To just not have the emotional energy to do anything?

[user143677433]

I just don’t want to do anything. I’ve spent the weekend mooching around the house, but keep gravitating back to the bed. The kids and DH occasionally ask me to join in something or come to tell me something, and I join in or listen but then go back to lying on the bed. We went for a walk yesterday, which was OK, but then when we came back I just didn’t really do anything. I keep thinking of things I feel I should want to do, but I don’t want to.

I can’t even get together the mental energy to read. A lot of the time I’m just staring at the ceiling.

I’m basically just waiting for, but definitely not looking forward to, starting work again on Monday, closing the door to my study for 10-14 hrs of back to back zoom calls. All week will be the same, and I’ll count down the days to the weekend, but then at the weekend I will just wait for Monday again.

I'm like this OP. I had a melt down yesterday. DC go to a CM two days a week so I usually try to catch up with some schoolwork on Saturday mornings. DS1 complained about it and I just lost my shit, wondering when I get to have a day off or do anything fun.

I just want to go to the pub and get shit faced. Or have a meal out with my family. Or go to my parents on a Saturday afternoon. Or go to the cinema with DH on a Saturday night. Just something that isn't just sitting around at home.

If they announced covid was wiped out overnight I still wouldn't feel like rushing out to do all the things I've been missing. I'm just too meh now.

Yes @MoiraNotRuby this totally. I’ve just started to switch off. I have stopped caring and I can’t really understand why I did care.

Did I really enjoy Pizza Express? Why? And seeing friends sounds like a hassle, probably want to avoid that. And I am never commuting again but equally I hate that the working day never ends before 7pm. And I am pissed off that cinemas aren’t re-opening, not that I would go to the cinema even if they were.

Etc.

I am annoying myself even thinking about it all.

I feel the same, like wading through mud just getting to the end of the day. We go to bed early just for the day to end.

I am a good parent most of the time, but now the paints sit unused there, my craft boxes are full of winter projects that I can't face doing. I can't do anything. I am not depressed, I have been before and this is not it. This is different, it is a complete energy deficit.

I am too tired and drained to even cook something once a day properly. I am just about making it through, and wonder if I will ever be the same person again.

Same, just waiting to go back to work so I can spend all day waiting for the evening, then when the evening arrives I'll pass the time waiting to go back to work. Then I'll look forward to the weekend to do the same. Feel like life is passing by.

Ergh yes. There’s nothing to look forward to as planning anything such as holidays inevitably ends in disappointment. Weekends with this bad weather are just dire. It really is a depressing time of year, and the little things that get you through: day trips out, coffees/meals, cinema/theatre etc aren’t available. Also focusing on work as there’s nothing much else to focus on even at weekends

I am too tired and drained to even cook something once a day properly. I am just about making it through, and wonder if I will ever be the same person again.

Same @speaksofty, and I too have been feeling irrevocably changed. As if the only life I have now and will always have is that of a hermit (my three teens are with me but they are in their rooms a lot).

@PersonaNonGarter I feel the same - wondering why I used to be interested in things like decorating the house etc..., or even cooking an interesting meal.

Ah OP you've put into words how I'm feeling too. We gave a 2yo and a 5yo and I'm really struggling to hide my apathy at the moment. And like others have said, even if Covid was to disappear tomorrow I would struggle to find myself again. A part of me I think has changed for good.

A lot of posters have put it better than than me, and also made me realise some things are related even though I didn’t realise it. And very much helped me realise I am not alone, which has helped enormously!

As a poster has said, I’ve also found myself wondering why I ever cared about some of the things that would normally have distracted me - visiting friends, coffee shops, cinema. It’s all just .... beugh. It’s not dramatic. It’s not as big a thing as depression. It’s just ...totally draining.

I’ve read a lot of posters in the last year saying “the joy has been sucked out if things” but not really internalised what they meant before.

But I like the suggestion of reframing it. Resting. Actively taking the opportunity to rest when I can for the next few weeks. And then just see how things are when the evenings are brighter and there is (hopefully!) more to do than just work.

And I hope work will be quieter by then too. In fact DH and I were just discussing that it might help if I establish some boundaries with work. And I’ve admitted to myself that maybe the long hours aren’t just driven by external factors, but might be partly the same inertia - it’s difficult to stop work once started, because it has purpose and structure.

#metoo. There's a book in front of me I started 3 weeks ago, I haven't picked it up since. The only thing I am regularly doing is mumsnetting. I used to be so keen on exercise at the gym and in general, have been for 20 years but right now, I cannot be arsed. It's so odd not having a set future to think about. It's crap.

I'm the same OP, am single and by myself but cant even muster the energy to ring anyone for a chat because i've nothing to say, and can't even work atm... so its the same every day, day in day out.

I'm just waiting for Spring and hope a bit of me comes back.

It's definitely helped reading this to feel less alone. I wish we weren't all feeling like this though!

I feel very similar to others, It's like I don't believe this will end and alternate between either sadness or apathy.

This resonated so much. Past tired. Fed up. And desperately wanting a life back..........

I’m the same. I thought it was long covid (had covid early autumn) but I’m now wondering if it’s just being thoroughly fed up with lockdown. I have no motivation for anything. I am working from home. Sometimes I’m not properly motivated for that, don’t give it my all and then feel so guilty I end up ruining the whole evening as well as day. I plan hobbies, diet recipes, getting fit, contacting friends and never do any of it. I’m also worried sick about my eldest’s education as it’s a critical year for him and not going well (he’s had great grades until this year). I just can’t snap out of it and am growing fat and miserable. It’s at least a comfort to know now I’m not alone.

I think it’s being socially disconnected.
The way we live is part of a social performance in a way, we get dressed nicely, tidy our houses, wash our cars, because at some level we think others will notice and it’s a part of who we are. We all play roles in life and others are our audience, I don’t mean in a fake way, it’s just what we do.
And now (in my case anyway) I’ve lost my audience, there’s nobody to see, nobody to care. I am playing my friend/sister/professional role all from my living room and smelling nice, having good hair having a clean house and eating nice food don’t seem to matter any more, they bring me no social reward, they only matter if I want them. More and more, I find that I care less and less and mostly what I want is to lie in bed eating cereal.

I think this is so true. What’s the point of doing hair/makeup/wearing nice clothes when you’re going nowhere and seeing no one? Also no point keeping the house as clean and tidy as usual because everyone is here making a mess and it’s not like we have any visitors.
Im trying to just see this as a break from the norm and not feeling guilty about doing a lot of sitting around doing nothing. Things will be back to normal soon enough!

I feel the same. During the first lockdowns I was reading lots and found things to do. In this lockdown I am so fed up, feel low and cannot focus on anything. Find it difficult to concentrate for long periods at work too.

Could have written the OP myself. Totally feel your pain. I'm exactly the same 10 plus hour days of mostly zoom calls.

I spent today meh too. Did online church (more bloody zoom!), a walk with a friend and her dog. Did some washing, cooked a roast, did some social media for work, am so bored. Lots to do but can't be arsed.

Looking forward to bed. Then back to it tomorrow. God its so frigging boring. There is nothing to look forward to is there.

In the first lockdown work was so stressful and hideous I thought of little else and when I did have some time off I sat in the sun, natter on the door step to my neighbours and passers by. Gave a bit of variety. We've not even had snow, that would have changed it up a bit.

Ugh. Hope you feel better soon.

You are not alone OP feel exactly this way. Can't focus long enough to read books, trying hard not to doomscroll for hours each day and haven't left the house in days. I've stopped giving myself a hard time about it as I felt this creeping in at the start of lockdown 2. Am trying to enjoy pottering in the garden when it's not pissing down, have started a binge watch of a show that has about 17 series and bought myself a couple of new fluffy ugly tracksuits. The evenings are getting longer in a noticeable way now and I am going to embrace the hibernation until it passes. Emotional exhaustion is a good description as loads of the reasons to bother with stuff have gone for a while.

More and more, I find that I care less and less and mostly what I want is to lie in bed eating cereal.

Can totally relate to this and it made me laugh. Forget the recession and Brexit, when covid is over the whole nation will still be in their beds eating Frosties , unable to do anything else, or even to remember how to do it.

This is me..just no motivation to do anything. I hate staring at my screen all day, teaching art from home, occasionally I get a burst of optimism when I see some nice work that students have done for me, but mostly it's just the same day in day out.
I thrive on that human interaction, connection with the kids, chatting to colleagues...I can't even face doing my own art..no time anyway....my two DC are driving me insane, it's either stroppy rudeness from my 10 year old cause I dared to interrupt her Roblox playing or tantrums, hitting, screaming from my 5 year old...neither are asleep yet, I have to sit with the 5 year old till he does, every fucking night, and all I can think is at least I can sit here on MN rather than starting work, again...but then I alternate between not wanting to do anything and blind panic about how much I have to do.
I did get my upstairs landing decorated this weekend, but there's still do much to do, I blitzed it in 2 days but really really couldn't be arsed. Once I got started I did feel better...but I know it's going to be half finished for weeks now, tools and paint sitting around...I don't even bloody care.
I'm just so sad all the time, I'm so fat, 2 stone put on since November, most of it wine. My skin is shit, my hair hasn't been cut since last year, I'm hideous, with big dark circles under my eyes... I just feel like there's going to be no end to it, and then when schools open, I'll be back to trying to teach my subject from the front of the class, wearing masks so the kids can't hear me, not being able to hear the kids wearing masks, not being able to go and help them, freezing half to death cause every fucking window and door is open...it's sucked the joy out of my job and I don't know if that's worse than being at home every day or not.

I am almost in tears reading so much here that is so familiar. Couldn’t have written any of it better myself.

So sorry that we’re all feeling this way.

yanbu and you're not alone. I don't want to do anything. Anything. I don't care what I eat. I don't care what the kids eat. I don't care that we're on screens all day.

If we were all going on a picnic in the park tomorrow, with nice food, warm sunshine, sleeveless tops on, and a nice bottle of wine, would we feel better? I mean, as individuals, with our families or friends. Not all of us on the thread. Although...

I am also feeling like this. But I have an 11 week old and a 3 year old so physically exhausted as well as mentally. I feel like lying in bed all day but clearly not an option. I am keeping my children alive, fed, clean, warm, read to etc but no joy in anything. Faking it with my toddler and I feel less engaged with my newborn than I was with his brother.

I am fed up of feeling fed up. This lockdown the absolute worst for me. It is the never ending-ness of it all.

Hate life right now and feel dreadfully guilty as I have a newborn and should be delighted and immersed in family life. Truth of the matter is I just crave being on my own all the time.

Feel like things will never get better.

I feel very similar and have friends who are the same. Everything is just so ‘nothingy’. I actually work out of the home in a hospital, which is busy and stressful but once home I’m just swamped by a huge inertia. We were due to have a lot of snow this weekend and I was so looking forward to having something different happen. But it hasn’t settled :( so this weekend has just been more of the same. My 3 DC are all bored out of their minds and fractious and it’s just so hard gathering the energy to help get them out of their slump which I feel I should be doing. I feel like at this point in this interminable pandemic, the last of my emotional and motivational reserves have been used up and I’m just an empty vacant vessel.