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AIBU?

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Original poster

What would happen to my partners money if he dies and we weren't married?

419 replies

grannyinapram · 07/02/2021 12:44

Not a huge amount but we are saving for a house so he has a couple of thousand in his account and I have the same in mine.
We have dc and have lived together since being teens.
But getting married is a hard one because althoufh we are enganged, we don't want to get married yet. The 'wedding' isn't happening until after we buy the house anyway because we don't want to waste money on a crappy affair when we are renting.
Priorities and all that. Covid has pushed both further out of our reach.

I was just reading the will thread where the husband won't write one and it made me wonder what will happen to our money if we died?
We aren't even 30 yet so it seems a little presumptuous to write a will, however DH (not yet lol) has a fairly dangerous job so I'm always worried of the 'what ifs'

I was under the impression that when he died I could just go on his phone and put all the money in my bank and close the account, and vice versa. However I'm not sure now. is that legal? would anyone else have a claim? does it go to our kids? no idea.

OP posts:
Porridgeoat · 07/02/2021 14:39

The money would pay for his funeral and then go to kids

sunflowersandbuttercups · 07/02/2021 14:40

@Porridgeoat

The money would pay for his funeral and then go to kids
This.

But if he only has 2k in the bank, it's likely there won't be any left after funeral costs are paid for. Funerals aren't cheap.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 07/02/2021 14:41

Nip to the registry office and get married, not a waste of money and then you have legal rights should anything happen.

tara66 · 07/02/2021 14:41

Take out life insurance if you don't have it.

Sbowiegirl · 07/02/2021 14:41

Fgs. Just get married. Down at the registry office. Have a big fancy celebration when you can afford to.

And if you are not going to do that, then get your wills in order

knittingaddict · 07/02/2021 14:41

I'm sure someone has already mentioned this, but just in case.

You can say in a will who you want to look after your children on the death of you and your partner, but that isn't legally binding. Others may dispute your decision and the courts will decide to act in the best interests of the children. I imagine that is relatively unusual though.

BluebellsGreenbells · 07/02/2021 14:41

We have a house in both our names 50/50

Depends on the type of ownership

If you own jointly and aren’t married his half goes to his next of kin and they pay up to 40% death charges over a certain amount

You would need to sell and take your 50%

He could leave his half to anyone

It’s different if you own it jointly - but again his family can force the sale if he hasn’t left it to you in a will

You don’t automatically get to keep the house

MrDarcysMa · 07/02/2021 14:42

Just make a will now!

Nomorepies · 07/02/2021 14:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request

viques · 07/02/2021 14:44

If you are married with dependant children and your husband dies you are entitled to a bereavement support grant of about £120 per week. If you aren’t married you aren’t. Simple as.

If you are so worried about finance if your partner dies that you would consider stealing his savings then I suggest you re consider your options. For the price of a wedding licence you are financially cutting off your nose to spite your face.

And btw, if you are paying NI and you die he could claim a bereavement support grant.

Brighterthansunflowers · 07/02/2021 14:46

Of course you can’t just take his money if he died, that would be illegal.

YABVU to not have wills if you have children.

If he dies without a will then rules of intestacy apply. An unmarried partner would get absolutely nothing.

If either of you want to inherit from the other you need to either have proper wills drawn up or get married.

sleepyhead · 07/02/2021 14:47

You can take out life insurance with each other as the beneficiary TODAY - all online, done and dusted by teatime.

Do it via a cashback site and you'll even make a few quid.

Moirarose2021 · 07/02/2021 14:48

Yes make wills. If he drags his feet you can still take life insurance out on him which pays out to you, so at least you are protected to some extent and taking some control ( but I would question why he is dragging his feet)

lyralalala · 07/02/2021 14:48

@viques

If you are married with dependant children and your husband dies you are entitled to a bereavement support grant of about £120 per week. If you aren’t married you aren’t. Simple as.

If you are so worried about finance if your partner dies that you would consider stealing his savings then I suggest you re consider your options. For the price of a wedding licence you are financially cutting off your nose to spite your face.

And btw, if you are paying NI and you die he could claim a bereavement support grant.

Widowed parents allowance isn’t around anymore.

Bereavement support payment, if you have children, is now £350 a month for 18 months, plus a £3500 lump sum

GabsAlot · 07/02/2021 14:50

how is getting married a waste of money

its more likely to save you money in the long run

MaxRushden · 07/02/2021 14:50

@NancyPickford

Another poster upthread mentioned parents taking over in the event of his death. This happened to a very good friend of mine. Living with her partner for 12 years, he had a car accident and was badly injured in hospital. His parents were his next of kind as neither my friend nor her partner had thought about addressing the "what ifs". Parents stepped in, totally excluded my friend, partner sadly died and she had no say whatsoever in the funeral arrangements, the service, his headstone etc etc. In law she was simply a girlfriend, a flat mate. And the funeral wasn't the end of it, the financial implications were huge too.
I too have a friend this has happened to, it was grim. It makes a hugely upsetting time worse.

That's the thing about contracts and policies like marriage, wills, insurance- they're fairly irrelevant until one day when they might suddenly sadly become incredibly relevant.

If you don't make a will you might be leaving a mess behind for your loved ones, just having swill makes everything so much easier. Who would want to place extra stress on their nearest and dearest at an already awful time?

OccultGnuAsWell · 07/02/2021 14:53

My husband died without making a will. As his widow I was able to access all the bereavement payments and benefits and was helped through the process of claiming them by the helpful and supportive staff on the end of the phone.

My stepchild in their thirties lost their partner six months later. They were not married. Stepchild had no access to the same finances or grants that I was able to claim even though they'd been together for longer than me and my husband. They also were unable to keep their house and had to find somewhere else to live, all whilst dealing with their own bereavement.

Despite the above I'm only just getting round to sorting my own will, I should know better but there's something about writing a will that means you're acknowledging you're going to die.

Look at it this way, if you do turn out to be immortal it won't have been too much of a waste of time. And if you like the rest of us turn out to be mortal after all then it makes it so much easier for those left behind to
sort out.

MadameBlobby · 07/02/2021 14:54

@Sbowiegirl

Fgs. Just get married. Down at the registry office. Have a big fancy celebration when you can afford to.

And if you are not going to do that, then get your wills in order

Exactly this
Darbs76 · 07/02/2021 14:54

Of course you’re not too young for a will. If you’ve got kids get it sorted ASAP

ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown · 07/02/2021 14:55

If you select a friend or relative to look after your dc (and they agree!) do you have to leave money to them in your will to enable this? Or can they access your savings in some way? I know my friend-of-choice couldn't afford to suddenly have my dc to look after.

QuantumQuality · 07/02/2021 14:55

Get married. Any widow will tell you that. Just. Get. Married.

saleorbouy · 07/02/2021 14:58

The Intestacy rules of inheritance if no will is made are explained on this U.K gov link.

www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 07/02/2021 15:00

There is no such thing as common law wife People need to understand this

grannyinapram · 07/02/2021 15:01

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