take some black cohosh, it helps my Mum a lot. Though is feeling hot really a big problem when the temperatures are freezing?

CaptainSirTomMooreismyhero · 07/02/2021 21:06

I'm totally with you OP. We are all helping each other by wearing masks and supermarket staff in particular are exposed, unfairly, to people not wearing them and people not wearing them properly. It drives me nuts when people wear them under their noses too.

As another poster suggested, maybe you could wear a better mask (KN95/FFP3) and a visor.
You have my sympathy and gratitude for the job you do while many of us are safely at home and I pray you'll stay covid-free.

Weaveron · 07/02/2021 21:14

@TheSparkleJar

I'm menopausal, and I might suddenly be stricken by a hot flush

Take some black cohosh, it helps my Mum a lot. Though is feeling hot really a big problem when the temperatures are freezing?

Thanks for the suggestion. Willing to try anything!

Believe me, my heating is off. It's 4 degrees in my bedroom and I'm still hot Grin

XenoBitch · 07/02/2021 21:18

@Ladiva1971

I work in a supermarket and I have to wear the mask for 10 hours a fricking day, so why can't people wear it for the 10-30 minutes they are in the store for?
You might have colleagues who have found they can't wear a mask for hours a day either. Exemptions exist and for good reason.
AnneElliott · 07/02/2021 21:21

I feel for you op. I used to work in retail and some of the customers were awful - God knows how much worse they are now during Covid!

And yes I agree - wear a mask properly if you're wearing one.

Sunnydays999 · 07/02/2021 21:23

Some people try to wear masks but struggle