To ask your most crippling put down from a child?

[PunkyPirate]

My daughter stuck her head in my crotch area this evening when we were sat in the sofa, sniffed deeply then went "Agghhhh... Mummma!! You stink! You need to remember to wash your foof!!!"

I was mortified!!! Admittedly, it was day 3/4 of wearing the same jeans! 🙈😂

I went to a wedding 8 weeks after DD was born and when I was still BFing. A young girl maybe 8/9 years old asked me if I couldn't find anything to wear.

RuralJuror

Me: Does this new top make me look fat?

DS: No, it's your fat that makes you look fat.

Savage!

One of Father friends could swear like a trouper. He had a really pretty little four year old daughter Pat - with blonde curly hair, big blue eyes etc.,
This child and her mother were in the street one day and an old lady who lived nearby could not resist stopping by to comment on how pretty “Pat” was. “Oh what a pretty little thing. What lovely golden curls” etc……Pat chimed up with “What are you looking at me like that for? You silly fat old bugger!!”

My teenagers are still cutting. Mum you need to dye your hair.
Mum you'd look quite nice if you wore make up
Mum don't go out in that top.
It's no wonder I'm totally paranoid.
It was about 3 years ago my eldest looked at me while the sun was shining on my hair and said loudly. "Oh Mum look at all your gray hair. Your nearly as grey as Grandad!"

“ You’re not my real Mum” ( DD12 is adopted). We expected that but it still really hurts

@Lalliella

- same here

My 'comfy' jeans that are used for dog walking, and pretty much everthing else...

Dd (12) and I were going for a (short) walk with the dogs. Dd turned round to me and suggested she gave me tips on how to dress. I was not impressed. I’m disabled and had surgery no 3 on my stomach and it’s numb but very painful. I haven’t been able to wear trousers for almost a decade. Funnily enough I don’t want Nike pro leggings and Guess jumpers...

Well, according to the song it's fine to have the same jeans on for 4 days then go to a disco in the middle of town so it really can't be THAT bad

DS2 when he was about 8 and in control of the in-car music “Mum, I’ll play The Stranglers if you promise not to sing”

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

You had the same jeans on for 3 or 4 days. No disrespect or hurt intended, but that’s grim and not to mention rank. It’s no wonder you were stinking. 🤮

Really? Presumably people change their underwear and socks daily. Presumably they wash daily? How rank can they be?

Quite pleased with myself and my new coat and hat.
Until ds told me I looked like a lovely sheep..

I was happily dancing round the kitchen and explaining to DD aged 3 that it was one of my favourite songs from when I was a kid:

"Me and my friends would dance like this whenever this song came on"
DD: "did everyone laugh at you then too?"

When I taught nursery and had quite a lot of spots (late 20s) a 4yo asked if I had chickenpox because I had spots.

Then last week my own 3yo randomly 'mummy you have a big spot!' Pointing at my head.

Missing the tone of the thread @smoothchange

@WeatherwaxOn

Presumably people change their underwear and socks daily. Presumably they wash daily? How rank can they be?

Rank enough for the smell to register with their toddler. So presumably OP didn't wash or change underwear every day.

Well, according to the song it's fine to have the same jeans on for 4 days then go to a disco in the middle of town so it really can't be THAT bad

I never understood that song. I always thought "what, is having the same jeans on for 4 days what counts as rebellious now. Dearie me, the youth of today..."

Friends DD, when me and friend were both bending over putting a wardrobe together - Judas, your bottom is much bigger than mummy’s . I forgave her.
My DD, - Mummy you’re not fat, you’re cushiony (no one had actually said I was fat btw )
Not a child, but a teenager on Sainsbury’s checkout - Ah, when’s it due? - he looked utterly mortified when I said ‘Um, I had her a month ago’

[quote smoothchange]@tobee

What do you mean 'and another one'

As if having your fanny smell so bad through your jeans that your child notices it is any way normal

Let's be realistic here. Wear the same jeans multiple times? Absolutely fine. Actual smelly crotch through said jeans? Just not even close to fine. [/quote]
I agree.

Walking through town, make up on, hair done. Small child shouts out ‘are you a man or a lady?’ 😭

Re. unwashed jeans etc - washing is a modern thing - most people didn't have running water until about 100 years ago (in the ''West'') so not much washing of anything. e.g. Queen Elizabeth 1 is said to have only bathed once or twice a year - but some how humanity survived.

I’m not bothered if OP has a smelly fanny, can’t smell it via Mumsnet so no problem to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

When bending down to dry my 3 year old in the swimming changing room, she piped up in her loudest voice “mummy, your boobs look really long”. I swear I heard the person in the next changing room sniggering

Summer time in lockdown, I was playing in the pool with both my DC when the youngest said to me mum why is your face so hairy? eldest DC couldn’t stop laughing I was mortified.

@MissMarpleDarling

People wear the same jeans for 3 or 4 days? 😳

Yes, there was a song about it and everything! It makes me laugh how easily appalled some mumsnetters are.

I've just got a new boilersuit and I love it so much I wore it for 4 days straight when it arrived. Fair enough, the forth day was a bit touch and go, and three days is maximum now.

I was told my bum looked like one of our guinea pigs bum (think a large saggy arse like an elephant that sways side to side when you walk).

Cheek!