Actresses - Feel so cross - ruined by plastic surgery

[Thisisnotreallymyname]

Feel so sad - been watching TV and why is it that women ( in the main ) feel the need to absolutely ruin their faces with fillers, Botox, face lifts, to the point where they look deformed, or like they are wearing shiny masks.
Felicity Kendal last night on Graham Norton, Fern Britton on Mastermind, Sally Thomsett on Pointless Celeb........
Do they not see what we see when they look in the mirror ?
I’ve nothing against PSurgery, but my God, please know when to stop !

IABU - they look fine
IANBU -they look awful .

Dolly Parton looks alright though for some reason.

.

Brian Cox was in Sharpe's Rifles? Hmmmmmm.

.....and Sean a quick reminder

I think it’s pretty grim to describe women as “ruined”.

@TiltedLane NK always looks snooty because that's the expression her features have been frozen into.

@AStudyinPink

I think it’s pretty grim to describe women as “ruined”.

I think it’s pretty grim that women ruin their faces in an attempt to stop the clock. 🤷‍♀️

Been thinking about Dolly. I think with her it's partly that the surgery look is not a huge change from her real face - in that she's always had a slim nose, full lips etc - but also that she embraces an artificial, OTT look and has often said so. A bit like Joan Rivers in that way.

Also she's (mainly) not an actress who has to express nuanced emotions in her face.

I would still rather see a naturally older-looking DP and I'm sure she'd be just as fabulous - but it doesn't stop her doing her job properly in the same way as with NK.

As for "ruined" - it is harsh and I wouldn't use that, but I think there's a natural human reaction when you see a face that looks drastically changed and oddly immobile. You instinctively have a feeling of alarm which could be part of our instinct to detect illness or injury in each other.

It's not at all strange to feel upset or angry because it reflects society's impression that women need to look youthful to be deemed worthy and that women need to feel they look youthful to feel worthy.

What is so wrong with growing older? It's a travesty that experience and knowledge gained through living in still undermined by how a woman looks.

The fact I like to wear make up and may in time have a touch of filler is nothing to do with how men promote the look of an ideal woman. That's just bollocks.

Where do you think the puffed up lips 'look' comes from?! Porn!

It’s also a depressing reminder that in this respect decades of feminism have achieved so little. There was a nasty little song in the 1930s that went along the lines of “Keep young and beautiful if you want to be loved”, here we are nearly a century later and the message is still the same.

But again, doing this doesn't make women look young and beautiful. It makes them look a bit fresher and less lined (at best if done subtly) and at worst, makes them look very strange with reduced expression. (Same for men though the pressure is on them less)

So I wonder if what this is really about is a more general societal pressure that makes women feel less valued and that they must make a massive effort to look acceptable and fork out loads of cash for it, even if it doesn't work. This affects both older women and younger ones having lip fillers etc, as PPs have said.

If nothing else it makes money for big businesses run mainly by men.

But I also think that just because that pressure exists, doesn't mean everyone accepts it - many women don't. We can stand up to it, we can choose not to do it. Of course you can also choose to do it - but I don't agree that "the pressure" on women can't be resisted.

@gnomeisland

LindyLou2020

Nope. "Actresses" is a patronising belittling outmoded job description that implies a subset of the profession of actor.

Internalised misogyny.

Those are very good points @HerselfIndoors. You’re right that millions of us resist the pressure but the pressure shouldn’t exist in the first place. You have to be pretty comfortable in your own skin to resist it.

I stopped dyeing my hair and went completely grey in my early 40s and there were plenty of people who felt entitled to have an opinion on it. The best anyone could say was it was “brave”. Needless to say, I didn’t give a shit.

A few years down the line when lines started appearing round my mouth I actually considered fillers for about five seconds before I gave myself a kick up the arse. If someone as unconcerned as me about other people’s opinion gave it head space, what chance does someone more easily influenced have?

@VinylDetective

This isn’t about wearing makeup or individual women’s choices about doing whatever they like to their faces. It’s about a society that makes women feel the need to obliterate every sign of age as if ageing is shameful. A society that’s made youth a deity at whose altar we feel obliged to worship.

It’s about women becoming invisible as they get older, all the derogatory terms applied to women all prefaced by “old”. Old bag, old trout.

Every woman in the public eye is pressurised to fight back the years and that trickles down to the rest of us. How many women would make the choice to have stuff injected into her face if society wasn’t telling her age is ugly?

Interestedly the boys in the special school I work at frequently use the worse types of swear words. But you can tell when they really want be offensive because after the “c” word they call you “old”and “wrinkly”.

Vinyl I've had "brave" for having short hair! "You're so brave... I'd love to try short hair but I'm too scared / I don't think DH would like it" etc

I've also looked in the mirror and wondered if I could do anything. But I've realised the main reason for this is when I look in the mirror as I get older, I see my mum, and it feels as if anyone looking at my face will see the same qualities I see in her of bitterness and criticalness. I wish I didn't look like her, but I have to remind myself that other people probably don't see that. But I can see how people get tempted.

I think it’s pretty grim that women ruin their faces in an attempt to stop the clock.

It's like turning back the clock to stop it getting dark. It won't, and it will, and you will continue to age which is why so much work ends up looking odd and often worse than ageing naturally.

Vinyl I've had "brave" for having short hair! "You're so brave... I'd love to try short hair but I'm too scared / I don't think DH would like it" etc confused

It’s enough to make you slice a breast off and take up archery, isn’t it?

@VinylDetective

It’s also a depressing reminder that in this respect decades of feminism have achieved so little. There was a nasty little song in the 1930s that went along the lines of “Keep young and beautiful if you want to be loved”, here we are nearly a century later and the message is still the same.

Yes I remember that song, I think some DJ - David Hamilton? Used it to preface a section about beauty tips. “Keep young and beautiful, it’s your duty to be beautiful, keep young and beautiful if you want to be loved.” Didn’t realise as a teen how awful it was.