What would happen to my partners money if he dies and we weren't married?

[grannyinapram]

Not a huge amount but we are saving for a house so he has a couple of thousand in his account and I have the same in mine.
We have dc and have lived together since being teens.
But getting married is a hard one because althoufh we are enganged, we don't want to get married yet. The 'wedding' isn't happening until after we buy the house anyway because we don't want to waste money on a crappy affair when we are renting.
Priorities and all that. Covid has pushed both further out of our reach.

I was just reading the will thread where the husband won't write one and it made me wonder what will happen to our money if we died?
We aren't even 30 yet so it seems a little presumptuous to write a will, however DH (not yet lol) has a fairly dangerous job so I'm always worried of the 'what ifs'

I was under the impression that when he died I could just go on his phone and put all the money in my bank and close the account, and vice versa. However I'm not sure now. is that legal? would anyone else have a claim? does it go to our kids? no idea.

I am 36. I was diagnosed 4.5 years ago with Hodgkin lymphoma. I have had a stem cell transplant. I have been intensive care a few times and it all looked a bit unsure. Believe me life is much more fragile than anyone really realises. Please make your wills. Also whether you get married or not consider how to own a house. Joint tenants would give you equal shares if anything happens. That's how my ex (father of my 2 children) and I owned our property. When we broke up after 13.5 years together at least I walked away with 50% of the house money. Otherwise he wouldn't have given me anything. Because we weren't married I wouldn't have been entitled to anything.

I've not got a will but I am married. However I did take out life insurance when I was pregnant with my first. Although I don't earn much I do the lions share of childcare. If anything happens to me my life insurance would help my husband with childcare costs, maybe a nanny as his job is quite demanding. Or it would buy a small house so he wouldn't have to worry about rent or a mortgage and therefore have a more disposable income to cover childcare. Neither of us have savings to pass on.

"Will kits £10 in WHSmiths. £20 and an afternoon of filling them in, copy them on your printer and send a copy to the people you want to look after them in the event ( your 'executors'. Grow up, get this sorted."

Scottish law is different to English law so these will firms are not really appropriate up here. Most solicitors offer quite reasonable rates and it is well worth it to have some contact with them. My own lawyer came to my house and spent almost two hours explaining how I could wind up my husband's estate and didn't charge me a penny.

@twoshedsjackson

I have, sadly, had to wind up two estates (both my late parents) and the difference between an estate with a will, and one without, can be chalk and cheese. My DF put it off; it's an odd "superstition" that contemplating one's end brings it closer, and he was one of those dear souls who would have benefited from a "round tuit" such as I was gifted when I bought my first little house. DM's understandable grief was made worse by having to disentangle the legal side of things, and I ended up dealing with quite a lot of it. When she later died, I was able to deal with most of the form-filling without paying solicitor's fees, as she had a clearly written will. A friend lent me a cheery little volume from the Consumers' Association called "What to Do When Someone Dies", and the only thing I left to the professionals was the transfer of the house deeds. It's one legal area where matters are made easy for the lay person. One a purely practical note, I was given the choice of opening an "executor's account" by the bank, for immediate expenses like arranging a funeral; although her account was frozen, it was clear that I was a beneficiary. As it happened, I had enough funds in hand not to need that, but imagine a bereaved partner having the additional grief of having to raise funds for a decent send-off. I think one day off would be time well spent.

@twoshedsjackson I agree wholeheartedly.

People should make wills out of respect to their executors, to make a difficult time as easy as possible.

My mum's was just one page but made things so much easier for me.

*Executors or next of kin. Obviously no executors if no will!

@ItsIgginningtolooklikelockdown

Good show.

And do a POA for each other while you are thinking of it. No real need for a solicitor, just fill out the forms

https://www.gov.uk/power-of-attorney/make-lasting-power

My grandfather died not having a will and his estate was put into probate. By the time it got sorted out there was nothing left tor my granny. With the amount your talking about there would be anything left as his funeral costs would be taken out of this too. The estate would be frozen if not will is made and probate would occur. With a will it would be handed to whoever is on it. So I would recommend getting wills sorted

In addition, and someone correct me if I am wrong, once you own a house and remain unmarried, inheritance tax is payable on the estate on death which could mean you need to sell the property to pay it (you get 6 months to pay). The estate may not be liable for tax of course.

If you are married however, IHT is not paid as the property defaults to the surviving spouse (if held jointly).

Please- to anyone reading this. If you have any financial interest in your partner and / or kids. Get your wills sorted out. If you died at the same time you need to know who will take charge of your kids. Please take out a life insurance policy on each of you but it’s really important that it’s set up so that the proceeds get paid to the right person. Life insurance when you’re young isn’t expensive

If your partner died his next of kin would get any money. His children , siblings and parents. All would have equal claim so if 2 parents living, 2 sibling and 2 children after funeral costs paid each would.have one sixth of any remaining wealth. Same with death in service unless he names specific beneficiaries. Get married, make mirror wills.

Unfortunately, I've been here. My partner died in 2019. She didn't have a will so, only money that was in the joint account was available to me. Just remember there is no come back on anything you do whilst they are alive. I agreed everything with her before doing it. Legally, I was her next of kin up until she died. After that her parents got to decide. Any money would go to a blood relationship starting with the parents. If the parents are not alive then siblings, etc.

Just remember to put realistic conditions in your will, i.e. if you two are no longer together (do you really want the money going to him if something happens to you) or you have children then the money should go to them. It is morbid but it is something that is always worth doing. Take life insurance out as a joint policy, then if anything happens the money is there to help the other, that is what I chose to do as I was older. We were together 25 years. My head is still not in the right place to deal with money - am sure I will get there.

My best suggestion is for both of you to write it out on paper and show it to each other. Try and get a deal from your bank or someone that will do it for free if you sign up to something - that way you are not committed to staying with them if you want to.
Hope the advice helps.
Take Care

Are you planning to buy a house with no bannisters, OP? And very well-polished stairs ...

@caringcarer

If your partner died his next of kin would get any money. His children , siblings and parents. All would have equal claim so if 2 parents living, 2 sibling and 2 children after funeral costs paid each would.have one sixth of any remaining wealth. Same with death in service unless he names specific beneficiaries. Get married, make mirror wills.

That’s not the case in Scotland or England, or as far as I’m aware NI or Wales. Children take priority in inheritance over parents and siblings

GET A WILL!

We bought our first flat at 26, we wrote wills. If you don't have any complicated affairs, just savings plus a house and you just want to leave it to each other it's super simple, you can get standard formats online for example from Which?

And DON'T underestimate how crap it will be if all the money goes to your children if he does die - you then won't be able to make any decisions about how to use that money, so for example if you want to e.g. move house/send them to private school/buy a family car etc. etc. that would need the approval of their trustees and be a massive pain. So get a will, don't just think 'oh it's fine, it will still go to our children'.

I never understand how people can be so blind about this. People die unexpectedly all the time. I have a relative who was on holiday when her partner died and came home to find his nephew (his heir) had changed all the locks and wouldn't even let her in to take her clothes or cat... obviously no children in that scenario, but legally you would have zero access to that money at all, it would all be managed by the children's trustees (of which you could be one, but I don't think you could be the only one).

Does he have employment with a pension scheme and death in service benefits. Check if he has put you down as his next of kin as his partner as he could put down parents over you.

@Jarstastic
the state widowed allowance etc etc

I thought this had gone anyway???

From Gov, quick google

Eligibility
You may be able to get Bereavement Support Payment (BSP) if your husband, wife or civil partner died in the last 21 months.

You must claim within 3 months of your partner’s death to get the full amount. You can claim up to 21 months after their death but you’ll get fewer monthly payments.

Bereavement Support Payment has replaced Bereavement Allowance (previously Widow’s Pension), Bereavement Payment, and Widowed Parent’s Allowance.

You could be eligible if your partner either:

paid National Insurance contributions for at least 25 weeks in one tax year since 6 April 1975
died because of an accident at work or a disease caused by work
When they died you must have been:

under State Pension age
living in the UK or a country that pays bereavement benefits
You cannot claim BSP if you’re in prison.

If your partner died more than 21 mon

Although a little played on the series finding Alice is your situation in a hat he dies there not married she’s not entitled to a bean . Not even the house she’s in . The kids get it all . Write a will . It doesn’t take much .

@Mulletonyourhead

Does life insurance automatically come with a mortgage?

No!

[quote amispeakingenglish]@Jarstastic
the state widowed allowance etc etc

I thought this had gone anyway???[/quote]
Widowed parents allowance is gone

Bereavement support payments if your partners is under pension age when they did are £350 a month for 18 months, plus £3500 lump sum, if you have kids. If you don’t have kids it’s £2500 plus £100 a month for 18 months.

Bereavement support payments are only paid if you are married or in a civil partnership, not if you are partners no matter how long term.

Have you been watching ‘Finding Alice’?

My first husband died at 35, just write a will already!

You can get a kit from WH Smiths.
Because you have children , make mirror wills. When you get a mortgage you'll have to have life insurance to pay it off if you die.
It's good to have one to express your wishes of what want to happen to the children if you both died at the same time.
Wills aren't just for people with money.

Get your own life insurance. Don’t expect the State to prop you up. They won’t!