To ask your most crippling put down from a child?

[PunkyPirate]

My daughter stuck her head in my crotch area this evening when we were sat in the sofa, sniffed deeply then went "Agghhhh... Mummma!! You stink! You need to remember to wash your foof!!!"

I was mortified!!! Admittedly, it was day 3/4 of wearing the same jeans! 🙈😂

@SuperHighway

My daughter's friend came for tea. They were about year 4. I noticed the friend watching me as I moved around the kitchen, then she said to DD "I don't think your mum looks like Snape".

Bahaha! :o

Not mine, but my sister's younger DD wandered in on her in the bath when she was 5 or 6 and stood staring for a while before saying "Mummy, some ladies have chests that kind of stick out. Why does yours have those dangly bits?" 🤣

My own worst comment is more recent. On a bike ride with my teenage son I shouted "Slow down and wait for your old fat mother!". He replied "You're not that fat....." Ouch. But then he was recently surprised to hear that they had invented weather forecasts when I was a child. I sometimes wonder exactly how old he thinks I am!

I once told my mum not to buy my then 6 year old DD a bikini (she’d been asking for one but I told her she was too young). DD turned to my mum and said “she’s just jealous because she’s too fat to wear one”

Same DD aged 14 - “I wish you’d stay out of my room, you bring too much negative energy”

My twin nieces when aged about 4 (several decades ago.)

Niece A: "Are you old Auntie Rose?"
Me: "I don't think so, I 'm only 25."
Niece B: " You're not old Auntie Rose. You're new aren't you?"

I guess to them, the term young could never be applied to a 25 year old!

‘Solve it’ whilst putting feet up on desk, hands behind head after asking said child to get down to some wok in class.

Then ‘solve it’ became one of those phrases that spread like wildfire as a retort .. think about 2016. Bloody kids.

*work not wok

On way back from collecting DD (then 15) from a birthday party where mother of birthday child is very glam.

DD: how old is mother of birthday child?
Me: about 3 years older than me.
DD: no offence but she looks at least 15 years younger than you

Ouch.

Two girls I babysat for years ago. They had two older sisters and they'd found one of their magazines like "just seventeen" proceeded to read out the problem page about a girl who had a hairy fanny.
I was asked if I had a hairy fanny to which I replied I wasn't willing to answer, only to be told they'd ask my mum when she next came to clean their house🙄

My friends wee girl (6) was hanging about. I wanted to talk something over with her mum so I said "I'll wait till you have your DD in bed" her DD replied "I'm not going anytime soon, just say it, I'll no judge you" 🤣

My sister was about 4 when one day she saw my Dad having a wee, wandered up to him and casually pointed to his willy asking 'is that your finger?'

I wish there was a way of filtering out the boring vagina posts. Read the room people!

@BonnesVacances

I wish there was a way of filtering out the boring vagina posts. Read the room people!

I find your response boring too, there is no ‘room’ it’s a forum with millions of opinions and views.

Went to give my ( then) 3 yo a kiss first thing in the morning. She waved me away and said " brush your teeth" 🤣

Getting changed one day one of mine said mammy, why are your boobs so long, killer

I work in a school. A year 1 child said to me “You’re very pretty. I don’t like you though.”

Can’t win ‘em all!

I've had the opposite fir the last couple of days. It started with ds2 hearing Dp tell me he thought I was beautiful. Bless him. Two minutes later " I think you are the most beautiful mummy ever on earth " (absolutely not a stealth boast bear with me).

I melted and said "aww ds2 how lovely thank you "
two minutes later

"You are so beautiful mummy ....can I have chocolate?"
An hour later
"You ar ether most beautiful mummy ever ....can I stay up a bit longer "
Continue for every possible thing he wanted / didn't want / on occasion randomly saying it just in case he might play up within the next hour as insurance (no it didn't work )
"DS2 eat your dinner please "
"Mummy have I told you are beautiful?"
" eat....your....dinner "

Hmmm now I'm not quite sure but something tells me he is not being entirely genuine here

My daughter, when she was 5, was carefully drawing me and added big dots all over my face. I asked what they were. "Those big holes all over your face. Don't be sad, all grown ups have them, what are they?"

I still have no idea - pores maybe? 😂

@BonnesVacances

I wish there was a way of filtering out the boring vagina posts. Read the room people!

I wish there was a way of filtering out people who want to filter out people.

I was singing Britney Spears Stronger ( it is catchy I my defence) whilst getting my two to brush their teeth. My dd gave me a look and I said, 'I know, mummy's singing voice is not that great'. Dd who is 4 said , 'I like your singing mummy, it just sometimes hurts my ears'. Ouch!

Thr other day dd called me a tiger mummy. I asked why and she said because she loves the stripes in my hair. I need to do my roots.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

Playing I-Spy with a young nephew in the car:

‘I spy something very old and wrinkly.’

My elbow - I had an arm round the back of the seat.😩

😂

DD Daughter 5 at the time told DD’s( 19) boyfriend that my boobs look like bananas and I have a squishy belly

Oh and recently my 10 year old daughter asked me if she'll have a big bum and hips like mine when she hits puberty.

@BestZebbie

My 4yr old approvingly admired my new black swimming costume by saying that now I looked exactly like Hippo from Tinga Tinga Tales.

I know I shouldn't laugh oh god 😂 my son has said similar to me.

@Fembot123

I’m the owner of one and have visited a few and kicking off a pong through trousers is not normal 😂

Your posts on this thread have been epic and made me laugh a lot.

I wish there was a way of filtering out people who want to filter out people.

👏👏👏👏

@happystrummer

My now 26 year old when he was 4 demanding to know what hospital he was born in so he could phone them and tell them to take him back as i wasn't looking after him properly. He'd had a telling off for crayoning on the wall.

This wins the thread I think.