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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To just not have the emotional energy to do anything?

107 replies

user143677433 · 07/02/2021 13:57

I just don’t want to do anything. I’ve spent the weekend mooching around the house, but keep gravitating back to the bed. The kids and DH occasionally ask me to join in something or come to tell me something, and I join in or listen but then go back to lying on the bed. We went for a walk yesterday, which was OK, but then when we came back I just didn’t really do anything. I keep thinking of things I feel I should want to do, but I don’t want to.

I can’t even get together the mental energy to read. A lot of the time I’m just staring at the ceiling.

I’m basically just waiting for, but definitely not looking forward to, starting work again on Monday, closing the door to my study for 10-14 hrs of back to back zoom calls. All week will be the same, and I’ll count down the days to the weekend, but then at the weekend I will just wait for Monday again.

OP posts:

coffeecow · 07/02/2021 13:59

I really feel this. It's so depressing. No joy in anything at the moment.

gingercat02 · 07/02/2021 14:00

Me too. I have done washing and fed everyone. That's it! Back to work eat sleep repeat tomorrow 😪

lowcrabdiet · 07/02/2021 14:02

I can completely relate to this! I think this lockdown has knocked the stuffing out of us.

I started thinking about what I did in the first lockdown to try and get through. So I bought some more jigsaws and crafty bits (I'm shit at crafts, but do find them diverting) and downloaded a new fitness app.

I've set my personal expectations very low and am slowly building them up. But I still have bad days.

I don't know that I have any answers but I can promise you that you are not alone in this

glasshouse · 07/02/2021 14:02

Yep, me too. Loads of stuff I 'should' or 'could' be doing, but can't be arsed.

bumblingbovine49 · 07/02/2021 14:02

@user143677433

I can’t even get together the mental energy to read. A lot of the time I’m just staring at the ceiling.

Yup. This is exactly me

Moondust001 · 07/02/2021 14:03

If you are genuinely this bad every time that you have time off work, then I think you need to seriously look at your mental health. !0-14 hours of zoom calls back to back may keep you busy, but it very definitely isn't healthy. You may not realise this, but the inertia when you stop working is a very strong indicator of work related stress. Over short periods, work related stress is bad for you. Over extended periods it is a killer - literally.

You really need to speak to your GP about this. Don't ignore it and don't let it get worse.

Karmachameleons · 07/02/2021 14:14

Me too. 1000%

Eckhart · 07/02/2021 14:17

Since I had depression, I've thought a better name for it is 'emotional exhaustion'.

Do you normally get a bit low in the winter, OP? I think that SAD is a remnant of the need to hibernate, or at least, slow down in the winter. Our society doesn't allow for this and we're meant to keep going at 100mph, even when it's only light for 3 minutes per day.

I think it's ok to spend a lot of time in bed this time of year. How does it feel if you let yourself off the hook for a bit, and just relax into it? Will things fall to pieces?

bellropes · 07/02/2021 14:19

I'm finding weekends particularly miserable. We're just kicking our heels until Mondays.

Original poster

user143677433 · 07/02/2021 14:22

It’s strangely reassuring to hear other people say they feel the same way. Although obviously I wish none of us felt this way.

I don’t know whether it’s work related stress or lockdown fatigue or something else.

I feel guilty at the idea that it could be work related. Apart from the hours and the pace, it’s a cushy well paid job which I can currently do from home. It just doesn’t feel like much exists apart from the job at the moment.

Maybe it’s just that the usual bustle of life that would normally distract me from work stress isn’t there any more, and so work stress is expanding to fill the void.

OP posts:

Original poster

user143677433 · 07/02/2021 14:33

@Eckhart yes “emotional exhaustion” really resonates with me. And yes I feel like everything would fall to pieces if I were to relax into it. Me, family, work, everything.

But I don’t feel depressed (or I would have posted in MH), Apart from exhausted I don’t really feel anything.

OP posts:

Original poster

user143677433 · 07/02/2021 14:34

Also to everyone else feeling it, because it really sucks.

OP posts:

Spudina · 07/02/2021 14:38

This is me. I have the whole house to clean and I’m sitting here on Mumsnet trying to get up the motivation. DH had taken our kids in two walks this weekend and I know I need to go but I literally can’t be arsed. Doesn’t help that it’s so cold. I have been taken of my usual nursing job to work on Covid stuff. I hate it and think that’s taking up a lot if my emotional energy.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 07/02/2021 14:38

Isn't not feeling any a symptom of depression?

Anyway I understand where you are coming from. Lockdown is hard. I've decided to have a super healthy week starting tomorrow, so 7 days of focussed health stuff. And I want to shift the lockdown half a stone by April.

It's weird though, despite being bored I can't seem to focus my attention enough to even read a book properly. What's that all about??

Karmachameleons · 07/02/2021 14:41

I think it’s being socially disconnected.
The way we live is part of a social performance in a way, we get dressed nicely, tidy our houses, wash our cars, because at some level we think others will notice and it’s a part of who we are. We all play roles in life and others are our audience, I don’t mean in a fake way, it’s just what we do.
And now (in my case anyway) I’ve lost my audience, there’s nobody to see, nobody to care. I am playing my friend/sister/professional role all from my living room and smelling nice, having good hair having a clean house and eating nice food don’t seem to matter any more, they bring me no social reward, they only matter if I want them. More and more, I find that I care less and less and mostly what I want is to lie in bed eating cereal.

JaimeLeeCurtains · 07/02/2021 14:42

Yes I'm starting to very much feel the same. And my 'nice' relationship with DP has suddenly tanked this past week. It's very interesting that lots of women here on MN are reporting the same.

I feel a crashing emotional fatigue and a crushing sense of resentment that I am losing so many fragile freedoms, but yet have accrued additional responsibilities.

Perhaps many of us feel as if a contract has been broken, to our immense disadvantage. Personally I'm fucking sick of it.

Stinkywizzleteets · 07/02/2021 14:47

I think everyone’s in a similar boat.

I don’t have the luxury of being able to work right now so I’m stuck with the Kids 24/7. Every day is the same and I’m so done with it

Sunnydays999 · 07/02/2021 14:47

I feel like this . We have tried to do things to add a change . We are decorating a couple of rooms . Both dislike this but makes us happy when it’s done , and nice to look at . We are also planning the garden for the summer , what lights and flowers etc .
I also occasionally go on line and treat myself to something

Karmachameleons · 07/02/2021 14:49

Amd I’m also feeling old. I’m mid 30s and I feel like I’m looking back on my life saying “well, it’s been fun”. I feel a bit like the interesting parts of my life have ended, the colourful and dymanic days are behind me and now it’s just a drudge and I can’t see when or how it will get better.

My work will probably want to keep us home working at least part of the time and a lot of my colleagues quite like it.

My friends would probably rather keep zooming me rather than visit because I live so far away and they have families and won’t want to travel.

All the high street shops are closing and online shopping is here to stay.

Will the local theatre reopen? Will the library reopen? Will my running club start up again? I have no idea. I fear they will not.

I feel like I’m going to be stuck on my own in my house forever now even when the pandemic is over.

Sorry to be so depressing.

SnugglySnerd · 07/02/2021 14:53

I feel like this too. I don't want to do anything. I am irritable and just want to sit and look out of the window or watch TV and eat toast in my pjs. Unfortunately I have 3 small dcs who have other plans!! It is good that they are here to force me to get up and do stuff though.
I have put the vacuum round and chopped veg for dinner but am back on the sofa now.

Bumpsadaisie · 07/02/2021 14:56

You're not alone. I'm managing the household iobs and to watch a film with my family but really struggling to go out in the cold for a walk even tho know this would be good for me.

I really just want to be in bed alone - alternating sleeping and reading.

Macronisanarse · 07/02/2021 14:56

It's weird though, despite being bored I can't seem to focus my attention enough to even read a book properly. What's that all about??

Totally me too

Mcvitoes · 07/02/2021 15:11

Sorry, no advice, but I completely understand what you mean.

sherrystrull · 07/02/2021 15:13

I'm exactly the same. Can't even focus on a book

Tonkerbea · 07/02/2021 15:22

All of these posts are hitting home. for you all. Emotional exhaustion is the perfect description. I've hit a wall and just don't have the energy to do the things that help me feel myself again.

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